Today, I grounded my daughter for putting play doh in the toaster. She's 17 and got into Columbia early admissions. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my daughter put a doll in the microwave "to keep her warm". She's 17. FML
Today, I asked my 18 year-old daughter to buy half a dozen donuts. When she brought them over, I opened the box and discovered the dozen donuts were all cut in half. She just got accepted into a prestigious private university. FML
Today, I left my daughter with a babysitter for the first time. When I came home, my microwave was ruined because they had attempted to heat cans of Play-Doh as a science experiment. FML
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Today, my sister smashed a cup on my head because I told her she couldn't borrow one of my necklaces since she lost one and stole another. I was grounded for "antagonizing" her into doing it. FML
Today, my mom tried to ground me. In the apartment that I own. Because I didn't eat enough of the dinner that I'd made. FML
Today, my 17 year-old daughter told me she was going to bake a cake. When she finished, she offered me some, but it was crunchy. I asked her why and she said the recipe said to put eggs in. She put them in whole. FML
Today, my daughter is too crafty for her own good: she found out I was planning on driving her to her first date to meet a boy, so she let the air out of my car tyres, removed my bike chain, and even stole my bus pass. I taught her well. Well played daughter, well played. FML
Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML
Today, I told my mom about the couple of times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML
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Top comments
ClaireXX 0
I think that's like when people are really intelligent academically but lack some common sense...
Juggalette_623 9
.....Must resist the urge to put play doh in the toaster >.>
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Comments (149)
Rial13_fml 0
Then cut her some slack for being frigging awesome! She probably didn't have much of a childhood because she was too busy studying to get into Columbia early so you'd be happy.
FockinA 0
Not a good advert for Columbia lmao. How did she ever finish pre-school? lol
HeyThereGorgeous 0
Hey, 17 year oldsters have to experiment and have some fun too! (;
lauren_e21 0
okay, if you're talking about Columbia University in NY, i have no opinion. butttt... if you mean Columbia College Chicago, of COURSE they accepted her. they accept everyone. She'll probably be regarded as a creative genius in po-mo performance art. She should probably apply to the School of the Art Institute though, I hear those kids put play-doh in toasters all the damn time.
volkster644 0
omg can't stop laughing!
luv_luv_lollipop 0
it's 2 true I lack vry much in the common sense category but not as bad as putting play doh in a toaster
persephone28 15
she was probably drunk.
stevenmx86 8
I think if I were looking for a school, I would avoid columbia after reading this fml... They obviously let anyone in..
Staige40 0
Was probably deprived of a child hood.
taytoc 10
ooh girls.. they just wanna have fun