Today, I got a little too drunk and confessed to my fiancé, the love of my life, that I've been faking my orgasms all along. I hate that I can't lie when I'm drunk. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, my fiancé got drunk at our wedding reception and announced to his and my family what we do in bed. And it was pretty detailed. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
Today, after faking my orgasms for several years, I found out that my boyfriend has been telling his friends that I'm super loose because he doesn't feel anything when I'm cumming. FML
Today, while at family dinner, my boyfriend got drunk and told my entire family the things I do in bed. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML
Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML
Today, my rarely-romantic boyfriend finally said "I love you". Too bad he was drunk, and was talking to my vagina. FML
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Top comments
lenalee96 22
wow, don't get drunk. problem fixed.
CallMeHush 1
Now maybe you can work together at giving you a toe curling, skull crushing ****** every now and then. We wouldn't want him to end up with brother status because he isn't doing it for you.
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Comments (104)
JillianlikesVogu 0
Oh, I only read it up to the enjoy part. I'm not very thorough at this hour.
5up3rTAN 0
why lie when you're sober ?!? liars suck fecal matter !!!
jaramia20 5
you're the " Eater of Goats " !!!! WOW , that's cool !!!
UnicornsDoExist 0
"Guys, I learned something today." Lying sucks, and apparently so do I.
MissGrinch 4
fiancé* I'm*
mintcar 10
I'm pretty sure not everyone has access to an accent "aigu" on their keyboard.
monnanon 14
actually everyone can type the accent. press the alt Gr key and e together :)
rlet 1
why would u drink so much if u know how stupid alcohol makes u???????
KaneVyrus 1
If you would've just been honest from the get-go you would've had a few days-weeks of awkwardness, a few months of working at it, and a lifetime of awesome sex to look forward to. Well, now's better than never! Be honest and try and work on it. I was honest with my guy up front and we always work on it, and it's great for us.
loshysucks 0
dont get drunk :)
MAGNAVOX 0
FMLs and orgasms,hmm. Is it just me or does it seem like FMLs are getting repetitive? Anyhow, if you can't handle alcohol then you probably shouldn't be drinking. YDI and I hope your fiancé leaves you for keeping things like that bottled up.
thakiller 0
loser
perdix 31
Guys with small dicks and/or premature ejaculation issues need love, too! ;)
schalk 12
I'm quoting Dave Chapelle - "No such thing as premature ejaculation. When I c** it's RIIGHHT ON TIME"