Kids: Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently,...

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 607

You deserved it 8 703

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Same thing different taste

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 903

You deserved it 5 030

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 892

You deserved it 9 070

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 190

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 286

You deserved it 356

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 321

You deserved it 9 428

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 548

You deserved it 4 690

By stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 390

You deserved it 2 777

Kids will be kids

By Anonymous - 26/04/2022 18:00 - United States

Today, I learned my son has been picking on a girl he has a crush on. He apparently went too far, because she finally snapped and beat him up at recess. The teacher, who knew about this from the beginning and actively did nothing, is trying to throw me under the bus for being oblivious to my son's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 495

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 768

You deserved it 161

By tenniemo - 10/08/2019 14:00

Today, I caught one of my students checking out my butt while I was helping another student at his table. I teach 8th grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 405

splice520 4

Friday 25 March 2011 9:08

future pimp

enonymous 8

Friday 25 March 2011 9:14

So did the teacher get a discount?

Comments

FatNerd 0

Friday 25 March 2011 17:51

This guy has a one-man prostitut buisness

Capt_Oblivious 10

Friday 25 March 2011 18:00

Genius, I've finally found a role model.

AshlyNicole 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:04

hahaha omg win!!

Bofferding_fml 6

Friday 25 March 2011 18:05

he gets some AND gets paid? Jesus what a genius!

CrumbledCookies 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:14

I bet he learned that from his mom ;D lol

Busty_fml 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:16

If he keeps this up you won't have to pay for his college tuition...

tdodd 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:19

piiimmmmppp!!! haha

codester1991 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:24

hell ya my son better be like that when I have one lmao

Shaggy_92 5

Friday 25 March 2011 18:33

smart kid

z5000 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:49

Wow thats different normally you have to pay girls to touch guys there! Sounds like there are some questionable girls at tat school lol

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Today, I saw the girl I like had posted a status on Facebook, saying, “I’m sick of being lonely, why don’t any guys wanna date me?! I think I’m gonna spend my life alone.” I asked her out once and she turned me down. When I commented this fact on her post proving her statement untrue, she blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 665

Today, my overly religious family told me that if I, an atheist, went to church with them, they’d buy me a season pass to Disneyland. I dutifully sat through the entire two hour sermon. I didn’t get the tickets. They lied to get me into church, but don’t see the irony of lying being a sin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 272

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I agree, your life sucks 47 939

You deserved it 13 933

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 3 925

Today, after being filled with joy after seeing my very elderly cat finally enjoying the sun in my garden, I skipped over to give her a hug. Turns out she was taking a shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 892

You deserved it 9 232

Today, I briefed a developer to delete 57 email accounts. I sent the wrong screenshots; those were the ones the client asked to stay active. The clients now don't have access to their emails until the account gets restored. I feel like crawling into a hole and dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 1 192

Today, I found out what it feels like to put in a contact while drunk. My eye still hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 794

Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 727

You deserved it 289

Same thing different taste

What up big pimps?

Kids will be kids

Market crash

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