Valentine's slay, Successful breakups and Love: Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that...

By Noname - 02/02/2012 10:41 - United States

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 184

You deserved it 4 513

Valentine's slay Successful breakups Love

Vulture

Compromises

Cognitive dissonance

By IncompatibleMetier - 09/10/2014 23:07 - France

Today, and for a long time, I've had a phobia of schools. I'm extremely stressed out about starting in a new school. Normal, right? Yes, except that I'm the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 416

You deserved it 10 938

By novdestiny - 30/06/2017 16:00

Today, I discovered that, because my boyfriend has locked himself out of his car so many times, he now keeps a coat hanger to break in. He keeps it IN the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 237

You deserved it 358

By heat pumps suck - 26/01/2017 14:28

Today, since moving to a state with relatively milder winters last year, my heating bill has more than doubled. I am now paying more to keep my new apartment at 62 when it is 20 outside, than what I was paying to keep my ancient apartment at 70 when it was minus 14 outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 875

You deserved it 454

By Dezzy - 03/11/2014 19:06 - United States - Springfield

Today, I decided to give my boyfriend a surprise striptease. After I turned around, I heard him murmur "Oh, wow." I turned back around, only to find him watching a gif of a cat falling into snow in slow motion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 135

You deserved it 4 916

By tittyboomboom - 24/03/2016 13:16 - Australia

Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 873

You deserved it 2 032

By kittykat - 08/08/2009 18:02 - United States

Today, I snuck out of my bedroom to go pee very quickly, so I wouldn't wake up my new puppy who doesn't like being away from me. In the 60 seconds it took me to pee, wash my hands and walk back into the room she had pooped, peed, and left potty-paw-prints all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 555

You deserved it 8 066

By KyngJulian - 23/04/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, I found out I was an alcoholic. Not from my friends or family, but because the ice-maker couldn't keep up with the amount of drinks I've been making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 639

You deserved it 19 671

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 01:30 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I can remember dozens of serial killers, their victims, the way they killed, the length of their prison sentences, and anything else about them, but nothing related to my upcoming science test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 796

You deserved it 1 944

Drunk twit

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 06:06 - United States

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother, you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 614

You deserved it 44 096

By Anonymous - 03/10/2011 20:49 - United States

Today, I finally got the nerve to tell my parents that I'm no longer going to pay them a flat percent of my salary, but only what they need to cover my expenses. Their response: "Better find a place of your own then, you freeloading bastard." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 790

You deserved it 34 562

By Anonymous - 02/09/2015 09:20 - United Kingdom - Crawley

Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 829

You deserved it 1 705

By Anonymous - 13/04/2011 10:19 - Australia

Today, I came out to my parents. They nodded empathetically throughout my entire speech and told me repeatedly that it was okay. As I smiled and stood up, my dad asked, "But you're still going to marry a guy, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 471

You deserved it 8 098

By killmenow - 21/02/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 668

You deserved it 8 848

By officework - 24/09/2015 19:09 - Canada - Toronto

Today, during the "what can your manager do to help with your career aspirations" section of my annual review, my manager basically told me she wouldn't help me and I should quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 416

You deserved it 1 648

By anonomous - 07/04/2012 15:27 - United States

Today, after years of secretly faking my orgasms, my husband gave me my first real one. Afterward was also the first time he ever accused me of faking it because, "It was different from all the other times." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 913

You deserved it 46 126

So you had a bad day…

By That guy - 15/10/2020 17:01

Today, I woke up early for work and spent 30 minutes frantically looking for my keys. I had to take a 30-minute Uber ride to work, then drove an hour in the company truck, only to be stood up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 103

By fridgemylifee - 13/08/2015 17:39 - United States

Today, I had a first date with a guy I met online. And his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 408

You deserved it 2 978

By dpap - 18/01/2013 23:03 - United States - Waukee

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 161

You deserved it 3 725

By anon - 02/01/2016 15:57 - Australia - Glenfield

Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Years party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 729

You deserved it 1 904

By angry - 04/11/2009 18:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was on web cam to my girlfriend who was naked. She turned the web cam to point to the screen for a second and she was also on web cam with another guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 499

You deserved it 3 208

By boss_daughter - 20/05/2015 12:03 - United States

Today, while we were at a work party, I noticed a drunk lady in the mix. I pointed out to my boss how dumb she looked. It was his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 526

You deserved it 14 183

By pandapantsMD - 18/04/2015 03:12 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 865

You deserved it 2 656

By rickjameson - 29/08/2016 10:19 - United States - Kill Devil Hills

Today, I made a point of talking to our parachute riggers, and thanking them for all they do. Today is also the first day I had to pull my reserve chute because my main chute didn't open correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 104

You deserved it 1 019

By sorenips - 03/10/2011 23:19 - Canada

Today, after a great treadmill run at my gym, I noticed a stain on my clothing. Apparently my nipple chafed so badly that it bled through my white t-shirt, and I'd walked around the gym completely oblivious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 872

You deserved it 3 828

By Tabby - 06/08/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my teenage son that no, his knowledge of the English language was not passed down to him genetically. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 511

You deserved it 3 833

By NewFiancee - 11/08/2009 00:21 - United States

Today, I went out for dinner with my parents where they asked me if I was still dating my boyfriend so I answered no. They quickly responded by saying, "Oh so you finally got rid of that douchebag? It's not like he was getting anywhere in life anyways." I answered no because he's my fiancé now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 179

You deserved it 9 589

By Ladycakes - 04/06/2012 10:13 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 774

You deserved it 6 889

Don't let it come to this

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 02:01

Today, we had the cops called on us because my son was panicking so much about his first COVID jab, his older sister got fed up, took him outside, put him in a headlock and choked him unconscious so the nurse could jab him. Instead, the nurse called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379

You deserved it 1 131

By ChubbyPanda - 08/08/2016 22:49

Today, after not moving at work all day, I decided to be healthy and walk home. Now my thighs are numb from rubbing together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 789

You deserved it 3 599

By hopelessteej - 28/01/2013 13:55 - Australia - Sydney

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 075

You deserved it 4 082

By Anonymous - 06/12/2015 15:36 - United States - Saint Cloud

Today, I found out that the $200 I reluctantly gave to my mother so she could rent a house was paid to a scammer. Now she wants to live with me, in my one bedroom apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 774

You deserved it 1 892

By mystery - 17/06/2012 02:08 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 646

You deserved it 2 375

By ticketed - 28/08/2012 16:04 - United States - Bronx

Today, I learned that several thousand people in my state got tickets this month for driving and talking on the phone. My mom called to tell me this while I was driving. I'm now part of that statistic. Thanks, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 269

You deserved it 36 526

By anonymous - 14/03/2010 14:49 - United States

Today, I started to type up a mass text to tell a decent amount of my friends that I'd just come home to a surprise from my boyfriend. Trying to fix a typo, I accidentally hit send with the text only saying "Guess what?! I just came." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 863

You deserved it 11 735

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 669

You deserved it 3 106

By laughing-stock - 02/09/2013 21:40 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I was telling my brother about how my new colleagues and I don't share a sense of humour. He replied, "What, you mean they don't pretend to laugh at your jokes like everybody else?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 883

You deserved it 5 978

By gonnabeunemployed - 08/12/2016 21:33

Today, I got a call from the only company that asked me to come in for an interview of the many applications I submitted. I answered it even though I was at my current job. My boss heard and chewed me out. The call was to cancel the interview since the position was filled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 005

You deserved it 1 697

#humblebrag

By Burst a Valve - 26/02/2017 18:00 - Australia

Today, I learned there is such a thing as "too much sex". After a full week of having sex at least twice a day with my girlfriend, I had to go to the GP due to a painful erection and swelling. The constant sex had caused me to burst a blood vessel in my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 506

You deserved it 2 827

By IPityTheStool - 09/06/2011 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, I used the staff toilets at school. As I sat down, I heard a sudden plop, followed by the stench of diarrhoea from the next cubicle. It was followed by a "I do apologise!" It was my English teacher. And we continued to chat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 407

You deserved it 7 581

By Anonymous - 20/08/2017 20:00

Today, I was told to put away the new toilet paper rolls. I reached in the package only for my hand to get wet, and then noticed the yellow liquid at the bottom. My cat used it as a litter box. At least, I hope it was my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 408

You deserved it 374

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Top comments

yennichan 0

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Tuesday 3 February 2009 16:31

I'm playing D&D on Valentines Day with friends...nothing bad bout that....(though my bf is in the group...so...)

Aeiou202 0

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Thursday 23 December 2010 13:33

i would say something but i couldn't understand you so...

yennichan 0

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Tuesday 3 February 2009 16:31

I'm playing D&D on Valentines Day with friends...nothing bad bout that....(though my bf is in the group...so...)

LegitDGK 0

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Monday 9 August 2010 9:37

ur a loser for playing d and d its retarded lol u play a computer game irl it wud be a terrible game if it was on the comp but the way it's played is just fucking gay

Aeiou202 0

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Thursday 23 December 2010 13:33

i would say something but i couldn't understand you so...

eminarnar 0

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Monday 7 February 2011 6:56

d & d isn't a computer game, it's like role playing with action figures and it kicks ass. I would play it again but my friends aren't as geeky as me so I'm fucked.

UMad_Bro 3

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Thursday 15 September 2011 5:38

you could hook up with someone that shows up then

OEsEben 0

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Thursday 5 February 2009 1:34

Anyone who says Valentine's day is overrated is probably fat, pathetic or both. Get off of Warhammer and go meet some people who aren't pixels spermburpers.

Woop_Woop 0

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Tuesday 21 July 2009 14:12

wait a min D&D isnt warhammer dont get the two mixed up one is gd (warhammer) and one is shit and nerdy (D&D)

NotDave 0

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Thursday 1 December 2011 6:59

I have and have had a girlfriend for a long time. Valentines Day IS overrated. It's a commercial holiday that people use as an apology for not being romantic any other day.

duke56924903 11

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Friday 30 March 2012 5:20

Just thought I'd point something out... D&D is a social game that involves playing with other people- yes OTHER REAL PEOPLE- unlike computer games which do not. Not that I'm hating on computer games... It's just that your premise is flawed.

KeDa_cookies 6

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Sunday 8 April 2012 13:12

And your ignorant and annoying..just sayin

vampirecmb 0

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Saturday 14 February 2009 6:30

D&D or Valentine's day? hell I'd settle for either haha my girlfriend's busy, and my group won't meet consider yourself lucky haha

Darc 0

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Friday 27 February 2009 5:17

I had to miss my monthly D&D game on Valentine's Day so I could instead move my house. Yay.

Zarath_fml 0

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Saturday 21 March 2009 1:45

DnD is SWEET, no matter WHAT anyone says, my groups meeting this weekend :)

kevin_sullivan 0

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Saturday 21 March 2009 2:05

i play dnd..i was a captain of the varsity wrestling team in high school, i have always had a hot girlfriend (and not just hot by my standards..i always dated girls from the dance team), i was an army stud, and im quite popular. you dont have to be a nerd to play a badass game..you have to be a badass! so keep it up!

Metzler31 17

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Wednesday 27 June 2012 12:57

One of my good friends actually just moved to La Crosse, WI. Not sure how big the town is but maybe you went to the same school.

podrummer9209 0

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Monday 23 March 2009 3:24

Aw = *hug* Don't feel bad. I stayed home and worked on my airsoft guns all day on v-day. I was a little saddened by the fact that getting hit in the eye by a spring guide failed to change the fact that it was the best valentine's I've ever experienced.

thekraken 0

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Wednesday 29 April 2009 4:51

Right on my fellow nerd! Now my level of nerdosity isn't high enough for me to play D&D, but nevertheless there is nothing wrong with what you're doing. I actually got drunk alone and watched some movies and a bunch of Seinfeld episodes on v-day.

24788 6

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Wednesday 29 April 2009 22:13

Do what you love.

Geicogecko 2

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Tuesday 15 June 2010 8:24

u have. a six pack.

Headcase 0

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Friday 1 May 2009 14:43

At least you're lucky enough to have a D&D group who'll all be in the same place on V day. I've been cut down to four a year because people just go to LANs these days. PC games are killing D&D where I am.