Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML
Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
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Top comments
mubaki 18
My colonoscopy results showed that I had crohn's disease. If you're unhappy with yours, let's trade
yrkamurka 4
What what in the butt.
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Comments (203)
starbucksguy 16
Shit one...
starbucksguy 16
"And this is a picture of my duodenum..."
ballerinaaub 17
That's through an endoscopy where you can see that.
peterlikes 3
Hopefully you enjoyed the surgilube jelly that was shoved up your tight asshole!!!
PixelNoob 11
I feel your pain, OP, both figuratively and literally. They put me through all sorts of unpleasant tests just to say, "Hell if I know!" Now I just get terribly sick for a few days out of the blue, and there seems to be nothing I can do about it. Fun stuff, huh? :/
dmangrum0406 1
Did they check your gallbladder? Ask for a Hidascan. Or at the very least, an ultrasound of your gallbladder. I was sick constantly for over a year, always thought it was a bug and I had a weak immune system. Turned out I had gallbladder sludge that finally was discovered after I had a gallstone. Hidascan showed my gb function at 22% and I had it removed 3 weeks later. SOOOO much better!!!
Penguin1942 0
I was going to make a gay joke here, butt **** it.
tinkx22 6
Would u have been happy if there was something wrong?? Get over it ur lucky to be healthy
11mandy80 6
I'm not sure if that would be a fml or ydi?
LesCDeal 6
You got peace of mind! That's priceless!
shrdlu 28
I'm due for my first colonoscopy soon. I'm really hoping for the same results you got from yours.
JesseC81 1
I'm sure many people would be over the moon happy to get your results! Suck it up, would you rather have cancer?
ShyAnn29 15
When I was newly diagnosed with what I have (age 13) I was so frustrated because they didn't, and still don't know a lot about it, anyways I asked if it was cancer, and my surgeon said that he wished it was, because they know how to treat that, and they know what to treat that with. My problem, they don't really know what to do, so in some ways I think it would have been better/easier if I had cancer.