Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
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Top comments
sjb_2015 20
Seems legit.
bradleysol 11
Maybe she was already pregnant...
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Comments (237)
nerdii_birdii 3
You should take a test... and dump her. It's obvious she is cheating.
picante72 24
Make sure you get a dna test before she sticks you with any child support.
rosenkrieger223 24
That should go without saying.
cryssycakesx3 23
they usually do.
ilovemsminaj 13
She's either joking or a cheater, sorry OP
Fermion 20
Or is 12 and doesn't understand how it works?
gracehi 33
Oh jeez, I seriously hope she's not 12.
oneofthosegirls_fml 11
Condoms aren't 100% you know. And you don't have to cum to get a girl pregnant. Am I the only one who took health in high school?
igive 29
No we did too, and we all know it's highly unlikely.
igive 29
In his situation anyway.
ksks1234 33
Teletubbies are creepy enough normal, now I am going to have nightmares of those things!
dangousity 21
Are you one of those girls that believe you get sex from oral as well??
Preposterous 8
In my area, they don't offer any sort of sex-ed. Even in "health" class, the subject of sex was avoided at all costs.
oneofthosegirls_fml 11
Well, sorry, I didn't know there were still places that didn't teach sex education in this day and age.
clrichmond2009 24
actually most schools still avoid teaching actual sex ed. they teach abstinence. yeah, they might teach you where babies come from and such, but that's about as far as it goes. it's mom and dad's responsibility to teach you the rest.
Jessa91 10
...there is such thing as pre-ejaculate. Condoms can also tear/break. Craziness.
lollypop30001 19
Ask her how many weeks she is if it doesn't add up she lying and it not yours.
murdersquirrel 15
make sure she's ACTUALLY pregnant, and doesn't just think she is because she got a little nauseated or some other dumb thing that girls think automatically means they're pregnant.
film_addict1129 16
You wouldn't think it was dumb if you were the female, you have no idea how scary it is when you're not planning on having kids for a long time. It's very easy to get paranoid and read too much into te 'symptoms' as it's such a big life changer
Mauskau 36
After my first time I thought I was, as sometimes I felt sick, wanted to eat loads, was late.. took a test, nothing. Not sure what it was but still haven't had anything try to get out :p
CaitiieBuggs 23
#41 is right, if you were a female and all of a sudden pregnancy like symptoms happen after sex happens, you would probably think it COULD be that you're pregnant- not necessarily that you are pregnant. I don't know many girls who automatically jump to "I'm pregnant" after one tummy ache.
gracehi 33
You guys know that 24 is female, right?
EmsyyyRose13 24
i agree with #97. My period was really late once because of stress, and I was freaking out because I thought I was pregnant. When you really do not want to get pregnant, you tend to freak out over things like that.
xnikkilynn 11
Yes absolutely. Shortly after my first couple of times. I was paranoid because something happened with the condom. Certain smells made me puke. I couldn't eat anything. My period was late because I stressed myself out. THEN, I got my period. And I sang hallelujah from the toilet fist pumping.
rondiggs 9
Maury
XSeraphinX 18
ASAP
shaytards_fml 9
DNA test will show her who's the biach