Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
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Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML
Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML
Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML
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Top comments
sjb_2015 20
Seems legit.
bradleysol 11
Maybe she was already pregnant...
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Comments (237)
FMLcommenterer 13
Ah, we all know she is just shifting the blame!
beaverteaser 16
hope she didn't give you the condom. probaly had a few holes in it if she did
novapine 19
stranger things have happened., ever heard of the virgin Mary?
October3461 12
I doubt it's yours. If anything she screwed some other guy and is saying it's yours instead. Ask how late is she and if it doesn't add up, she cheated. Either way sorry op, hope it gets better from here
Ihavegas 22
run forrest run!!!
Cazz91 21
Oh because you know... OP has some wonderful magic mojo going on to be that fertile where he doesn't even have to cum inside the condom he was wearing to get the ladies pregnant. Yup, makes total sense to me. If she is certain about the "pregnancy being accurate" and is in denial about the child belonging to another man, take the test after the child is born to prove you're not the father and that the accuracy of your girlfriend sleeping around is also proven even though you already know this yourself if said apparent pregnancy actually happens.
cryssycakesx3 23
you don't have to wait for the child to be born for DNA tests.
alicat13 12
Need to do biology 101 missy. Although very unlikely, he could be the daddy.
TattooInvasion 14
#44 you really need to take a health class. Do you also believe the pull-out method works too? Just because he doesn't cum while inside you does not mean there was no pre-ejaculate carrying some swimmers. It only takes one. Condoms can also be defective. Anyways, good luck OP.
Stitcher 14
If there was a tear or hole in the condom, she could have gotten pregnant from your precome. Don't assume the worst of her, yet, OP.
jd2013 5
It is possible to get preganant without coming, and for condoms to fail, and for foreplay to lead to pregnancy. However before judging her I would want to know how long they have been together, how serious the relationship was etc. If they have only been togther a few weeks the baby might not be his. If they are in a long term committed relationship (not everyone jumps into bed togther the first week or month or even quarter they know each other) then it is most likely his. Don't prejudge her. Moral is - Never ever make love with anyone if you aren't prepared to help her raise your child........
marysevere 4
Congratulations!
RedPillSucks 33
There's a hole in the condom, dear Elisa, dear Elisa...