Today, I woke up to a text from my boyfriend that said, "Dude, I think she knows I'm going to break up with her." FML

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after he received a text with a bunch of hearts on it. After arguing, turns out it was from me. FML

What?

Today, I was woken up by an overly sappy good morning text from my boyfriend, complete with kissy-face images. Before I could text him back, he sent a follow-up. "Oops. Wrong person." Wait, what? FML

Today, I texted my boyfriend, saying, "Hi." His response was, "I got your best friend pregnant." FML

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to surprise him with breakfast only to find that his other girlfriend had beat me to it. FML

Bumped down

Today, I saw a message on my boyfriend's phone from one of his friends, saying I was a downgrade from his ex. FML

Today, my boyfriend complained that we may not work out because I'm "just too needy". I'd woken up early and texted him "good morning" while he was trying to sleep. FML

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. He dumped me because apparently now there is "too much competition". FML