Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in three days. FML
Today, I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I ran into my dad carrying wine into another house. I didn't assume he was cheating until he saw me and said, "I won't tell if you don't tell, please don't tell your mother." FML
Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML
Today, at dinner, I accidentally let it slip that I'd taken a small sip of alcohol a few years ago and hated it. My extremely strict parents are now trying to get me into rehab. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my parents yelled at me for coming home drunk from a party last night. They said I couldn't hang out with my best friend anymore as he's a "bad influence". He was the only one sober in our group and drove me home safely. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
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Top comments
Exodiafinder687 58
What a brilliant plan. It's fool proof. Now you just have to bribe your parents and make sure they don't tell themselves or else you could be in a lot of trouble. Of course, you could also 'dispose' of them, but then how will you explain that when your parents start asking why they don't see themselves around anymore?
ajilon7 17
What did your parents say to that???
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Comments (102)
asherm 15
That's slightly beyond drunk. Don't worry, I'm sure they're mad, but still love you anyway. As long as you had safe ride home.
ZannityZan 13
Loool! This cracked me up. Good one, OP. Hope your folks weren't too bad about you getting drunk, and that the hangover wasn't too brutal, haha.
ndaguanno 17
YDI don't do something wrong if you can't own up to it. Serves you right
graciemaybae 3
lmao my friend did that but called me to not tell me haha
nitrog100 21
It's okay. When my brother was 19, he got absolutely obliterated at our cousin's wedding and told our aunt, "my parents think this is the first time I've ever done this".
WasabiMars 21
Pure genius.
DenBriZel 31
I think this one needs an OP response so we know what the parents did!
demonddm 24
i love drunk you
countrygal1213 3
bless your heart???
ACK15 4
Genius