Today, I gave my mother a pre-prepared deposit envelope with my fortnightly wage in it, in cash. I tell her exactly where the deposit box is and what to do. I'm now desperately calling the bank because my mother accidentely put my $1200 deposit in the little trash can for receipts under the ATM. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Today, I figured out the bank account my mom set up for me is actually a joint account, and she gets half the money I deposit. I have been putting money in there for 10 years. FML
Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML
Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML
Today, my nosy mom opened my mail and saw how much I have in my account. She confiscated my debit card because she’s convinced no one could save that much working part time at Burger King and is demanding I confess where so much money came from. I'm moving out. Fuck her. FML
Today, I did the most idiotic thing someone living with their parents could possibly do. I made a separate online casino account in my mom's name (just her name, my email, phone number, etc.) When I deposited from my bank account, the site got suspicious, and is now making me and her sign a document to get the money out. FML
Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I got home from work to I find my cash box open and empty. My mom walked up and said, "If you have a lock that easy to pick, you don't deserve the money." There was 650 dollars in there. She refuses to give it back. FML
Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 5
Your mom is stupid. Yeah, FYL.
Tiefling_Tasha 0
Wow, definitely FYL. And punch your mom for us.
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Comments (106)
Nevrmore 0
Pre-Prepared Deposit Envelope... "That's another complaint of mine - too much use of this prefix "pre". It's all over the language now — "pre"-this, "pre"-that, place the turkey in a "pre-heated" oven. It's ridiculous! There are only two states an oven can possibly exist in: Heated or unheated! "Pre-heated" is a meaningless ******* term! It's like "pre-recorded" — "This program was pre-recorded." Well, of course it was pre-recorded! When else are you gonna record it, afterwards? That's the whole purpose of recording; to do it beforehand! Otherwise it doesn't really work, does it? "Pre-existing", "pre-planning", "pre-screening" — you know what I tell these people? Pre-suck my genital situation! And they seem to understand what I'm talking about." -George Carlin
bigcac 0
why the **** would you let your mom do it? especially if you had to explain in detail, a seemingly simple and mindless task... your fault for trusting an idiot...
giganticbrain 0
If you're so desperately calling banks, then why the hell are you spending the time to talk about it on FML?
kelsey_drives 0
you know it takes less than a minute to write three lines of text. calm down.
redxapplexoxo 0
Your mom's a dumbass.
fabbitsrabbit 0
i agree. ur mom fails at...life.
Cazly_420 0
Tisk Tisk, Mothers.
Benlvsceleste 0
YDI for letting someone else handle $1200 of your money.....so you have $1200, but you still nopt only live at home, but have your mother run your errands???: Really, and the folks on here are calling the MOM dumb????
fabbitsrabbit 0
WTF?! sexist asshole.
cherrypieguy 0
Im not a trollvbutcydivfor saying fortnightly and not biweekly.
cherrypieguy 0
sorry typign on ipod
KiwiDingo 0
not everyone is American dumbass. other countries call it fortnightly.
lorchan 0
You rock just for using the word 'fortnightly'
PirateXxEsque 0
It's an aussie thing to use fortnightly. I've never seen anyone say 'bi-weekly' Was it the Commonwealth by any chance? Cause I can see that happening at their atms.