Today, I got a new pair of glasses, and was driving home. While waiting at a stop sign, I noticed a homeless guy touching himself. He saw me, smiled and waved, and then continued. So much for my new eyesight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML
Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML
Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, I went to get a facial. I forgot my contact case so I put them into paper cup. My beautician thought it was leftover water from someone else, and threw my only pair of vision aid away. I scuttled home half blind. FML
Today, after buying a new pair of prescription glasses, I went to the beach. The ocean now has a new pair of glasses. FML
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Top comments
COOL__Coal 12
I hope you waved back otherwise that would be rude
Ceejay1 13
You kept looking
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Comments (94)
perdix 31
Now you don't have to subscribe to PornHub and sit real close to the monitor to take in the hobo ****. Yer gettin' it for free on the street!
Harpy20 24
Bitch doesn't know what she's missin'...
Trisha_aus 15
Is hobo **** better than the Muslim **** Noor mentioned? I'm learning so much on FML...
perdix 31
#56, I like how you said LESS Boston Pancakes, implying that there are SOME Boston Pancakes! #69, cool number, bro, this site ought to be linked to UrbanDictionary.com (there's your hint.)
Harpy20 24
It'll be an FML/UrbanDictionary circle-jerk of sorts. Everyone would be satisfied.
JustAGuy107 0
It's a greeting where he comes from.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
And where exactly does he come from?
rosesofash860 8
From the corner of seamore and D!ck. ;)
twofirstnames 12
Seeing life a lot clearer I see..
Harpy20 24
"Cannot. Look. AWAY." @_@
tony1891 22
at least you have new glasses tho
GaleIsHawt 5
He doesnt have a place to do it in private! Homeless, remember?
donkey79 0
Exactly what i thought in a way the guy with the glasses was the one in the wrong. The homeless guy was just hanging out in what he perceived to be his living room.
The_CL0GGER 0
23, yeah, damn drivers peeking into homeless people's homes. Wait a minute...
Ajwc101 24
Would you help him Noor?
greenie213 23
Hey, at least he wasn't eating your face.
Trisha_aus 15
25- Your tongue is blue
Ajwc101 24
32 - Yes I know.