Work and My ex: Threesome

Threesome

By Tylerdirdin84 - 28/07/2019 20:00

Today, I had to give a massage to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend as they got a couples’ massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 097

You deserved it 154

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
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Same thing different taste

By spitty - 14/04/2015 21:50 - United States - Willoughby

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 512

You deserved it 2 179

By Anonymous - 27/05/2013 23:34 - United States - Brimfield

Today, I got to wash my ex-wife's dishes at her apartment while her new boyfriend played with my daughter in the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 019

You deserved it 12 830

By AlwaysAwkward - 03/03/2014 02:30 - United States - Strongsville

Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 383

You deserved it 9 034

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 12:08 - Australia

Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 172

You deserved it 7 764

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 400

You deserved it 3 503

Relax!

By still sore - 12/10/2019 19:00

Today, after months of asking my massage therapist boyfriend to work on me, and him always saying he’s too tired to do so, I called my local spa to make an appointment. He then screamed at me for wasting money and for going to the competition when he could just do the job himself. I'm confused too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 865

You deserved it 214

By TheAngryBird - 28/06/2012 04:51 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 406

You deserved it 2 708

Headshot!

By almyric - 02/10/2019 12:02

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a foot massage. I learned that his feet are ticklish when he kicked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 282

By DormHater - 23/08/2010 23:09 - United States

Today, I helped move my current boyfriend into his new dorm room. This would've been fine if I didn't have to do this while avoiding eye contact with my ex-boyfriend, who just happens to be my boyfriend's new roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 264

You deserved it 4 720

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, trying to be romantic, I started giving my boyfriend a neck massage. He gave me a weirded-out look, removed my hand, called me creep, and wouldn't let me touch him for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 146

You deserved it 4 736

mekiswrite 21

Sunday 28 July 2019 20:03

At least you know that you're good at what you do, considering she thought to book with you. Definitely FYL though.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 28 July 2019 20:54

I’m sure that story had a Happy Ending™️

Comments

mekiswrite 21

Sunday 28 July 2019 20:03

At least you know that you're good at what you do, considering she thought to book with you. Definitely FYL though.

Kyla 1

Sunday 28 July 2019 20:26

damn that does suck

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 28 July 2019 20:54

I’m sure that story had a Happy Ending™️

lowshadows 21

Monday 29 July 2019 5:36

give him the good old Shanghai Suprise

Marjo86 29

Monday 29 July 2019 17:29

Wasn't it possible to pass this to a colleague? Or refuse it in another way?

donb23 23

Tuesday 30 July 2019 23:24

Did he tip??

J15237 25

Thursday 19 December 2019 1:47

And you know she is probably doing that shit to you on purpose. That is a real FML.

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Kids Cute Money Birthday Weird Awkward Love Health Abuse Relatable Social Media Scams School Education Parents Anger issues Teenagers Family Relationship advice Capitalism Miscellaneous Public freakouts Mental health Grieving Geek Music Poopoo peepee

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Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 251

Today, I lost all hope of finding a man. I’m gonna be 34 and I can’t get a date to save my life. I was cursed with a facial deformity and 285lbs of weight, making all men run for the hills. All of my younger sisters have got married and started families. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 197

The Top

Today, my 3-year-old said she wanted “hair like the dog”, so I cut it to about the same length as our pooch’s fur. Now she's crying because she didn’t realize her hair would regardlessly be less fluffy than the dog’s and she therefore ended up with “hair like a boy,” which of course she hates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 1 987

Today, my new roommate woke me up at noon to bitch about my "selfish sleeping habits" and how they ruin her ability to invite anyone over. I work the graveyard shift at the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 317

You deserved it 2 105

Today, while lying in bed, I was so lonely that I put a heavy blanket in front of me so it felt like I was spooning someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 639

You deserved it 242

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 382

You deserved it 3 409

Today, I had dinner with my aunt and uncle recently. Halfway through, my uncle says, “This gravy tastes weird, does it taste OK to you? Oh sorry babe, I forgot you haven’t been able to smell or taste anything lately.” Well, into quarantine I go… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 303

You deserved it 142

Today, I found out that the person I'm seeing is a terrible kisser. I really like them, but it's awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 785

You deserved it 192

Threesome

Same thing different taste

Relax!

Headshot!

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