Is this on video? I gotta see it! You, at a wedding, making a toast in nothing but piss-stained underwear? Surely, that has to be a classic. Kristen Wiig has to see that and add it to her "Sue" character.

What? How in the world did you not realize that you’re awake? If you’re at a wedding I assume you had to get up, get dressed, find transportation there, etc. Did you enter a fugue state when you started the toast or....?

Yeah, sounds more like you were extremely drunk, frankly. Shoulda took a few less trips to the open bar.

You had to be intoxicated, OP. How else would "pinch myself" be so far down THAT list of choices?? It should have been #1, not below the "Embarrass Myself" section of choices.

If you're serious about this, and if you were not extremely drunk at the time, then you might want to consider seeing a shrink about your breaks with reality....

If this was a dream and you pissed yourself in the dream then that’s one thing. But if this was really at the wedding with you dressed but not sure if you were awake that’s another (and pretty disturbing) thing. OP Which was it?

Um sounds like maybe you need some help.

"Oh my God... I've never been this nervous in my life... this is so scary I might... no, I am pissing myself... but it's okay, it's only a dream. Jeez, I can't stand here wearing clothes soaked in my own piss. I better take it off. I'll leave my underwear on, though. Don't want to freak out these dream guests. Although... it really doesn't feel like a dream. I'd better pinch myself just to make su... oh fuck..." Time to get on that wagon, and stay there. After changing your name, and moving half way around the world, of course.