By caca maker - 13/01/2013 09:22 - Canada
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lol his participation lasted about 5 minutes, the next 9 months are all on her. making humans is exhausting, and painful, and I'm sorry but guys get to do the fun parts without any of the crappy parts. you get to have sex, then sit back and wait 9 months while she does the hard work, and at the end after she's expelled another living being from her vagina you get to cuddle the baby and coo about "we made a baby" while she gets her vagina stitched up. I'm currently making our 3rd tiny human, and husband has finally accepted that I just automatically win right now. if he ever expects to get back to the fun parts anyway.
How about money that keep a roof over her head and put food on the table that allows her to keep creating that life....
So you are saying the man is either a) worthless or b) is he is not allowed to bring up his worth in a discussion. But practically stating that he is worthless is ok for the wife. Also, just because she is biologically forced to do more work, does not mean he did not create the baby as well...
When the hell did I say the man was worthless? Also, when did I say that the wife stating he is useless is ok? No, really, point out where I said these things. I was confronting just this argument, not the FML as a whole. No, you are not allowed to bring up financial care for your spouse to win an argument. You are using your financial care for them to make them submit to your stance and control them. If you can't see that that's abusive, you need help. You're in a relationship, and in this case, married, supporting each other is your fucking job. Don't want that, don't be in a relationship. Between my boyfriend and I, I make the money for our household. Do you think I would ever hold that over his head? Never, I would never make him feel worthless and like he was a burden to me like that, it's cruel. I completely disagree with what the wife did, my mom has used a similar argument on me, which I pointed out was wrong. Just cause I express my reservations for one side, doesn't mean I support the other.
To everyone who's getting their panties in a bunch... society these days want everyone to have the same treatment? That's exactly what my comment was about. She accused the guy to be worthless, only good to produce poop? She would get an "equality" treatment if the guy defended himself by mentioning his contributions of paycheck and security. What did all your touchy feeling pricks wanted to do? You want equality, then deal with come backs and criticism of your behavior. Women can dish it out but can't take it? She was a willing partner in creating this baby, so she needs to deal with her crappy moods and not belittle her partner in the first place. If she keeps saying stuff like that to her partner all the time, and if the guy is not a push over, do you really think this family will last?
Nobody said she was or was not primary provider. It's not about that. My comment was a hypothetical come back to a horrendous statement by the girl who belittled her partner. If you're a willing partner and made a baby, don't belittle the guy because you feel like crap. So you're saying that woman can talk poop about men, but when we point out the obvious and if it upsets you we are not allowed to do it? Don't forget she started his first, not the other way around. You want equality? Then deal with reality and stop playing victim when you attack first.
45, I do have to point out one thing. The woman is PREGNANT. Pregnant women are hormonal as fuck and will say all kinds of things, usually without meaning them. I've known women who would start crying because something fell on the floor. That's how emotionally unstable pregnancy can make you. So your comment about her "belittling" her husband is bs. More than likely, she only said what she did because her hormones were making her pissy. I highly doubt she meant it.
#45 I understand what you're trying to say. But your original comment implied OP was the only one working and his wife just stays at home. Which is assuming. OPs wife's comment wasn't okay. But you got to understand his wife is PREGNANT. She can't completely control her hormones. It's best OP doesn't say a witty come back to make things worse, and just wait till his wife is calm to discuss what the problem was. I've been getting multiple periods lately so my hormones are unbalanced and I feel my emotions are out of control. When I have my out bursts my boyfriend just stays calm and doesn't fight back because he knows it's just the hormones talking. And of course once I've calmed down I apologize to him.
As a heavily pregnant lady myself, I agree with her. I would never thought it would be this hard, and whenever my husband is complaining about anything I want to punch him! Being pregnant is exhausting and very uncomfortable
Your wife is one of the very lucky few then. Quite ignorant to compare everyone else's pregnancies to your wife's. My best friend had it terrible. Puking almost every day for the first 3 months. Could hardly keep anything down and wasn't gaining the pregnancy weight that she was supposed to. As well as severe back and pelvic pain, very sore breasts and hormonal episodes. I even know someone at work who lost his wife during childbirth, so no, not all women have it easy like your wife.
#41 I also had hyperemesis most of my pregnancy. It was hell. 11 trips to the ER for dehydration, weeks of IV therapy (nutrient and saline bags), three chemo-grade antinausea pills and IVs... Lost 30 lbs in first 2 trimesters, then gained 70 the last trimester. 10 the last week. Induced because of preeclampsia risk, which turned out to be good because baby had cord around his neck (discovered at delivery). Dr moved quickly and he was fine. Delivery otherwise ok. Still dealing with muscle loss and a thyroid autoimmune disorder that likely was triggered during that time. My best friend's pregnancy was great but she had a complicated delivery. #30 It's great some people get to "enjoy" it. I'm genuinely happy for them. But many don't.
Hopefully you created that life with her. Sooo... Her agument is invalid.
Usually I would agree with not holding it over someones head, but i've spent the last few months watching my pregnant sister struggle with Placenta Previa and hyperemesis, while her husband does absolutely fuck all around the house, sits on his arse all evening then bitches and moans if she asks him to tidy up his own mess. Apparently because she only works 3 days a week she should spend the rest of her time making sure 'his house' (bought with the proceeds from the sale of my sisters flat) is spotless. It's definitely put into perspective how even the nicest guys can be completely unaware of how hard pregnancy is. You don't know what OP and his wife were arguing about, she might have been well within her rights to point out that she's pregnant and it's difficult, especially if he was being completely unsympathetic, like many men can be without even realising it.
Sorry, OP. Just because someone else is struggling more doesn't mean you shouldn't get to talk about your problems. By your wife's logic there is really only one person in the world who gets to complain, because only one person has it the worst.
Men wouldnt be able to handle it if they were the ones pregnant and giving birth...
women dont "handle" it. thats why we have epidurals. i hate when women say that... like yall just lay down, grunt real hard a few times and then give the doc a "whooo" and a high five. its common for women to die from labor, so the whole "handle it" thing is bullshit.
Not necessarily true. If men had been biologically designed to get pregnant like women are, they'd also have the necessary hormones and presumably reproductive functions that allow women to carry children also. I hear many girls say men couldn't handle periods or pregnancy, but that's because we don't need it have to. If we'd grown up with it like you had I don't see why we would t be able to deal with it. This website alone prices there are many women who can't handle either of those things whatsoever.