Today, I got into an argument with my wife over how she spends too much time with her gay best friend. Now she says that if I want to ever get intimate with her again, I'll have to let her watch as I give him a striptease. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my wife demanded that I cut all ties with my best friend, just because she doesn't like the jokes he tells. Now she's bitching that she's upset because his wife, who she works with, is talking about her. FML
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so having a friend nearby is a huge win for her. What my wife doesn’t know is that her new friend keeps hitting on me, and has already sent me unsolicited nudes. FML
Today, my wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. I’ve tried to reignite her interest lately, which culminated in an argument where she gave me permission to go out and shag other women. We might as well divorce at this point if she’s going to say things like that. FML
Today, I had threesome with my wife and her best friend. Now my wife is mad at me for sleeping with her best friend. FML
Today, my husband and I got into a fight about his pervert friend who regularly shows blatant disrespect for our marriage, including sending me inappropriate texts. Apparently this friend should have my full trust, and apparently I am the one with the issue for not excusing his bad behavior. FML
Today, my husband told me to stop being friends with my best guy friend because I won't let him hang out with his ex. FML
Today, after getting sick of my boyfriend pestering me for a threesome, I invited a male friend over. My boyfriend strongly declined, because, "Hell no, I ain’t gay." So this man expects me to be a lesbian, but him being gay is a problem. FML
Today, I found out that my wife has been having an affair with the guy who's been trying to get our relationship back on track. FML
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, I had to warn the decorator we hired to stop being inappropriate with my wife or I’d fire his ass. Turns out not only is he gay, like super gay with his husband on Facebook, he’s also my wife’s old college buddy. He started crying on our sofa and my wife hit me with her handbag. FML
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Top comments
k8izgr8_fml 0
well OP what's more important to you? your pride and masculinity, or getting laid? START UNDRESSING
Jakesterk96 8
Get a lesbian and make her your best friend, problem solved.
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Comments (250)
hateevryone 15
get a lesbian best friend and see how she feels about it.
tattooedcowboy 6
Face it shes cheat with him who is not gay
OhHushDear 11
#37 I am confused by your choice of words. "Get a lesbian." Like they're an item, and not a person. Nice.
OhHushDear 11
#37 I am confused by your choice of words. "Get a lesbian." As if a lesbian is an item, and not a person. Nice.
RamenForTheWin 10
What the **** are you saying? Do you need a crash grammar course? Because I know just the guy for the job....
kyarush 10
That should be followed with "I want a divorce"
sandinthewaves 5
Do you know why divorce is so expensive? Because it's worth it!
loveyourhate 7
Do you know why people voted thumbs down on your comment? Cause it was idiotic.
yousodi 10
Lol it is true tho haha
TahoeFMler 22
My husband and I laugh and say that exact phrase to each other! Sorry some people don't get the joke!
loveyourhate 7
A woman's number one accessory is her gay bestfriend. :) but seriously.
btstig 11
That's strange because my wife's number one accessory is my dick, not a gay guy.
MurphyS94 4
Hm...I think my gay best friend would be slightly offended if I called him an 'accessory'...
emilyjgraham 34
I don't understand why everyone is saying about this being his wifes fantasy. I mean yes it might be but it sounds to me like she's just saying it for his comment about her and her best friend hanging out.
Akharr01 5
She could sell tickets and get some green!
b1gphil 6
Slap her in the mouth
KiddNYC1O 22
I agree. Violence is definitely the way to go......................
Shadow4i5 3
Hahaha well u shuldn't have been worried. It's let her hang w/ her girlfriends.....well sorta girlfriends
biggestfan23 11
Woahhh. Just play it out OP she will sooner or later become deprived and that's when you " take care" of here