Miscellaneous: Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me...

By ApparentlyBadDriver - 25/06/2015 10:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, I got into a fight with my parents when they called me a bad driver. Imagine their smugness when I had to call them two hours later and tell them that I drove into a pole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 691

You deserved it 24 736

Miscellaneous

Triage

Good kid

Compassionate management

By ams - 13/03/2010 01:23 - United States

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 459

You deserved it 4 336

By bethanygirl - 29/10/2011 19:46 - United States

Today, I had to cancel my birthday party because of snow. It's October. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 640

You deserved it 5 035

By Weddingbelles - 12/09/2016 15:52 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, at the end of my 10-hour shift, my manager made me count exactly how many business cards were left in inventory before I could leave. She didn't believe me when the number came to exactly 3000. She made me count them all again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 199

You deserved it 769

By Eyesore - 16/04/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I was walking back to my home in the city in the dark. I'm paranoid, so when I saw movement behind me I clutched my mace. The faster I walked, the closer the person seemed to be. I spun around and sprayed my attacker with mace. It was my shadow and the wind blew the mace back into eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 149

You deserved it 86 476

By morenita27 - 21/12/2010 01:52 - Canada

Today, a woman came to my counter and ordered 12 donuts. I said, "OK sure, a dozen donuts." She paused, looked at me with disgust and yelled, "I said 12, NOT a dozen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 406

You deserved it 4 059

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 19:04 - United States

Today, completely nude, I had to collect my clothes around the boy’s apartment I have been sleeping with for awhile. While his girlfriend watched to make sure I “got the fuck out.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 199

You deserved it 180 624

By BFfail - 15/08/2012 01:14 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's extended family for the first time. Her family kept telling her how much I looked and acted like her older brother and I'm guessing by the end of the day she agreed because now she pulls away and gags when I try to kiss her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 881

You deserved it 2 733

By Anonymous - 31/01/2014 16:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 844

You deserved it 4 521

By Anonymous - 31/12/2009 08:06 - United States

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 279

You deserved it 64 257

By Anonymous - 18/10/2015 17:00 - United States - Fort Myers

Today, I was at K-Mart and saw an exact copy of my engagement ring for twenty bucks. The same one that had supposedly been in my fiancé's family for generations, and worth thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 464

You deserved it 3 009

By pyrosythan - 20/07/2009 05:40 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend's dad chased me with a baseball bat because he found a pair of my boxers in her room. They were not there because I left them there, they were there because she stole them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 266

You deserved it 3 136

By not invited - 13/12/2015 01:13 - United States - Appleton

Today, a close friend told me she had no plans for her birthday. I found out she was lying when I had to serve her and 9 other mutual friends dinner at the restaurant I work at. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I wasn't invited or that none of them even remembered that I worked there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 929

You deserved it 1 579

By anon - 24/03/2012 03:51 - United States - Addison

Today, I went to a concert with my new boyfriend. I had a panic attack halfway through and an ambulance picked me up. My boyfriend met my parents for the first time drunk, in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 858

You deserved it 5 601

It's the most wonderful time of the year

By Demona666 - 06/12/2021 08:01

Today, I was in a car accident while driving to my brother's school to drop off some documents that he had to bring in, and forgot at home. While not even driving at 20 km/h, I started drifting on an icy spot. I hit a road sign and my car fell into a ditch. I probably have a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 72

By blarg - 30/01/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 961

You deserved it 27 451

By Anonymous - 16/05/2009 14:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my writing teacher entered in one of my paper grades wrong. After many emails, she said she can't change my grade unless I fax her the original. I need that grade fixed so I can keep my scholarship. I can’t find the paper anywhere. That one paper could cost me $30,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 687

You deserved it 8 641

By BookBabe - 25/03/2012 15:34 - United States - Panorama City

Today, I wore my new Brazilian thong bikini to the pool for the first time. I was lying face down feeling so sexy, until flies started buzzing my butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 252

You deserved it 37 830

You Muppet!

By Branski - 29/07/2011 00:27 - United States

Today, at a campfire, I whipped out my guitar to serenade this girl I like with a Nick Drake song. When I was done, she said it was nice, but that my singing voice sounded a bit like the Swedish Chef from the Muppet Show. A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 671

You deserved it 6 962

By theropod - 15/11/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, at 2 in the morning, a noisy work crew started up in the parking lot next to my apartment. What were they doing at that ungodly hour? Installing a light that now shines right into my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 504

You deserved it 2 047

By Quendolin - 09/11/2015 14:07 - Germany

Today, I put one of those checkout dividers in front of my groceries on the conveyor belt in the supermarket. The guy standing in front of me turned around, looked me straight in the eye and said "I don't trust you." as he put a second divider between our groceries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 799

You deserved it 2 562

By Anonymous - 23/03/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, I decided to play a joke on my boyfriend and planned to pretend that I found a thong in his gym bag. When he came home, I "confronted" him. After struggling through putting on my best face, he, unexpectedly confessed: "Look, babe, I'm sorry. It meant nothing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 452

You deserved it 94 431

By Anonymous - 04/10/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 387

You deserved it 3 564

By Anonymous - 07/12/2009 21:05 - Canada

Today, I signed up for a psych experiment. I was a damsel in distress on the side of the highway, but no one stopped. Back at the lab, another participant said a half dozen people helped her. The professor was testing how attractiveness effects altruism. I was the unattractive subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 311

You deserved it 3 669

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 15:41 - Australia

Today, I finally got the results of months of extensive psychological testing to determine why I did so well in my course but performed so terribly on the job. Turns out I'm autistic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 882

You deserved it 1 747

By PictureLess - 10/01/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I got home from a family trip to Disney World. I had taken nearly 300 photos of our trip on my new digital camera. As our car pulled into the driveway, I was using my camera to try to delete one unflattering shot of me. I accidentally deleted every picture off the memory card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 795

You deserved it 38 114

Stay away from us!

By KingSnow03 - 31/03/2020 20:00

Today, because I have a coughed a total of 2 times in a row, I'm now banned from seeing any of my family until I get tested for coronavirus. The earliest available appointment is May 3rd. Looks like quarantine is going to be a lot worse than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 613

You deserved it 186

By Noname - 07/02/2009 20:42 - United States

Today, my mom was telling me a funny story about when I was young. So I said 'yeah I was funny huh?' She replied 'Yep, I had a funny one and a pretty one'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 497

You deserved it 2 628

By Anonymous - 27/12/2010 00:45 - United States

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 459

You deserved it 37 336

By "burnuptowndow" - 30/09/2017 01:30

Today, we got a new boss. This would have been great if he knew how to do his job. I've spent the last week training a guy who hits on co-workers and gets paid twice as much as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 627

You deserved it 211

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 24/04/2015 17:39 - Qatar - Doha

Today, my boss's incompetent, lazy son got another raise. He only started working here five months ago. Since then he's been promoted twice and given a Bentley as a company car. All this while company profits are in the shitter and the rest of us are facing a wave of layoffs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 160

You deserved it 2 062

By Anonymous - 26/08/2013 20:17 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, half-way through my trip to Florida, I received a call from my friend of six years. "I sort of had sex with your girlfriend while you were gone." He said it "just sort of happened." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 965

You deserved it 4 580

By Confused and Disgusted - 23/02/2015 23:42 - United States - Sparta

Today, while at work, a customer came up to me, stuck his finger in my armpit, then licked his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 201

You deserved it 2 409

By aisbash - 01/09/2013 19:35 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was waitressing at work, when a woman decided to change her baby's nappy on a table. One moment I was asking her to leave, and the next, she was shoving a fully shat-out nappy into my hands. She asked me to get rid of it and fetch her baby wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 045

You deserved it 3 611

By no sleep for me - 08/01/2013 07:44

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 230

You deserved it 5 706

By Damnsoup - 03/07/2009 00:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my fiancé's house to have dinner with his family for the first time. Trying to be polite at the end of the meal I went to take the plates in to the kitchen. I overestimated how heavy the half-finished soup pot was, and threw soup all over myself and future mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 099

You deserved it 6 943

By Dumbblonde - 03/05/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, I was babysitting this little girl. She told me she wanted to go to the park so we did. When we were walking back, I was caring her on my back. When were almost at the door, she told me she had to go pee. I told her to hold it. As we were walking in the door I felt a warm spot on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 507

You deserved it 16 877

By Laura - 27/05/2014 15:58 - United States

Today, at school, I got seated in front of the resident creepy kid that everyone stayed away from. I was pretty relieved to get through most of the class with no incidents, until the bell rang and he tore out a chunk of my hair, yelling "DNA! DNA!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 330

You deserved it 4 122

By risingtide - 20/11/2018 15:30

Today, I reached my exam center late after taking the wrong metro twice, only to find out that I forgot my calculator at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 1 141

Tradwife expectations

By Anonymous - 10/04/2021 10:59

Today, the man I love and who loves me ended our relationship. Why? Because I want to work 3 days a week, which wouldn’t conform to the traditional gender roles he envisions his future wife having. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 171

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Top comments

mds9986 24

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:14

Well you kind of deserve it if you drove into a pole. Pay attention more at the wheel, it could be a person next time.

AC98 19

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:15

Their smugness was justified

mds9986 24

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:14

Well you kind of deserve it if you drove into a pole. Pay attention more at the wheel, it could be a person next time.

91hayek 31

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Thursday 25 June 2015 19:01

Come now, the polish ARE people. Poles get so much stick for nothing I swear smh.

AC98 19

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:15

Their smugness was justified

cebsvt 14

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Friday 26 June 2015 4:42

get rekt

lovelockdown23 23

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:16

There was a lesson here that you seem to have missed lol. especially since your username is "apparently" Bad driver.

Schala360 27

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:16

Next time listen to your parents, RSA ftw

gte225 11

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Friday 26 June 2015 1:02

RSA?

jerryj 27

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Friday 26 June 2015 7:37

Republic of South Africa

muarif 19

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:17

Remember kid, Mommy and daddy knows the best ;)

AddictGamer 16

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:43

Just because someone is a parent doesn't automatically justify them as a good and logical-determined person. There are plenty of molesters, psychos, and murderers that have children. Doesn't change them as a person.

Tthug 34

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Thursday 25 June 2015 19:43

He never said that all parents are decent folks. They've just had more life experience. Especially more driving experience. Obviously there are exceptions. But good to listen to your parents even if you choose not to agree with them. Because they've probably been through something similar. It's just the way people are.

Saikon1357 25

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:21

Get gud

jackipdoc 31

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:22

You completely deserved it.

alexanderavatar 24

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:25

ydi if i was ur parents i would be cheesed and bitch slap for driving into a pole of all things

Tournesol143 28

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Thursday 25 June 2015 18:26

I hope you're not injured OP - and no one else is either. I also hope that the fact you've written this down means you realise a lesson is here to be learned and it wasn't too costly. This time.