Today, I got bitten by my aunt's dog. My brother was holding the leash. He said he didn't pull the dog away from me because he didn't want to rip my shirt. Meanwhile, the dog was biting a penny-sized chunk out of my hip. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a dog bit me, tearing a hole through my sweatpants, my shorts, and my underwear, all to get at the dog treat I'd hidden in my pocket. FML
Today, the family dog was in the garbage and wouldn't stop eating. He is a large dog, and I had to put my arms around him and pull him out of the trash can. Well, he bit me so hard I was bleeding. My whole family is siding with the dog and saying it was my fault for not letting him eat. FML
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, I picked my dog up and nibbled her ear. On the tip of her ear was a large tick, which burst, sending blood into my mouth. FML
Today, I was eating with my boyfriend and his family at a high-end restaurant when, suddenly, I screamed, thinking a dog had just bitten my leg. I am terrified of dogs. I kicked my under-the-table assailant as hard as I could. It was my boyfriend's adorable five-year-old sister. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when another dog barked at him. My dog ran, pulling me with him. I fell to the ground in pain, with my hand still holding the leash. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, my neighbor's dog came to visit and I tried to bring him back home like I usually do. Only this time, when I grabbed the dog's collar, they zapped him! And it zapped me! My teeth still hurt! FML
Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML
Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite, this dog is no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML
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Top comments
ynnhoj 2
good thing it wasnt a dollar size chunk.....and tell your bro to choke on dick and suck balls
dabluedude101 0
today my niece got bitten by my dog because she was messing with him. they are having my dog put down. real fml.
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Comments (121)
TheRaineMan 0
If it was me, it would be the dog's FML... "Today, i tried to bite a guy, that guy bite me instead. A penny-sized chunk is missing out of my hip. FML"
cc1992 11
Are you saying you bite chunks out of dogs? Interesting.
TheRaineMan 0
I dont usually bite any kind of @$$, but i once "accidently" bite my ex gf's ass though. It was fun.
cc1992 11
Lmao, good to know. Did she appreciate that?
piinkbunnii 1
Reminds me of when I bit a girl because she skipped me in line!!! :-/
cc1992 11
TheRaineMan - Ahaha, can't say I blame her :P And thanks :) piinkbunnii - Lol! That's a rather aggressive move to pull!
jgilez 0
coulda bin a quata, rabbetz feet.
Anthrophobia 2
Ouch. Hope you're alright, OP.
Navalith 0
agree with #4 . oh and hi ;3
deannamarie12 0
Haha, awww sorry OP :( you brothers an ass for that :P
cc1992 11
Ahaha, can't say I blame her :P And thanks :) piinkbunnii lol! That's a rather aggressive move to pull!
cc1992 11
Sorry wrong person.
remieshine16 0
WTF number 36 ??
dabluedude101 0
today my niece got bitten by my dog because she was messing with him. they are having my dog put down. real fml.
Volcomsmy_Lyfe 0
haha I think he was using theshort as an excuse..you must have been very mean to you and this was an act of revenge