Work: Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the... - FML

22/09/2010 06:56 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out I have a job interview coming up. For the job I'm currently doing and have been for the last nine months. My manager told me not to expect too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 458

You deserved it 2 380

Best teeth in the game

Leave us alone

Hiding from the drama

08/01/2016 14:34 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Afterwards, my parents thought it would be a great idea to have my favourite meal. I got to watch them enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 390

You deserved it 1 754

Hammocking yourself

By phlox_fml - 30/05/2020 08:00

Today, I fell backwards out of my hammock, busting my shoulder. This weekend, I broke my toe falling out of it. I've used hammocks my entire life, but have become apparently unable to during the lockdown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 252

01/02/2009 08:11 - Canada

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 572

You deserved it 11 411

31/01/2013 05:40 - United States - Fairfield

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 086

You deserved it 38 119

Moving

By happyasaclam - 19/02/2009 00:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 963

You deserved it 6 003

03/07/2012 16:43 - Canada - Campbell River

Today, my new boss gave everyone a lecture about sexual harassment in the workplace. Which would be fine if he'd been able to tear his gaze off my chest for more than a minute at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 693

You deserved it 3 849

25/09/2012 07:08 - United States

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 882

You deserved it 2 382

11/03/2015 20:15 - United States - Hicksville

Today, I was given a new responsibility at the law firm where I work. I'm now in charge of punching holes in every single piece of paper to be found in the office, estimated to be in the hundred-thousands. The reason? I finish my daily clerical work too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 286

You deserved it 2 550

25/01/2010 10:27 - United States

Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 5 936

11/08/2012 23:47 - United States - Redlands

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 095

You deserved it 9 547

25/11/2009 04:08 - Canada

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 512

You deserved it 28 299

02/10/2015 10:22 - Australia

Today, my little sister thought it would be funny to send my girlfriend a text saying I cheated on her and wanted to break up. Her response was "lol whatever I've been fucking Steve for like a month anyway". Steve is my brother, and he won't admit or deny it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 636

You deserved it 2 123

Exciting

By Anonymous - 23/07/2021 11:01

Today, I had a crucial volleyball playoff game. My dad came to watch. While in a set, my friend pointed over to the bench where my dad was sitting. I turned to see my dad snoring loudly as a result of him falling asleep. He achieved this with loudly cheering people all around him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 74

27/11/2015 06:42 - France - Cateri

Spicy

Today, I had a boyfriend who wanted to wait until marriage before having sex. When I came home, I realised he must have married my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 349

You deserved it 2 164

01/01/2012 18:09 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 847

You deserved it 10 836

05/11/2009 09:44 - Australia

Today, I found out that the new receptionist earns more than I do. I'm an undergraduate accountant and I've been working there for 2 years. Oh and I started out as the receptionist before I got a "promotion". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 681

You deserved it 2 473

09/06/2011 02:00 - United States

Today, my mother set off the alarms at Walmart by shoplifting. She shouted at me to run, which I didn't. I had to get a ride home from the security guard, since my mother left without me because I didn't get to her car fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 524

You deserved it 5 121

28/03/2013 13:52 - United States - Staten Island

Today, while in a public bathroom, I threw out my back. A stranger had to help me pull up my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 309

You deserved it 2 843

Game of Nope

By no no no - 23/07/2017 20:00 - United States - Simi Valley

Today, while watching Game of Thrones, my boyfriend remarked that he doesn't think that "sibling incest is a big deal" and doesn't "get why it's illegal." He has 2 sisters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 914

You deserved it 575

11/03/2016 20:35 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 872

You deserved it 1 962

12/08/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I ran sound for my ex's wedding rehearsal since I was the only sound tech in town. Her dad was late for the rehearsal, so the pastor had me to walk her down the aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 701

You deserved it 3 971

15/04/2009 19:45 - United States

Today, I was visiting my grandmother's house. She keeps the thermostat on 85 and after about 30 minutes I explained to her "I'm going to have to leave, it's just too hot in here". She replied: "You think it's hot in here, wait until you get to hell." I laughed. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 440

You deserved it 6 315

28/07/2009 04:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 142

You deserved it 7 884

22/12/2012 00:11 - United States - Strasburg

Today, I went to the local used books store to sell all my college textbooks. I spent several hundred dollars on them in total. I ended up walking out of the shop a pathetic $3.50 richer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 878

You deserved it 7 648

16/05/2009 12:11 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was visiting a national park and went for a swim. Afterwards, I needed to change clothes but the bathrooms were closed. I went off into the woods to change. As soon as I was naked, I heard hooves and sixteen people on horseback rode by. I'd stripped by a horse trail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 874

You deserved it 18 666

14/08/2015 09:35 - Canada

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 415

You deserved it 9 606

19/08/2011 03:22 - United States

Today, I picked off what I thought was a small bug feeding on my skin. I was wrong. It was a mole. I spent the last 30 minutes trying to stop the continuous bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 716

You deserved it 10 839

06/08/2015 08:33 - United States - Apo

Today, I was diagnosed with food poisoning for the third time since moving to this base in Japan. My husband keeps cooking questionable meat and vegetables from the commissary because he thinks the food from a Japanese grocery store is radioactive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 705

You deserved it 2 112

27/06/2010 07:43 - United States

Today, while going to lunch with my boss, he asked me to check and see if the other lane was clear. When I did, he swerved hard, making me smack my head into the door window. This is apparently his new favorite thing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 588

You deserved it 3 947

16/01/2013 21:08 - United States - San Marcos

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 470

You deserved it 4 445

Ties that bind

By Anonymous - 27/10/2020 08:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I offered to give my ex a ride home from work. He and I ended on good terms years ago, we just aren't compatible with each other. I dropped him off and not ten seconds later, he came back out looking sick. His fiancee was inside having sex with MY new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 507

You deserved it 138

Value

By Randy - 13/09/2011 02:15 - United States

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 265

You deserved it 5 228

Unfair. Period.

By shanna - 23/05/2018 15:00

Today, after I missed my last 3 periods, my mom grounded me for "getting pregnant" and refuses to believe anything else. I'm 15 and never had sex in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 561

You deserved it 209

25/01/2014 20:34 - United States - Tobyhanna

Today, I had to explain to my father that when my friends sleep over, it's not acceptable to sneak into my room in the middle of the night and dig through their stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 114

You deserved it 4 421

03/04/2014 20:53 - United States

Today, my coworkers continued their new favorite game: staring at me in total unnerving silence. I can't help but be reminded of serial killers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 954

You deserved it 3 350

20/12/2016 04:05 - United States - Riverton

Today, my parents finally realized that I've been sneaking vodka when they weren't home. Note to self: don't let them freeze vodka that's actually 75% water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 658

You deserved it 8 937

07/01/2011 03:23 - United States

Today, my 2 year-old son decided to pee on the dog for the second day in a row. I'm afraid this will turn into a routine thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 834

You deserved it 5 141

26/05/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 579

You deserved it 3 405

20/10/2009 10:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out my 10 year old step-brother has an obsession with fire, after he burnt all the belongings in my room, including an £600 guitar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 030

You deserved it 2 913

10/04/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

I agree, your life sucks 250 608

You deserved it 31 173

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Top comments

TheWhiteDemon 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:23

im confused...what do u mean? so ur hvin an interview but for a job u alrdy have???

shortstack104 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:28

im confused

Comments

TheWhiteDemon 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:23

im confused...what do u mean? so ur hvin an interview but for a job u alrdy have???

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:35

your screwed, start looking for a new job

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:41

why don't you start preparing instead of posting on fml. also I think if you do prepare, you should have such a great interview, they'll be begging to keep you. ; )

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 13:03

say you cant make it because you have to work

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 14:01

Op, ydi for being bad at your job.

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 14:52

19- You can haz teh wins Your boss is an asshole OP.

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 15:02

I don't get it either. this fml is stupid.

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 15:38

it means the company is looking for someone to replace him. -_•

BoyFromTheFuture 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 16:24

happens all the time. the company lays off everyone and let's them interview for half the position and at a lower salary. Good luck OP but most of the time they have a pretty good idea of which employees they hope to keep.

GraysonIsFail 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 17:08

I really do not see how you can not understand this? What is wrong with you guys? Did you get dropped too many times when you were younger?

TheWhiteDemon 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 20:45

no i just wrote nonsense to be first, grayson

Infamous_Hawk 6

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 21:07

what I'm wondering is how he has been paying bills or getting money

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 21:59

companys have lay offs in MN and u can interview for ur own job again with a 50% chance a lower job for 75% and a higher job with a 25% chance.

iHOOT4Hooters 0

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Thursday 23 September 2010 4:24

Tell your manager this: If you are a guy: I didn't expect that much from your wife either, but she gave me the whole service! Did I mention that it was free?

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:24

be sure to make a good second impression

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:26

woooooowwwww

shortstack104 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:28

im confused

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:32

huh?

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 15:52

hahah look at r pikkz!!

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 15:53

how many othr colors do u thinkk they hav? or is it jst these 2...?

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Saturday 30 October 2010 13:09

ROFL I think its just these

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:34

i too am confused... how does crap like this make it through?

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:36

exactly

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:38

Hey OP, don't expect too much.

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:52

so... basically you're fired? well apparently you're gonna have more then one interview coming up Op! prepare yourself :]

XxCrazygirlxX 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:54

lol skip it XP

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 13:53

XP?

RedPillSucks 31

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 15:06

Its an emoticon. Turn your head sideways to see someone with their eyes shut tight and their tongue sticking out.

Ozmat 0

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 15:07

A retarded face

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Thursday 23 September 2010 1:37

Oh, see I was thinking he was saying OP.

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Saturday 25 September 2010 21:07

lol I agree. I would totally skip it:)

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:54

You are probably not a very good worker or they would not be making you compete for the job your doing. Best find another job.

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Wednesday 22 September 2010 12:55

Lmao I thought I was the only one who didn't understand this FML.

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 421

You deserved it 103

Today, for the first time I had to lie to the man I intend to marry, because I had a very intense and hot dream about Leslie Nielsen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 133