Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in three days. FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
What a brilliant plan. It's fool proof. Now you just have to bribe your parents and make sure they don't tell themselves or else you could be in a lot of trouble. Of course, you could also 'dispose' of them, but then how will you explain that when your parents start asking why they don't see themselves around anymore?
ajilon7 17
What did your parents say to that???
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Comments (102)
UmmOkThen 31
Did they keep your secret?
DrMario_ 16
Genius move.
flopstar 21
Next time if you drink past your limit, give your phone to a friend who is sober or under control.
Tarlachia 33
If you're past your limit, how can you trust your judgment of a friend to be sober enough?
dreamful_artist 14
How'd that work out for ya buddy.
Enslaved 38
"Can we forget about the things I said when I was drunk?" I've heard of drunk calling people, but it usually involves an ex and a ton of regrets but calling your parents!? Lol You are your own worst enemy. Drinking and your phone seem to be a tonic combo.
BBeffedmylife 28
I occasionally call my parents to tell them I miss them. I don't realize how I sound on the phone until my mom says "are you drunk?" Let's just say my husband holds my phone for me if I plan on drinking more than a couple drinks.
sdmarshall 2
Yes, Lit reference. Love it..
Pandacupcakelove 26
It's obviously no good idea to get that drunk, so YSODI (You Sort Of Deserve It) but everybody makes mistakes. At least you have a funny story now. You can use it to warn your kids about drinking too much in the future
wvcheesehead 13
You could use the Basic Instinct defense, it was a joke, why would you call and say you were drunk if you were actually drunk. You would be an idiot to do that.
buckdharma 38
The blood shot eyes, dry heaving, and one step forward two steps back will all be part of it? I GET IT! HAHAHAHA! Sorry op. You know, for typing loud.
netflixislove 32
Drunk people always make great decisions
CDobs 8
You drunk dialed your parents? That's the nerdiest thing I've ever heard.
MrConcise 35
I gotta get wasted, drunk dial my grandma, and post it here to spite you.
CDobs 8
Please do
communisttaco 16
I'm pretty sure the nerdiest thing to do is jerk off to hentai while watching Doctor Who and Monty Python at the same time... But maybe that's just me
buckdharma 38
I have a feeling you've been double crossed. Mom told Dad, and then Dad told Mom.