Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked over a glass of water, which short-circuited my alarm clock, so I overslept, missed a crucial meeting, and found out I'd been promoted... to a position which no longer exists. FML
Today, I was so lethargic talking to my co-worker about her raise that I accidently told her to celebrate with a family vacation. I totally forgot that she just started divorce proceedings and that her mom is dying. Meanwhile, I'm stuck making $42,000 a year, and have a cat. FML
Today, the only colleague I dislike was promoted to be my manager. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML
Today, I got a sweet promotion at my job. Instead of being happy and celebrating with me, my boyfriend broke up with me because he is jealous that I'm more successful than he is. FML
Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
This is a cat-astrophe! I say, quit being a pussy and go make some friends.
Moe954 0
Being kinda Socially Retarded myself, I feel ya. But there'll be friends soon enough for you tho, so don't worry about it too much. Congratz on the promo :D
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Comments (115)
GTmustang07 0
pussy's are always liked, losers..not so much. be one or be a winner
bankrupt 15
Congratulations on your promotion! That's great. Sometimes we hit points in our lives where we are "between" friends; everyone in the old group is married and you are still single so you no longer fit in, or they become parents and you have not, or you moved to a new area and haven't met anyone. For me it was the first; all my old friends married and since I wasn't half a couple at that exact moment, I didn't fit in to their social plans anymore. I made some great new friends by just going to things; college alumni events, church outings, art gallery shows, etc., where I met other single women who were looking for someone to hang out with. The trick is to go to something you are interested in or belong to (church, alumni club) so you have something in common with the people you might meet. OP, you just need to get out there!
nerdsgetmehot 23
This is very true! No shame in being between friends. It sucks, yeah, but sometimes it's just not your fault. People change a lot at different points in their lives, so naturally drifting apart is a common occurrence.
blaherman 12
wow your hot
TinyDude 10
Well gwt some beer and drunk u and ur cat out ;D noe u got a party goin xD
TheBestManEver 0
YDI for not having any friends.
phooph 2
Picturing party hats
some1azn 0
Your cat is a very lucky....person??
sapphirestar 0
OP congrats!! :D I shall celebrate with you! Haha
justsayfuck 5
'Happiness is only real when shared.' Try to invest more time in making friends, it will enrich your life probably more than a promotion :)
hosscat74 0
you seem like a person that listens to phish am I correct?
MatteoG79 0
make some friends. I'll be. then I can post an FML