Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's... - FML

By Dispute - 8/8/2011 05:30 - Canada

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

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Proactive

Caught red-handed

British Broadcasting Corporation

By wahwah - 23/10/2009 06:51 - United States

Today, I had to complete a project for my course in Italian. We had to write a little paragraph about a friend. I had to make one up. FML

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By POP101 - 5/2/2010 21:27 - Canada

Today, there was this girl in heels running in front of me at school, and she slipped on ice. Trying to be a hero, I dropped my backpack and ran up to help her, but ended up slipping and landing on her leg. As I walked back to my backpack, I found out I dropped my laptop and broke it. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/1/2017 18:25 - Australia - Brisbane

Growing old gracefully

Today, I found out that as I get closer to 40, I often need to wipe my arse when I fart. FML

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By runner - 14/11/2009 07:15 - United States

Today, I went for a run in a new pair of shoes that left me with huge blisters. As I finished cleaning them up so they could heal, I limped to my bed to take a nap. I was woken by the fire alarm. My building was having a drill and we couldn't use the elevators. I live on the 9th floor. FML

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By thankskimi - 15/3/2009 18:29 - United States

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

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By blood buddies - 3/7/2014 17:53 - United States - Milford

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

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By ClosetMishap - 10/11/2009 16:25 - Canada

Today, I told my friends I had been hiding something that I wanted to come clean on. My one friend responds by saying, "FINALLY you come out of the closet. It's about time." I'm not gay. I was just going to tell them my parents were getting a divorce. FML

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By Swedishsummer - 8/5/2016 21:54 - Sweden - Floda

Today, we finally got some signs of summer in Sweden and I went to hang out in the sun with some friends. I was wearing sunglasses so I only put sunscreen on my nose and forehead. I now have a dick-shaped area in my face where I didn't completely burn my face off. FML

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By apple - 28/2/2010 18:57 - United States

Today, I had to clean out my room because I was having a sleepover. Only, I've not been in here for months since I've spent every night in my mom's room because I'm too scared to sleep alone. FML

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By h - 20/12/2018 00:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my three year old daughter pointed at an African-American girl and yelled out “She’s ugly because she’s black!” Me and my wife got dirty looks for the entire rest of our meal. We have no idea where she learned that. FML

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By fgbh456 - 28/12/2011 00:48 - United States

Today, I confronted my mom about her drinking problems. After I blurted everything out, she completely denied it. She did this as she was drinking a huge cup full of vodka. FML

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By lemongrab - 18/5/2014 14:14 - Canada

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/1/2016 05:05 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I found out if a tree falls in the forest and there's nobody around, it does in fact make a sound, and also $5,000 worth of damage to your truck. FML

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By ElleSavage - 26/5/2018 01:30

Today, I finally found a dress I'd been missing for months. It was in a casket, on my recently deceased cousin. FML

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By - 25/1/2019 20:00

Today, I called 911 and got taken to hospital via ambulance after a suicide attempt. When I called my mom, the first thing she asked was, "How much is the ambulance going to cost?" FML

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By Indianagirl94 - 29/10/2012 22:22 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/1/2014 04:21 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

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By dude, where's my balls? :( - 22/12/2012 20:25 - United States - Anchorage

Today, my mom and I went to Best Buy for some Christmas shopping. She picked up some presents for me and told me not to look at what she was buying. When we got to the register, she didn't have enough money, and I ended up having to buy my own presents. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, my boyfriend's mother found out that I'm three months pregnant. She told my boyfriend to put it up for adoption, and now wants a paternity test. FML

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By skipper - 12/2/2009 17:25 - United States

Today, I listened to my room mate having sex from 3 A.M. until 6 A.M. When I looked over at my girlfriend, who must have thought I was sleeping, I noticed she was masturbating. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/10/2010 22:52 - United States

Today, my mother gave me an early Christmas present; a Bissell mop so I can "do a better job" when I "clean her floors". FML

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By qhu - 23/10/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I was disciplining one of my students for behavior, and he started to roll his eyes every time I was trying to teach the lesson. So I threatened to write him up. After looking closely at the student, I realized he has a lazy roaming eye. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2010 18:50 - Canada

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend, the love of my life. Actually I ran into a billboard for her college, where apparently she is the new "poster girl" for their advertising campaign. I have now seen her on 2 billboards, a newspaper ad and a bus. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/7/2009 12:44 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

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By Nebraskawreck - 22/11/2018 13:30

Today, my husband left our untrained puppy out of its kennel when he left for work. I got home and all of the baby books my parents just bought for us that were on the coffee table in a backpack were completely destroyed, along with the bag and parts of our wall. FML

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By gaggin - 26/12/2012 19:30 - United States - Beverly Hills

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/8/2013 10:49 - Australia - Redfern

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

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By Overworked - 30/9/2013 05:01 - United States

Today, I realized how bad my insomnia had got when I tried answering my water bottle when my alarm went off. FML

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By skinnyguy23 - 10/9/2014 22:40 - United States - Briarcliff Manor

Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/9/2011 05:47 - United States

Today, I'm being admitted to the hospital for severe exhaustion. Why am I exhausted? For spending 12 hours at the hospital while my sister gave birth. The same hospital I'm being admitted to. FML

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By jag talar - 7/9/2011 00:01 - Canada

Today, I came home to visit my family after a year at college. Expecting to impress them, I proudly informed them that I now speak fluent Swedish. Imagine my surprise when my mother said, "That's a useless language" and everyone agreed. FML

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By Cheated - 3/8/2010 04:07 - Canada

Today, my wife of 2 years told me she was pregnant, after we've been trying for ages. Excited, about to call my parents, my wife then told me, "Don't get your hopes up it might not be yours, the father could be 5 other guys." And then asked me what I'd like for dinner. FML

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By rert - 16/7/2019 06:00

Today, after my girlfriend told her mother that she is seeing a different guy than me because her mother doesn’t approve of me, I learned that she is also seeing said guy. FML

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By OhPleaseNo - 7/4/2020 14:00 - OhPleaseNo

We could be heroes

Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML

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By babysitter93 - 22/7/2009 12:17 - United States

Today, I was fired from the babysitting job I have had for 2 years. I thought maybe the mother had found out that I sometimes let her kids stay up late and have extra sweets. The real reason, as she told me, was that she didn't want her kids loving anyone more than they love her. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/6/2010 23:06 - United States

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

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By anon - 20/8/2012 05:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend got a hotel room with a jacuzzi, drinks, and tickets to Six Flags for my birthday. He is currently passed out drunk on the other side of the bed, cursing me out in his sleep. FML

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By anon - 21/11/2012 19:34 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

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By whoops - 25/5/2014 21:23 - United States - Spring Hill

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

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By sabadaba - 19/6/2011 17:51 - United States

Today, at the DMV, I was told to push my forehead against a vision testing device on the counter to activate a blinking light. When nothing happened, the employee started yelling for me to push harder. I tried again, only to knock the whole thing into her. FML

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Top comments

By Jacobt24 | 19

#3063382 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:06

They didn't figure that out themselves for at least an hour? They better pay you good money

By sxe_beast | 11

#3063527 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:41

TV WHY YOU NO TURN ON? *smashes buttons on remote*

WHY YOU NOT WORK? *pushes TV button*

WHAT THE FUCK *ragesthrowsremotecontrolthoughwindow*

*calls support people* WHY YOU NO FIX TV? WHY TV STILL BROKED? I WANT THIS FIXED NAAAAAAAAOOOOO! YOUR TECHNICIAN FAIL AT LIFE! HE MORON!

*op drives to house plugs in cord*

:|

Comments

By Jacobt24 | 19

#3063382 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:06

They didn't figure that out themselves for at least an hour? They better pay you good money

Reply

Gourmet_Taco | 0

#3063418 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:19

You kicked the cord out. Should have roundhouse kicked the moron who couldn't figure that out lol

Reply

imustbeinsane | 2

#3063458 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:28

on the bright side op must have felt so superior next to those people

Reply

Jacobt24 | 19

#3063477 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:32

Hell I feel superior to them right now

Reply

genesisnirvana | 11

#3063498 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:36

I would have slapped the shit out of them, then demand that they give me gas money

Reply

YourEvilHero | 12

#3063668 - Monday 8 August 2011 13:36

typical Canadian

Reply

ktateprado | 0

#3063855 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:40

^ lol

Reply

zendaddy0 | 0

#3068676 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 5:41

and THAT'S why electricians and plumbers charge so much

Reply

ryanst | 7

#3068865 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 6:17

My math and tech teacher from middle school told us that the first step to troubleshooting is to check if it's plugged in. He used to be a tech repairman for hire, who would charge $75 just to walk in and plug in the "broken" electronic.

Although he also used cat poop and the theory of "stick snowmen" to teach Algebra..

Reply

KayDayParade | 0

#3069538 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:02

how is this FML posted twice?

Reply

rulerofwow | 0

#3069771 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:32

I guess that's why they pay you guys the big bucks, or at least they should, that level of stupidity deserves ALOT of money on a day-to-day basis.

By joanjett | 0

#3063391 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:10

Are your customers mentally disabled?

Reply

kings1fan | 6

#3063525 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:41

What the hell where they still doing there for an hour after you fixed there tv for them?? Hahaha

Reply

Synapse_fml | 0

#3063767 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:10

Naw a mentally retarded person would take a little over 20min... It must have been a woman.

Reply

pivotmasterDM1 | 0

#3067699 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 2:35

First, your pic rules. Tf2 FTW. Secondly, they must be or at least very lazy to not check the plug before they call back. I hope OP got paid for it though.

By TheRealBruce | 12

#3063402 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:13

Oh Noo!

Reply

cupcakesnpot | 9

#3063618 - Monday 8 August 2011 13:13

wah nay!!

Reply

ktateprado | 0

#3063857 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:42

Herp Derp!!!

Reply

joanjett | 0

#3067224 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:09

When I read your comment the voice in my head was the heavys voice from tf2. OH NOOOO

By Skulll | 13

#3063403 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:14

*facepalm*

By perdix | 29

#3063435 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:24

Your customers must think your some sort of jeenyus, cuz you can figure out the complicated shit.

Reply

larisonr | 4

#3063878 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:47

Damn! I've been spelling it genius for years now.. Don't I feel stoopid.

Reply

HahaNOTFunnyx_x | 0

#3064044 - Monday 8 August 2011 15:50

Did You Really Just Spell Genius Like That ? ._.

Reply

wmsdubstep | 6

#3065468 - Monday 8 August 2011 18:43

Wow. English department has spelt genius wrong for all these years, time to send them an e-mail!

Reply

SugarRushxx | 0

#3067275 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:18

Did you really just capitalize every fucking word?

Reply

HomeAl0ne | 20

#3069240 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 7:50

Hey, I just figured out that if I slam my forehead against my desk more than a few times it hurts.

By StopDropNRoll | 11

#3063441 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:25

And your co-worker/ boss or whoever called didn't figure it out? Smh

By Legendslayer222 | 26

#3063469 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:29

And what did the power cord do to deserve being kicked out? D:

Reply

ktateprado | 0

#3063864 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:44

Slept with his wife.

By sxe_beast | 11

#3063527 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:41

TV WHY YOU NO TURN ON? *smashes buttons on remote*

WHY YOU NOT WORK? *pushes TV button*

WHAT THE FUCK *ragesthrowsremotecontrolthoughwindow*

*calls support people* WHY YOU NO FIX TV? WHY TV STILL BROKED? I WANT THIS FIXED NAAAAAAAAOOOOO! YOUR TECHNICIAN FAIL AT LIFE! HE MORON!

*op drives to house plugs in cord*

:|

Reply

ktateprado | 0

#3064023 - Monday 8 August 2011 15:41

All caps rage!!!

Reply

neonblue120 | 6

#3067483 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:59

I always read comment of the y u no guy in an Asian accent... racist I know. :(

Reply

HomeAl0ne | 20

#3069251 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 7:52

Funny, I read all caps in a Hulk voice.

Reply

Experteric | 12

#6557458 - Saturday 12 March 2016 15:58

this deserves endless likes. not just 60

By catnip1997 | 0

#3063529 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:42

you don't even know what a power cord does? And you're an electrician???

Reply

Casserr | 0

#3064450 - Monday 8 August 2011 16:49

I think you misunderstood...

By caseyy17 | 0

#3063533 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:42

haha, oh. what if you knocked out another cord?