Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML
Today, my orthodontist thought it would be a good idea to put braces on the teeth in the very back. One bracket popped off twice, after which he shoved a metal band in my mouth onto one of my teeth, cutting my gums, and causing gushing blood. Now, I can’t eat anything unless it’s baby food and I have a lisp. FML
Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist to have my braces worked on. I accidentally swallowed some of the cleaning solution she used. She told me it would probably give me an upset stomach. Apparently, an upset stomach and crapping your pants means the same thing to an orthodontist. FML
Today, at the dentist, the new, rather airy assistant went to prep me for an extraction. She began pulling on something in my mouth, and a moment later, I felt intense pain and then the wetness of blood. She was trying to pull out "that weird wire thing". In other words, my permanent retainer. FML
Today, I went to see my orthodontist. He informed me that I have an underbite and I will probably need braces again. I just had them taken off last year, after five and a half years of oral hell. FML
Today, at the dentist, I was trying to make myself comfortable while he did his thing to my teeth. While my mouth was full of tools, he asked, “So how’s your day going so far?” My reply came out as, “Mrrgh purr blobby noff nay blobby blobby.” The dentist laughed and said, “I was kidding, you’re not supposed to talk right now.” FML
Today, I went to the orthodontist. No biggie, of course. I know the drill, so I didn’t think twice before letting the doctor stick his gloved hands into my mouth. His warm, wet, gloved hands. What the fuck??? FML
Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML
Today, I had a dentist appointment in which a nurse numbed my mouth. After coming home, I took a nap in which I unknowing bit through my top lip. I physically can't speak. FML
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Top comments
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Preposterous!
whirlednews 8
Why is it always the P that stimulates gag reflexes?
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Comments (106)
loserman67 36
If your luck is anything like mine, your mother's name begins with a "P", your dad's name begins with a "P", your dog's name begins with a "P", your street name begins with a "P", your town name begins with a "P", your name begins with a "P" and tonight you're going to want pizza for dinner and you're going to be polite and say "please". Hang in there O.P.
raesos91 26
ah ha ha! I dare you to watch Mr. Popper's penguins & repeat the script, word for word xD
kennaem1 11
It would suck if your name was Priscilla Penelope Popper
kinky44 28
And not because you can't pronounce P's
perdix 31
On the plus side, this will train you to control your gag reflex. Once you master this skill, you'll be popular with people possessing P's pleased by your palpably prodigious performance ;)
leadawg75 12
Everybody, the amazing perdix is back!
perdix 31
#63, thank you! I locked up mediocre perdix in the shed, but soon enough he'll be back! amazing perdix will have to hide -- threesome jokes are like Kryptonite to me -- and mediocre perdix throws them around like plastic beads at Mardi Gras!
The_Honey_Badger 17
Ouch. I simply cannot imagine life without P. ...The letter!!
smottpoker 7
I see what you did there ;)
galefrog 3
Yeah...lets work on your gag reflex ;)
ulissey_fml 22
Poor OP ,you deserve to get 3, 14159 YDI.
Pleonasm 36
--'
RedPillSucks 33
Life of Pi ??
BuckNekkid 22
stop putting 'p's in your mouth
PunkySpunky78 15
But purple popicles are so yummy
PunkySpunky78 15
But purple popsicles are so yummy
5t3ff1k4h 47
Don't talk to anyone named Penelope for a while.
perdix 31
Stupid orthodontist! Where are you going to find a thesaurus -- they went extinct about 70 million years ago!