Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML
Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mubaki 18
My colonoscopy results showed that I had crohn's disease. If you're unhappy with yours, let's trade
yrkamurka 4
What what in the butt.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (203)
hoglover010 3
Don't say g-damn
gosrisky 1
Don't be a troll
NoahEibon 11
I would have gotten horny, I bet you did ;)
dmangrum0406 1
Someone might have mentioned this, but have them do an Upper Endoscopy. They did both procedures for me at the same time and we found out that I'm Celiac from the UE, but my colonoscopy was clear. Granted, another source of my abdominal pain was gallbladder disease, but the Upper GI made a difference as well.
Sneekert 4
You prefer they'd found cancer? Be happy!
BlueFlatts 20
So let me get thus straight, you're complaining that that part of your body is healthy? You got to start somewhere if you want to find the problem.
ChieSatonaka 2
Stop complaining, I had to have a colonoscopy at the age of 12. But yeah, my results were exactly like yours, it does suck :P
LumpLegacy 15
better to get cornholded for no reason then not get cornholded and find out you should a let someone finger your pooper
slimilicious 20
The same thing happened to me, OP. It's relieving knowing that they didn't find anything wrong, but also unsettling that you still can't find the source of the problem.
Dfma100 10
My colonoscopy results showed that I had crohn's disease. If you're unhappy with yours, let's tradeI might have copied someone else's comment but i have it to
SOILEDIT 51
At least you can cross off one possibility...