Kids: Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently,...

By omg - 25/03/2011 00:43 - Canada

Today, I got a call from my 8 year-old son's teacher. Apparently, my kid has been charging girls a quarter to touch his "special area." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 643

You deserved it 8 729

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/04/2012 04:18 - United States - Burnsville

Today, my son had to call me from his school's principal's office because he was disrupting his health class by laughing whenever the teacher said "Sex". My son is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 384

You deserved it 4 256

By It was the 11 year old - 21/07/2012 08:00 - United States - Austin

Today, I overheard my 11-year-old son giving my 8-year-old daughter the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 939

You deserved it 5 039

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 927

You deserved it 9 077

What up big pimps?

By Anonymous - 05/05/2023 12:00

Today, I just got done being yelled at by my son's headteacher and a bunch of parents, all because my 6 year-old son has been arranging kiss dates between his classmates in exchange for sweets and so on. My little pimp in training. Not a proud dad moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 203

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 084

You deserved it 49 675

By Jay - 04/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 307

You deserved it 366

By Bad Mommy - 21/06/2012 05:40 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 344

You deserved it 9 438

By Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 585

You deserved it 4 706

By stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 419

You deserved it 2 786

Oversharing

By Anonymous - 13/03/2020 12:30

Today, my 10-year-old son told me that sometimes he wishes that he could be a girl, so that he could masturbate more easily in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 914

You deserved it 273

splice520 4

Friday 25 March 2011 9:08

future pimp

enonymous 8

Friday 25 March 2011 9:14

So did the teacher get a discount?

Comments

FatNerd 0

Friday 25 March 2011 17:51

This guy has a one-man prostitut buisness

Capt_Oblivious 10

Friday 25 March 2011 18:00

Genius, I've finally found a role model.

AshlyNicole 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:04

hahaha omg win!!

Bofferding_fml 6

Friday 25 March 2011 18:05

he gets some AND gets paid? Jesus what a genius!

CrumbledCookies 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:14

I bet he learned that from his mom ;D lol

Busty_fml 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:16

If he keeps this up you won't have to pay for his college tuition...

tdodd 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:19

piiimmmmppp!!! haha

codester1991 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:24

hell ya my son better be like that when I have one lmao

Shaggy_92 5

Friday 25 March 2011 18:33

smart kid

z5000 0

Friday 25 March 2011 18:49

Wow thats different normally you have to pay girls to touch guys there! Sounds like there are some questionable girls at tat school lol

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You deserved it 5 795

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of over a year has been cheating on me the whole time, but that "it's just physical". However, he doesn't want to do anything "physical" with me, except cuddle when we're together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 055

You deserved it 4 725

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 144

You deserved it 62 920

Today, I was waiting for the pan to heat up so I could make myself scrambled eggs. Just then, my mom runs up to me, cracks an egg open on my head, and runs away laughing. I only had one other egg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 583

You deserved it 4 609

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 536

You deserved it 15 623

Today, I caught my dog “cleaning” the cat’s litter box. He won’t be giving me any kisses anytime soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 242

You deserved it 281

Same thing different taste

What up big pimps?

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