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By Jay - 18/05/2022 06:00

Today, I always thought that my dad never believed in me, but hearing him say it for the first time at 30 was the catalyst for some really hard self-reflection. The fact that I usually bounce all my ideas off him is the hardest to accept. Now who do I share with? FML
I agree, your life sucks 746
You deserved it 121

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Marcella1016 31

OP heard dad say he never believed in her. Not that he always believed in her. Ouch.

Did you remember to wash out the pan? Good job doing your mom's chores! I hope that shitbag knows what gender you are!

Comments

wrenavery90 12

I'm missing something here. I'm not understanding the problem. Aren't you happy he believes in you?

Marcella1016 31

OP heard dad say he never believed in her. Not that he always believed in her. Ouch.

Did you remember to wash out the pan? Good job doing your mom's chores! I hope that shitbag knows what gender you are!

Unfortunately, we get the parents we were dealt and we get the children we were dealt too. We have to make the best out of the hand we were dealt. That ultimately means making sound decisions and seeing them through to whatever success seems to you. Maybe Dad had reason to doubt you. Think about it, have you made responsible decisions and seen them through or did you give up at the first sign of difficulties? And maybe Dad is wrong about his assessment of your character and it’s a case of different values and different goals. Ultimately you have to be true to yourself. I was blessed to have a Dad that I could talk to about the difficult or big decisions in my life. He was good at listening and didn’t cut me off when we talked and thought about his advice before saying it. But mostly when I was an adult he listened which is what I wanted most at the time. I truly wish everyone had parents like that (and I wish my Mom was like that). You have no control over your Dad beyond trying to act like an adult and not a adolescent in the relationship. I hope you are able to find an equitable state in your relationship. Remember that at this point in life it’s really all up to you. Sure we want wise council and to be told that we are making the best choices. If you think you need psychological counseling to help you resolve your situation, please do that. Sometimes it’s available through your job or medical insurance. By the way, my Mom is definitely not cut from the same material as Dad was. She’s loving and means well, but I would never go to my Mom for advice. I keep her informed and stay in contact, but it’s a different kind of relationship. Mom learned long ago that as an adult I will make my own decisions and see them through.

slhiggx 15

Why bounce any thoughts opinions or ideas off someone who you felt didn’t believe in you? You have to believe in yourself. And you have to get away from that part of your relationship with him. Find someone more supportive to turn to when you need some advice and such.