Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog came to visit and I tried to bring him back home like I usually do. Only this time, when I grabbed the dog's collar, they zapped him! And it zapped me! My teeth still hurt! FML
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ynnhoj 2
good thing it wasnt a dollar size chunk.....and tell your bro to choke on dick and suck balls
dabluedude101 0
today my niece got bitten by my dog because she was messing with him. they are having my dog put down. real fml.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (121)
Volcomsmy_Lyfe 0
*shirt
FrecklesXO 8
If you care about your hip so much, kick the dog off. I'm not one for animal abuse, but if it's biting you, make it known that it's not supposed to be.
ohSNAPyall 27
It may be a little bit to kick a dog off a person's hip. Maybe it was a big dog that knocked OP to the ground... plus that's a bad angle to get your legs to.
FrecklesXO 8
I'm sure if you move around you can get a better aim to kicking it. Yeah, it could be a big dog, but at least try to get it off. I've gotten some big dogs away from me before. It's not hard when you show them who's boss.
cindybuzz 5
...and you couldn't have got the dog off yourself?
FrecklesXO 8
Right?! The dog could not have been that big of it was only chewing a penny size into OP's hip.
PeanutButterPudd 0
Penny-sized?? Man up is all I have to say.
tasha_caliente 0
tht must suck
jplumbob 4
how old are u 91 like 14?
RedPillSucks 33
Where the hell to they make 14yr olds that developed?
jplumbob 4
I must have been right because she removed pic right quick.
GARDENGURL 0
OOOH. The size of penny! Stop your bellyaching!!!
chrissstine 0
omg... r u ok?! cuz that could b infected
tasha_caliente 0
no wat 96 alot of ppl have comments like tht and u must b really slow to notice tht wat grade tu in 3rd grade
keezyisfly 0
I would have got up bitch kicked the damn dog and beat the manhood out of my brother. Bahaha if I had a damn brother! Also I just want to say KILL SHOT KILL SHOT KILLLL SHOTTTT!! lmaoo.
keezyisfly 0
Bahaha 96!! Seriously girl put some clothes on that picture is fukin ugly :))