Today, I gave my wife of four years a special anniversary gift: a red rose dipped in liquid gold so that she would cherish and admire it forever. She told me it was too "Italian" looking. I now have a hundred dollar rose sitting in my office. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I took my girlfriend out for dinner to a fancy Italian restaurant for our one year anniversary. After giving her some roses, freshly baked cookies, and a thoughtful poem I wrote for her, she started laughing and asked for her real gift. FML
Today, I bought my girlfriend a very expensive necklace. I gave it to her thinking she'd be extremely happy. Instead she was mad at me because my gift for our anniversary was better than hers. FML
Today, it's my wedding anniversary; my husband forgot. My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses and said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate. My daughter is more romantic and thoughtful than my own husband. FML
Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML
Today, for our 2-year anniversary, I bought my girlfriend a beautiful $400 necklace. She bought me a pink $5 shirt of Elton John riding a piano through space. FML
Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML
Today, I brought my girlfriend flowers. All she managed to do was to say, "It’s been a year since you brought me flowers." FML
Today, my girlfriend found an enormous rose arrangement in the back seat of my car. The flowers were from my fire chief to his wife. I forgot to deliver them. I now have to replace them since my girlfriend thinks I got them for her. The arrangement cost $225. FML
Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML
Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML
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Top comments
DaveMcRae 0
No offense, but your wife is an ignorant bitch.
boatkicker 5
aww. I'm sorry. that sucks. What does too "Italian" mean? whats wrong with italian looking things?
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Comments (199)
flyingpan8 0
you should sell that rose, then go to a ***** and make her suck your dick with the rose money. you should record it on your camera phone MMS it to your ungrateful wife. just for kicks, you should also blast some Pavarotti in the back ground.. after you have unloaded on the *****'s face and all, look into the camera, and ask your wife "was this too Italian for you too?"
xHaniffax 0
Oh dear, this made me cry....from laughing so much. *applauds*
Inoku 0
I feel your pain: my brother and I once bought a really nice table clock for my stepmom. She said it looked "too Portugie" and put it in a closet. The casual xenophobia of the older generations is so tacky.
ohnoyouDINT 0
almost as tacky as the whiny political correctness of the younger generation...
cuntfused 3
Awe...I'd love to receive that from my husband...
leili 0
Who cares if it's cheesy. What matters is the thought behind it. Your wife sounds like a bitch.
Luckster 0
Ungrateful bitch.... Don't get her anything next year. Just don't.
Protegas 0
Aw, that was cute. Did she get you anything?? She really doesn't deserve to get anything :l
plexico 4
Actually that's going to work out great for you! Bear with me. On our first anniversary, I got my wife a four hundred dollar watch and she didn't even thank me. She said it wasn't her style and I had to take it back. Ever since, I just get her a card, flowers and maybe a cheap-ass gift for all occasions afterward. That day sucked, but I've saved thousands of bucks since! So, yeah, you're out a C-note today, but you can shop for her from the dollar store from now on and spend what's left over on mistresses!
lmmmr 0
The dollar store sells "gold" tipped roses. He should have just started there to begin with.
DameGreyWulf 1
Your wife sounds like my dad. We (my mother and I) got him an expensive gold pocket watch, engraved with his initials, and in a style he apparently loved, all just for his birthday. It's now collecting dust in a plastic bowl on the dresser, along with crappy jewelry, dead batteries, little things along those lines... Didn't seem the least bit interested when presented with it, either.
papillonrouge_fml 0
haha! Yes. Do not spend $100 on anything you can find at the dollar store!
boatkicker 5
The difference being that the ones you get in the dollar store have petals made of cotton fabric, plastic stems and the gold is glitter, whereas the kind OP bought was a real flower with real gold. :D
lmmmr 0
But if it's the thought that counts, what's the difference?
moonsolomon 0
Uh... sure, plexico. I personally think that's a really sweet gift. I would totally appreciate it. The real irony would be if you were Italian... then it would just be awkward.
plexico 4
No, really, moonsolomon, it is really true! I was SHOCKED at her lack of gratitude. It totally lacked class and that is out of character for my wife. If there is any time to lie, it's when you get a gift you don't like. Pretend to like it, no matter what. A little later, you might want to see if you can change it for something you like better (but it should be similar.) My wife should have asked if we could exchange it for a watch she might like better.
xHaniffax 0
BUT IT'S A ROSE DIPPED IN *GOLD* HELLOO You'd have to be damn retarded not to "like" it! what more does she want? Due-drop shaped diamonds encrusted in it?!
lmmmr 0
Or just not materialistic.
boatkicker 5
Best comment!
BigSky 5
You are so romantic. Too bad your wife doesn't appreciate you. I'd love it if my husband gave me such a sweet present. I'd put it on my desk. I love Italian things but not sure iit would be "too Italian" or Italian at all. Next time just give her a gift certificate to a spa.