Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, when I woke up I checked my phone for messages, only to hear a woman screaming that I have been sleeping with her husband and that she is sending her 'people' after me. I have never met said husband. I panicked for hours, only to receive a call telling me she had dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, I received a phone call from the number of a "single" guy I met online. It was his wife, who is three months pregnant. She threatened to kick my ass. FML
Today, I received a random phone call from an unknown number. Three times. After the third time, the person started yelling at me viciously. Then I suddenly heard a different voice, saying, "Terribly sorry, sir. My poor sister has dementia and thinks you're her husband. Her dead husband, I might add." FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I called back a number I'd recently missed a call from. To my surprise, it was my boyfriend's fiancée's number. I've been with him four years, he's been with her for six. Turns out, not only is he a cheating jerk, but technically I'M the other woman. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML
Today, a 65-ish year-old man told me that he's married and not supposed to look at other women, but that I tempt him. All while sitting next to his wife, who then told me I was going to hell. FML
Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML
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Top comments
williamcarter93 13
Poor OP. Sorry your wife had to die so relatively early.
Larawk 8
Tweet his number. I'm sure you could get a bunch of kids to prank call him. Revenge is sweet
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Comments (135)
mrsmaglietta 6
kick his ass
aeromachine 7
No offense, but why are so many of you defending the "young man"? It's a cliche, but aren't we are who we are most transparently in times of distress? How cruel; how selfish his response was! Just my two cents.
Crazberry 5
That's like when a crazy woman called my sister at work (she was in customer service) and accused her of sleeping with her boyfriend. She tried to explain that the number she had called was a store but the girl refused to listen. Finally she snapped, "Yes he just left!" and hung up.
AidenSurvival 7
What a dickdouche. Sorry OP for that guy being an idiot!
YoursTru1yXo 0
0__0? Tha ****? Sorry for your luck op =
reimichele 8
You should have someone text him from a strange number saying "It isn't polite to call people's dead wives *****." When he asks who it is, have the person say "It's Satan you little creep. Just preparing a suite for you in the ninth circle of Hell." Continue the harrassment from several numbers.
cece_miless 8
People are rude. I don't like people. Sorry about your wife .!
HunterAlpha1 8
A+ for randomness!
Sunkissedgal 6
I would have totally went along and said "Come at me bro. BTW she left her panties here." But in all seriousness this guy need a punch in the gonads. Hope you feel better Op :)
npw13 1
OP, sorry for your loss :(