Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I felt a very sharp pain, like my appendix was going to burst. After going to the doctor, I was rushed to the hospital to get tests done. The doctors later told me there's nothing wrong, I was just constipated. I went to the hospital for them to basically tell me I'm full of shit. FML
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML
Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML
Today, my colon got perforated during a routine colonoscopy. Apparently, it's a rare complication and I have no legal recourse. So now I'll need to use a colostomy bag for the next 6 months until I can get surgery to fix their mistake. FML
Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML
Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML
Today, I found out after a lot of panic and a visit to the gynecologist that the lump in my vagina isn't cancer. I was just constipated. FML
Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML
Today, I had my anus probed twice by two different doctors. I was diagnosed with hemorrhoids. I'm a 22 year old guy and have to schedule a colonoscopy for next week. I guess there's a first time for everything. FML
Today, I was informed by my proctologist that my colonoscopy has been rescheduled for my birthday. FML
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Top comments
mubaki 18
My colonoscopy results showed that I had crohn's disease. If you're unhappy with yours, let's trade
yrkamurka 4
What what in the butt.
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Comments (203)
comeatmebroo6254 1
Look at it this way, it's a whole lot better to find out nothing is wrong than to find out you have cancer or something fatal like that. Be thankful ! (:
mandadarling 10
No shit Sherlock... You should always try a colon cleanse before hand and see if it helps.
Yaen 18
A colon cleanse? You know that's fake medicine, right? Kids these days.
Ilikeurfmls 13
I had a pylip removed and it caused pain for weeks. You're really the one to complain here OP.
redstaylor 4
The same thing happened to me! Sucked!!
eccentrix 12
Today, my medical test results came back negative. FML
THE_A_TEEN 28
Today, I was raped in the Ass by a medical device. FML
3rdbass 9
Sounds like you enjoyed it when it happened.
haileyywhoaa 6
That scares me cause I go in for the same thing this week to find out why I'm having stomach pains.. Ugh.
br0ccoli 15
What were you hoping for?? Cancer? Be happy you're fine, OP. Only rich people can get sick and get treated without having to get a shit-ton of debt or sell an organ to the black market. So what if you got your booty hole molested by a plastic tube? You're healthy. Thank your lucky stars.
akle4163 8
I know how op feels. I've had chest pain since January...all sorts of horrible tests later I still don't know what's wrong with me.
RedPillSucks 33
Pictures, or it didn't happen. What? Too much?