Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's... - FML

By Dispute - Canada

Today, I was driving home from a long day at work fixing people's electronics. When I got home, I got a call from work saying I needed to go back and help a customer with their TV again. When I got there, after an hour of driving, I realized I'd accidentally kicked the power cord out. FML

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Season finale

Serious times

Headache

By littledonny

Today, I went to school wearing the same jacket I had gone hiking in the previous day. When I found out that I had left my 2" pocket knife in the pocket I immediately turned it in to the front office. They promptly had me arrested for bringing a weapon on campus. FML

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By thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I realized that not everyone in the office needs to hear my explosive diarrhea through the a/c vents that interconnect through the entire building. I think an email was sent around, describing people's reactions in detail. FML

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By Angry and Confused - United States - Reno

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

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By retail hell - United States - Waterbury

Today, a customer berated me and told me to stop whining because I have to work on the weekend. What did I do to deserve this? I said, "Hi, how are you doing today?" FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got a call from my 14-year-old step-daughter while I was out. She'd left nail polish in her pocket when she'd tried to wash the clothes. I now have hot pink streaks on most of my work clothes. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my twin sons have decided to forego the toilet, and instead poop in random places around the house. FML

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By ThePopeMan - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML

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By unacceptable - Australia

Today, my mum thought it was perfectly acceptable to post a status on Facebook about how well she is healing up after her hemorrhoid surgery, and tag me in it. FML

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By dork - United States

Today, I found out my class was attempting to raise money for me through a bake sale because some girl spread a false rumor that I was raped and that my father was going to disown me. The whole school believes it and my biology teacher took me aside and asked if I needed someone to confide in. FML

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By Fuck - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

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By Guaranteed my ar*e - 15/11/2020 23:01 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Fishy anxiety

Today, I'm waiting for some live fish to be delivered for my tank. They were guaranteed by 1 p.m., so I took the morning off work. I've been unable to concentrate and have bee jumping every time a car door slams, so anxious to get them. It's now 4 p.m. FML

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By Loose Goose

Today, I went on a coffee date. It turned out to be a mistake - not because he was bad, but because I forgot how much coffee upsets my stomach. Yup, it makes me need to poop, and I did. In my jeans. As he drove me home. Not quite the "run" of fun we’d planned. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Princeton

Today, I left my house angrily after arguing over the Super Bowl. I guess karma gets nasty when you wish a member of the opposing team would break his back. I fell down the stairs. FML

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By Its_Sinon - United States - Oceanside

Today, I got married. After the ceremony, my sister asked to talk to me. I followed her and she told me that we are no longer related because we don't have the same last name anymore. FML

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By Anonymous - Romania - Cluj-napoca

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

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By ozzy - United States - Campbell

Today, was trying to have an adult conversation with my fiancée but she's always on her phone, so I sent her a text message instead. Relationship goals. FML

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By MID12 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out I'm being evicted from my apartment on my birthday. FML

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By Hypocrite

Today, after giving my husband a ton of crap about the speeding ticket he got last year, I got a speeding ticket. FML

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By ohemmgeee - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend purposely makes me cry because it makes him feel special. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/7/2020 02:00

Goldfinger

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

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By Anonymous - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, my wife paid a man with a fake crystal and an even faker accent to investigate the creakiness of our apartment complex floors. $300 later, she told me he'd found a "sinkhole of chi energy" and that the building may collapse if we don't pay him to disperse it. I want a divorce. FML

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By deservedly - Canada - Calgary

Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me and my boyfriend having sex. She was completely embarrassed (as was I) and she flew out of the room. My boyfriend, on the other hand, still wanted to finish. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

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By drunkluv - Australia

Today, my girlfriend openly admitted to me that she wouldn't have gone out with me if she hadn't been drunk. FML

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By EPICfml. - United States

Today, my dad woke me up at 6 told me to take a shower and drove me to school only to say "just kidding, happy snowday!" FML

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By chopchop - 25/12/2019 01:00

Bad choice

Today, I went to a different hairdresser than usual to get 5 inches off my hair and bangs. He ended up charging me half price, saying, "Don't worry, we all make mistakes." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why two of my friends race downstairs to each other to the cafeteria everyday at lunch; apparently there's only one free seat at the table with the rest of their friends, and the loser has to eat lunch with me. FML

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By Anonymous - Canada - Bedford

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

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By Nikki

Today, I walked into my bathroom to my boyfriend bragging about how much better his butt looked than mine, all while wearing my jeans. FML

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By shescomfortablynumb - United States

Today, I had a 3rd date with a great guy. Over dinner, he told me that he wanted to see more of me. When I agreed, he pulled out his schedule book and started to tell me he was dating 5 other women besides me. He then told me what week in the "rotation" would be mine. He wasn't kidding. FML

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By abc - Pakistan

Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I was going for my morning walk, when a guy in a massive truck drove up beside me, with a kid no more than 4 riding shotgun. I lost my faith in humanity when his tiny voice yelled through the window, "Nice ass!" FML

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By awkwardencounters - United States - Belleville

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

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By fuck's sake - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went to a karaoke bar for the first time. I'd never sung in front of others, but I gave it a try. I was accused of being way too drunk and was asked to leave. I didn't get kicked out in the end, but I was told that my singing voice sounds like a dying goat. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML

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By ohcrap - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who's a bit older than me, introduced me to his daughter. I was expecting a toddler. Nope, she's a year older than me. FML

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By lonely loser - United States - Seattle

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

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Top comments

By Jacobt24 | 19

#3063382 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:06

They didn't figure that out themselves for at least an hour? They better pay you good money

By sxe_beast | 11

#3063527 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:41

TV WHY YOU NO TURN ON? *smashes buttons on remote*

WHY YOU NOT WORK? *pushes TV button*

WHAT THE FUCK *ragesthrowsremotecontrolthoughwindow*

*calls support people* WHY YOU NO FIX TV? WHY TV STILL BROKED? I WANT THIS FIXED NAAAAAAAAOOOOO! YOUR TECHNICIAN FAIL AT LIFE! HE MORON!

*op drives to house plugs in cord*

:|

COMMENTS

By Jacobt24 | 19

#3063382 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:06

They didn't figure that out themselves for at least an hour? They better pay you good money

Reply

Gourmet_Taco | 0

#3063418 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:19

You kicked the cord out. Should have roundhouse kicked the moron who couldn't figure that out lol

Reply

imustbeinsane | 2

#3063458 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:28

on the bright side op must have felt so superior next to those people

Reply

Jacobt24 | 19

#3063477 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:32

Hell I feel superior to them right now

Reply

genesisnirvana | 11

#3063498 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:36

I would have slapped the shit out of them, then demand that they give me gas money

Reply

YourEvilHero | 12

#3063668 - Monday 8 August 2011 13:36

typical Canadian

Reply

ktateprado | 0

#3063855 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:40

^ lol

Reply

zendaddy0 | 0

#3068676 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 5:41

and THAT'S why electricians and plumbers charge so much

Reply

ryanst | 7

#3068865 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 6:17

My math and tech teacher from middle school told us that the first step to troubleshooting is to check if it's plugged in. He used to be a tech repairman for hire, who would charge $75 just to walk in and plug in the "broken" electronic.

Although he also used cat poop and the theory of "stick snowmen" to teach Algebra..

Reply

KayDayParade | 0

#3069538 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:02

how is this FML posted twice?

Reply

rulerofwow | 0

#3069771 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 9:32

I guess that's why they pay you guys the big bucks, or at least they should, that level of stupidity deserves ALOT of money on a day-to-day basis.

By joanjett | 0

#3063391 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:10

Are your customers mentally disabled?

Reply

kings1fan | 6

#3063525 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:41

What the hell where they still doing there for an hour after you fixed there tv for them?? Hahaha

Reply

Synapse_fml | 0

#3063767 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:10

Naw a mentally retarded person would take a little over 20min... It must have been a woman.

Reply

pivotmasterDM1 | 0

#3067699 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 2:35

First, your pic rules. Tf2 FTW. Secondly, they must be or at least very lazy to not check the plug before they call back. I hope OP got paid for it though.

By TheRealBruce | 12

#3063402 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:13

Oh Noo!

Reply

cupcakesnpot | 9

#3063618 - Monday 8 August 2011 13:13

wah nay!!

Reply

ktateprado | 0

#3063857 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:42

Herp Derp!!!

Reply

joanjett | 0

#3067224 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:09

When I read your comment the voice in my head was the heavys voice from tf2. OH NOOOO

By Skulll | 13

#3063403 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:14

*facepalm*

By perdix | 29

#3063435 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:24

Your customers must think your some sort of jeenyus, cuz you can figure out the complicated shit.

Reply

larisonr | 4

#3063878 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:47

Damn! I've been spelling it genius for years now.. Don't I feel stoopid.

Reply

HahaNOTFunnyx_x | 0

#3064044 - Monday 8 August 2011 15:50

Did You Really Just Spell Genius Like That ? ._.

Reply

wmsdubstep | 6

#3065468 - Monday 8 August 2011 18:43

Wow. English department has spelt genius wrong for all these years, time to send them an e-mail!

Reply

SugarRushxx | 0

#3067275 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:18

Did you really just capitalize every fucking word?

Reply

HomeAl0ne | 20

#3069240 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 7:50

Hey, I just figured out that if I slam my forehead against my desk more than a few times it hurts.

By StopDropNRoll | 11

#3063441 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:25

And your co-worker/ boss or whoever called didn't figure it out? Smh

By Legendslayer222 | 26

#3063469 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:29

And what did the power cord do to deserve being kicked out? D:

Reply

ktateprado | 0

#3063864 - Monday 8 August 2011 14:44

Slept with his wife.

By sxe_beast | 11

#3063527 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:41

TV WHY YOU NO TURN ON? *smashes buttons on remote*

WHY YOU NOT WORK? *pushes TV button*

WHAT THE FUCK *ragesthrowsremotecontrolthoughwindow*

*calls support people* WHY YOU NO FIX TV? WHY TV STILL BROKED? I WANT THIS FIXED NAAAAAAAAOOOOO! YOUR TECHNICIAN FAIL AT LIFE! HE MORON!

*op drives to house plugs in cord*

:|

Reply

ktateprado | 0

#3064023 - Monday 8 August 2011 15:41

All caps rage!!!

Reply

neonblue120 | 6

#3067483 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 1:59

I always read comment of the y u no guy in an Asian accent... racist I know. :(

Reply

HomeAl0ne | 20

#3069251 - Tuesday 9 August 2011 7:52

Funny, I read all caps in a Hulk voice.

Reply

Experteric | 12

#6557458 - Saturday 12 March 2016 15:58

this deserves endless likes. not just 60

By catnip1997 | 0

#3063529 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:42

you don't even know what a power cord does? And you're an electrician???

Reply

Casserr | 0

#3064450 - Monday 8 August 2011 16:49

I think you misunderstood...

By caseyy17 | 0

#3063533 - Monday 8 August 2011 12:42

haha, oh. what if you knocked out another cord?