By ThirdWheelHell - 30/06/2016 06:07 - United States - Farmville

Today, I had a date with a guy. We ran into our gay friend at the theater, who insisted on coming along. My date was pissed, but I couldn't turn our friend away. Afterwards, my date texted our friend, mad because he crashed the date. Turns out he isn't gay. And only crashed it because he likes me. FML
I agree, your life sucks 12 988
You deserved it 3 526

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Tiaaa_16 24

I have to agree with your date it was rude of you to not tell your friend to leave.

shepardkinz 19

If you were on a date, then you should have told your friend that it was nice to see him, but you'd have to hang out with him at another time. It was rude of you to invite someone else along.


Hey, pretending to be gay IS pretty gay, lol. Maybe op should post his number on a gay hookup site so he can get some unwanted attention of his own.

The PC in here is really bugging me.. I have a gay family member and even a couple gay friends.. I FULLY support them all and even talk to them about their relationships or even help them through their trouble with them. To me, I use it occasionally as a term for something I don't personally like, and I can't see how that detracts from my views or support that I give to this community. I thought that as a country we were over this stigma, so why then can we not have a little light hearted joking about the topic? SMH..

Bahaha, I love that you couldn't just let people downvote you without three more comments. If you call a shitty thing "shitty," it only works if being shitty is bad; if you call a shitty thing "gay," it only works if being gay is bad. Not to mention, having gay friends doesn't preclude you from being a homophobe. Hell, gay people can and do say homophobic stuff. ("I'm gay, but I'm not a /fag/." "I'm gay, but that dude is taking it too far.") Even if we put aside the minor homophobic implications, your joke just wasn't funny. Calling somebody who pretends to be gay… "gay" isn't clever; it's incredibly obvious. It's up there with "shitty situation" comments, and even pussy puns tend to require a bit more effort. tl;dr: Just because people didn't find your vapid joke funny doesn't mean it's because of all the "PC in here".

I'm not downvoting you for it, but that's a shitty excuse. Using gay to describe something you dislike makes it kind of sound like you dislike gays. I personally don't have a problem with it, but understand it if someone's not ok with using the word like that. And saying you get a free pass because you have gay friends is like saying something racist is okay because you've got a black friend. FML is worldwide, btw.

Both preferably. Actually, can I have some hot cocoa?

Actually I was just trying to discern the reasoning behind the downvotes. I had assumed making multiple comments would bait some of the more self indulgent members into making some form of a high horse condescension post to tell me the error of my ways. It appears I was correct in this assumption. I don't see a correlation between not liking something myself and wanting to do away with it or viewing it as a bad thing. I don't particularly like many television shows and yet I have no problem with other people watching them. I may even be perfectly willing to discuss those shows, and compare another show to it, but if it's not for me then I am probably not going to watch it. -shrug-

You baited people for a response; that's typically just called trolling and done by enraged preteens. As far as self-indulgence goes, I don't think you know that that means, but it's a great thing to say when you have no specific points. You complained about people being politically correct instead of conceding that maybe your joke just wasn't funny. Is your opinion of yourself so high nobody can take issue with your jokes without having something up themselves? I never said nor implied you wanted to "do away with" homosexuality. You can not want to do away with black people and still make racist jokes. It just means you're being slightly racist. Phobias don't tend to be black and white (pun never intended), and you don't seem like a totally homophobic prick; you just made an unfunny joke.

Actually I just wanted to know if that was the reason for the downvotes. I could care less about making a less than hysterical joke, but I can only assume my statement struck some kind of a chord with you based on your response. Perhaps you should take a step back and re-evaluate things, this is a humor site, not a political platform. Since the topic was brought up, however, I do not believe in acknowledging racism or homophobia. To me they should not exist, and therefore I do not acknowledge them. I believe holding onto such extensive protection of certain words or phrases because they used to be or could possibly be construed as hateful or bigoted only perpetuates the existence of those hateful terms. So it would suffice to say that I do not believe in your hate speech and will not acknowledge my words or actions as taking part in them. Thank you. -steps down off of soap box-

You've posted more comments than I have on this thread, so I'm probably not the one with a struck chord. If you were truly posting out of curiosity, you would've stopped a while ago. Now you know why people didn't find your incredibly obvious "joke" funny (regardless of homophobia) and are still going on while calling me self-indulgent. I dislike the notion of hate speech and censorship as much as the next person. I believe it's up to individuals to point out when others are being douchey, and that's exactly what I've done. Go ahead and continue ignoring the well-documented institutions of racism and homophobia; if you ignore hard enough, maybe they'll disappear.

It is self indulgent because these posts are generally made due to the up votes that they get. Or are you truly that concerned with my wellbeing? Ignoring them is exactly what everyone should be doing. They become less prevalent that way and so few people know about it that the genuine behavior itself becomes strange and ignorant, while chastising those that had no ill intentions does the exact opposite in showing that the movement is ultimately over sensitive and making a big deal out of nothing. It's a tug of war without a goal line, the only way it's going to end is if we both let go of the rope or if one side destroys the other.

It's self-indulgent because you were the first person on this thread to mention your politics (in post #9). Then you tell me I might want to step back and reevaluate things if I consider this a political platform. Now you're still sharing your rather uninformed views and failing to take your own advice. I care as much about your wellbeing as you did when you first implied I was being self-indulgent. Ignoring works great in theory but not in practice. In the past, wars have been fought, amendments have been made to constitutions, and people have been called out for the sake of equality… or not saying douchey things. Again, you're the one with more posts on this thread, and YOU brought up politics. We were fine with downvoting you, but you were set on "making a big deal out of nothing." Neither of us will be destroyed by this; it's a simple argument on a server. If you want people to ignore things, feel free to start with these posts. But I won't blame you if you don't want to take your own advice. If you don't think it's insulting to use a descriptor of a large group as an… insult, that's a logical failure on your part. No politics required.

Quit acting like such a republican. Actually I brought up my reasoning for the comments to correct a label used by you which I believe to be incorrect. If I had any interests or self serving agendas I would not be posting as any posts made by me in this thread will be downvotes based on the merits of my initial post, which you seem to be having difficulty deciding if it is just a bad joke or racist and implicative. I am simply a dissenting opinion on this topic, and I am perfectly willing to be martyred via downvotes for it. They have very little impact on my day to day life, and I feel introducing this concept to the world far outweighs the values of a few likes on the Internet.

Beautifully described Tripartita, you're awesome as usual.

Can you be more obnoxious #39? You're acting like you're the center of the world.

Quit posting inanity. Wait, are you saying simply /ignoring/ my use of the word "homophobic" didn't make it go away?! Weird. So you can correct people when you want, but when I do it, I'm making a big deal out of nothing. Also, you didn't correct anything; you made a homophobic joke and then asserted you aren't homophobic. I've already said the two things aren't mutually exclusive. You don't seem to be a full blown "gays must be killed" homophobe, you just use one homophobic insult. I'm having no difficulties; it was both a bad joke /and/ homophobic. It didn't originally mention race, and "implicative" is actually an adjective you just used as a noun. Nobody else cares about downvotes either; you bring them up and claimed to "bait" people into responding so you'd know why you're getting them. You're not actually introducing anything to the world (what a pompous thing to say. Talk about actual self-indulgence); it's a view quite a few people have. It's a view I lost in my teens when I realized that using a term as an insult means that term is bad. It's really simple. Call people "straight" "smart" or "spinning" as insults; they won't make sense because there isn't an underlying notion that there bad. Call somebody "gay" as an insult, and what are you implying about actually being gay?

What I am implying is that it is something they would not wish to be called. It's pretty simple actually, and I am asserting my political stance because I don't care about how funny the joke is but you seem to have a misconception over why the joke was made and keep insisting that it is referring to gays derogatorily when I am informing you that it is based entirely how you view the context of someone calling you gay. In my experience most people would take offense to being called such, which perhaps reflects a larger problem within our society that is perpetuated by our acknowledgement. Actually, to further my point. Me ignoring your insults is one thing, but if the community as a whole did that would be a very different scenario and you would no longer perceive your words as having any power or substance. The fact that I feel that way about them as an individual only goes so far, hence my spreading this dissension.

We get it, you own a thesaurus (and a massive ego).

Dude. Surrender... This has gone on WAY too long and you're still digging. I'm amazed you made it past the bedrock to the point you can no longer see daylight at the top of your hole.

I'd prefer a more grandiose term than massive

And I'd prefer you shutting the hell up, but apparently we can't always have what we want.

Feel free to call gay people gay. Nobody will argue against that useless bit of tautology. If you're using it as an insult, like calling somebody who ruined their friend's date "gay," then you're implying there's something bad about being gay. You're arguing that context matters, and I agree. If you were really just calling him gay because he acted stereotypically gay for deception, then that's an equally obvious and unfunny joke. Either way, people didn't find it funny, so you turned it political. As for needing to have power or substance behind insults, that didn't stop you from first calling me self-indulgent or condescending. I've since been pointing out where you're guilty of being those very things. "I am asserting my political stance because I don't care about how funny the joke is" Yet just a few posts ago, you gave me this gem of advice: "Perhaps you should take a step back and re-evaluate things, this is a humor site, not a political platform." You contradict yourself so often it's hard to keep up.

It's actually quite simple, if you call someone something that they are not they will probably not like it. If you are complaining about my defenses on the political aspects the stop suggesting that there are any. I probed into whether or not the downvotes were politically motivated and you felt that they were, prompting the need for me to correct you on my intentions with the post, so if you want to complain that's fine, but don't get annoyed when you continue to get the same response. Also, I will generally continue any argument until either; my mind is changed, I am satisfied with the outcome, or the staff deems fit to close the thread. I am not interested in the fact that you perceive me to be a certain way or not, so unless you plan on debating me personally rather than catering to an audience you will find that you are simply wasting your time.

SilverInGray 25

55- haha just because he gets upvoted doesn't mean he's "catering to an audience". It just means they like what he's saying more. They don't dislike you because you're not catering to them, they dislike you because what you say is illogical and annoying, amongst other reasons.

Well if you have a problem with the political reasoning maybe you should stop bringing it up. You bounce back and forth between your stances. If it's only a joke then you had a problem with the political aspects, if those are addressed you bounce back to this "I thought it was only a joke." Thing.. So, again. Make up your mind. The idea is actually very simple. If you call someone something that they are not they probably won't like it and especially so the more they can appear to be what you called them, just ask any hipster(and be sure to call them a hipster). Now if you want to read into that heavily and come up with all of these theories and intentions that I had in saying it then I cannot stop you, but if you voice those I am going to correct you.

Seems this thread was edited by the mods, fair enough. There seems to be no agreement to be had here.

I sort of took the deletion of a few of our comments to mean "shut up, guys," but what the hell? One second, you tell me, "I am asserting my political stance because I don't care about how funny the joke is" while a few posts above, you say, "Perhaps you should take a step back and re-evaluate things, this is a humor site, not a political platform." You can't even maintain consistency. At this point, further discourse seems useless. For anybody who's scratching their head after reading the past 26 comments, trying to figure out how it lasted so long with so little substance, I'd recommend googling the Dunning-Krueger effect. It's a cognitive bias that's fascinating and incredibly relevant to these interactions.

I thought the joke was funny. and I'm not homophobic. Let's use an example. I'm mostly German, let's say their a "All Germans are Nazis" joke and makes fun of me. I can still think it's funny without being pissed about it. Or a white joke, or whatever. it's all in good fun and I'm not telling you how you should or shouldn't live.

This kids is what a Trainwreck looks like

What a dick. Jeez. Why is he your friend?

Tiaaa_16 24

I have to agree with your date it was rude of you to not tell your friend to leave.

Yes. I think this FML belongs to the date more than OP.

If it happens again, you can say, "Hey, we're on a date right now, let's catch up later."

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No, using gay to describe something you don't like or find distasteful does in fact make it derogatory because the alternate definition for gay is happy.

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I'm reading all of moondog's comments in the voice of Sheldon Cooper. Makes everything better.

That seems like an insult to Sheldon.

Calling something dislikable "gay" is saying indirectly, homosexuality is wrong. You were wrong for your joke, no matter your stance. I am a gay male, and have been the victim of rampant homophobia. What you said was very homophobic and offensive, and no amount of context will change that

Yeah, so using that logic, I guess I can say your comments suck as much as your mom did last night. Remember, it's only derogatory if you think your mom is a bad person.

shepardkinz 19

If you were on a date, then you should have told your friend that it was nice to see him, but you'd have to hang out with him at another time. It was rude of you to invite someone else along.

It sounds like the friend invited himself along, which is really rude. I don't know why OP or her date didn't say that they're on a date and that OP and Friend will have to hang out another time.

shepardkinz 19

92, that's why you tell them no? Pretty sure this was a case of OP trying to be nice and not having enough respect for their date to actually tell the person no.

Apologize to your boyfriend, and try it again. Tell your friend to stay out of your next date.

You sound completely oblivious OP. Oblivious to your date's feelings, oblivious to the incredible rudeness of your supposed friend, and so oblivious to your friends feelings that you even get his sexual orientation wrong. Open your eyes once in a while.

If he was both of you and your dates friend why couldn't he say anything unless he did and you kept insisting that he tag along

It was not only rude of you to invite your friend, but it was rude of your 'friend' to insist on coming -and for him to use the, "I'm gay so I won't be a distraction," as an reason. You should apologize to your date and think of talking to your friend about boundaries.

Where does it say he used "I'm gay so I won't be a distraction"? Seems like op has just been assuming he was gay.

Oh, I got the impression that he lied about being gay to both of them. That's why OP had no issue with him coming on the date because he wouldn't try anything with her. Well, it was still rude of her to do that to her date.

M3DO 24

Well gay or not you shouldn't tag a long on someone's date unless there's special situation and both parties are cool with it