spitty
Willoughby, United States
Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Treat yourself!
Today, I'd planned on treating myself to a spa day. I'd booked a massage and was so relaxed that I fell asleep during it. When I woke up, I realized that I had drooled all over the massage table. FML
Anonymous
San Francisco, United States
Fully relaxed
Today, I was getting a full-body massage at a spa when the masseuse dropped hot stones directly on my stomach. As I jumped up in shock and slight pain, the oils and towels all fell off me, leaving me completely naked in front of the spa receptionist. FML
Lunazel93
Mississauga, Canada
Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML
TheGirl
This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff
United States
Language of love
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
almyric
Headshot!
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML
AlwaysAwkward
Strongsville, United States
Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML
StickyWicket
Today, at work where I'm a physiotherapist, I was helping a patient with lower back pain. While I was massaging him, he shat himself. FML
Anonymous
Knock out
Today, I treated myself to a Thai massage. The masseuse was so aggressive and intense, she left me with injuries on my hands and back. I paid $60 for someone to hurt me. FML
Tylerdirdin84
Threesome
Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I went to get a nice, relaxing hot stone massage. Instead I got second degree burns on my legs. FML
Top comments
Lorenzo1102 21
Pee on him/her to show dominance
capnbzarr 43
Sounds like you're not the only one who was feeling relaxed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (46)
imkool136 22
Flick it's nose.
Khepre 22
It could be taken as a compliment, OP.
Jennandco 25
Maybe it's a very modern relaxation technique
trell000 13
Tell him to massage near your ass,then fart in his face.
lexos 16
Cleveland voice: oh that's nasty
Liyuesigs 8
You are too delicious.
abNormal62 23
I'm fairly sure it was awkward for both of you. Clearly it wasn't intended. I doubt that the masseuse was willing to risk throwing his job away for such an overt and intentional act that could've gotten him fired and possibly charged. The masseuse is probably sweating bullets that he is going to be reported and lose his/her job. Accept the apology and move on
ashleykingston 6
For future reference, we don't like being called masseuses. Here in the states, a masseuse is basically a prostitute impersonating a massage therapist.
DaRito 25
Take it as a compliment, you must be very attractive.
gintwinsmoore 20
you must have a killer bod for your therapist to drool on you like that.
AndyPurdy 31
I hope you had your mouth closed