Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked over a glass of water, which short-circuited my alarm clock, so I overslept, missed a crucial meeting, and found out I'd been promoted... to a position which no longer exists. FML
Today, I was so lethargic talking to my co-worker about her raise that I accidently told her to celebrate with a family vacation. I totally forgot that she just started divorce proceedings and that her mom is dying. Meanwhile, I'm stuck making $42,000 a year, and have a cat. FML
Today, the only colleague I dislike was promoted to be my manager. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML
Today, I got a sweet promotion at my job. Instead of being happy and celebrating with me, my boyfriend broke up with me because he is jealous that I'm more successful than he is. FML
Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
This is a cat-astrophe! I say, quit being a pussy and go make some friends.
Moe954 0
Being kinda Socially Retarded myself, I feel ya. But there'll be friends soon enough for you tho, so don't worry about it too much. Congratz on the promo :D
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Comments (115)
DarkHelmet 10
Well give it some catnip and party away
_Vamp_ 9
Just you, your pussy, and a job promotion? I'll join! Hehe :)
KikiThePug 0
Aww that's sad. Maybe you should go to pet storeand get another pet so you will have another friend! :3
Mattsta123 5
at least it's not dead
KiaMaster 0
go easy on the catnip at the party!
perdix 31
And cats don't even know what a "promotion" means, so it can't really celebrate with you. With your new wealth, you may attempt to purchase a bit more affection from your cat with some higher-grade cat food.
shaunosullivan11 0
atleast you got some pussy
crzyck83 0
There is probably a correlation between having no friends & your promotion.
Tikwichka 5
OP might not have any friends, but one day she could be infamous as the local crazy cat lady. We all have our aspirations, *sigh*.
Moe954 0
Being kinda Socially Retarded myself, I feel ya. But there'll be friends soon enough for you tho, so don't worry about it too much. Congratz on the promo :D
killswitchengage 0
exactly what he says better times will come. they did for me : )
warriorsoul 2
I'm sure the cat wouldn't have been there either if it had a choice...