Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a cat. I now have a cat and no girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked over a glass of water, which short-circuited my alarm clock, so I overslept, missed a crucial meeting, and found out I'd been promoted... to a position which no longer exists. FML
Today, I was so lethargic talking to my co-worker about her raise that I accidently told her to celebrate with a family vacation. I totally forgot that she just started divorce proceedings and that her mom is dying. Meanwhile, I'm stuck making $42,000 a year, and have a cat. FML
Today, the only colleague I dislike was promoted to be my manager. FML
Today, I realised that I have a better relationship with my cat than I do with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I'm celebrating New Year's with my cat. I made her a cake. FML
Today, I came home and saw my cat all snuggled up with another cat on the sofa. I thought it was the cutest thing ever, until I remembered that I only have one cat. FML
Today, I got a sweet promotion at my job. Instead of being happy and celebrating with me, my boyfriend broke up with me because he is jealous that I'm more successful than he is. FML
Today, I adopted a cat, thinking it would make my life a little less lonely. Within an hour, the cat ran away. Not even animals want to be around me. FML
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Top comments
FFML_314 12
This is a cat-astrophe! I say, quit being a pussy and go make some friends.
Moe954 0
Being kinda Socially Retarded myself, I feel ya. But there'll be friends soon enough for you tho, so don't worry about it too much. Congratz on the promo :D
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Comments (115)
akwes 0
obviously she has downs and doesn't even work lol
akwes 0
weak
Tarvo1 0
If telling your cat isn't enough, buy more pets or hire an escort, and tell them too. YDi for not showing initiative (outside of your career).
nooneatall 0
that sucks!
UrLiFsuX 4
So buy a dog, and then you will have 2 friends!! OR Go out and Get a Life!
unmadebed 0
My cat is my favorite thing in the world. No reason to be upset about having a feline for a best friend.
_Vamp_ 9
Should I point out the irony here?
_Vamp_ 9
WOOPS! I read your comment incorrectly. I apologize.
mintcar 10
This is sad. This is really sad.
Jimboom 12
You are deluding yourself. That cat only wants you to think it is your friend, it is really just biding it's time until it can have it's revenge. I know this as I have cats and one of them that is overweight and I have since put on a diet waited until the 1 time I didn't close the bedroom door right behind me to go in, jump on my bed, go under the duvet and then take a huge shit and piss. You just wait, if you died tomorrow it would gladly eat your eyeballs while it purred it's victory meow!