Today, I gave my mother a pre-prepared deposit envelope with my fortnightly wage in it, in cash. I tell her exactly where the deposit box is and what to do. I'm now desperately calling the bank because my mother accidentely put my $1200 deposit in the little trash can for receipts under the ATM. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML
Today, I figured out the bank account my mom set up for me is actually a joint account, and she gets half the money I deposit. I have been putting money in there for 10 years. FML
Today, I discovered my own mother has been stealing money from me for months when I opened my savings box to find it empty. FML
Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML
Today, my nosy mom opened my mail and saw how much I have in my account. She confiscated my debit card because she’s convinced no one could save that much working part time at Burger King and is demanding I confess where so much money came from. I'm moving out. Fuck her. FML
Today, I did the most idiotic thing someone living with their parents could possibly do. I made a separate online casino account in my mom's name (just her name, my email, phone number, etc.) When I deposited from my bank account, the site got suspicious, and is now making me and her sign a document to get the money out. FML
Today, I told my mom about the $50 I'd hidden in case of an emergency, and how I couldn't find it. She said she'd borrowed it last week. FML
Today, I slipped money into my mother's purse after she refused to let me pay for lunch. She caught me in the act and thought I was stealing money from her instead. FML
Today, I got home from work to I find my cash box open and empty. My mom walked up and said, "If you have a lock that easy to pick, you don't deserve the money." There was 650 dollars in there. She refuses to give it back. FML
Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML
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Top comments
Intoxicunt 5
Your mom is stupid. Yeah, FYL.
Tiefling_Tasha 0
Wow, definitely FYL. And punch your mom for us.
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Comments (106)
girandwogpig 0
In reply to #9.......who wouldn't?
mordantennui 0
wow your mom fails at life
srslynow 0
YDI for not having killed such a stupid woman sooner.
arienh4 0
There's stupid and there's... unbelievable. And then there's your mother.
withsexyresults 0
That's too bad you lost your cash wages. Your pimp is probably going to be super pissed when you can't pay him.
0neiros 14
YDI for using the term Fortnightly. What...Were you paid by Shakespeare?
lmmmr 0
What's wrong with fortnight? And what's wrong with Shakespeare?
Intoxicunt 5
The reason he used "fortnightly" is probably because he has a decent vocabulary and doesn't think it's "cool" too look like an idiot and purposely stunt your own language skills to be like everyone else. Being average is overrated.
manoverboard 0
Yah, seriously? Not everyone's IQ matches their shoe size, you know.
DrAwesome 6
Also, she's in Australia, and I can bet at least $3.27 that #19 didn't notice. So, it might be normal there.
BeeSkwaird 0
Fortnightly means every two weeks. (Can't use "biweekly" because that also means twice per week.)
Hoax_fml 0
How about bimonthly? Also, pre-prepared deposit envelope? Might wanna cut out some redundancy and just say prepared deposit envelope. Or we could go nuts and just call it a "deposit envelope" because the "prepared" is very much implied.
helloletsgo 0
bimonthly can also mean once every two months
dollymyfolly 0
They should probably put the trash can for receipts in a different area to prevent any further chances of fail.
Starayo 1
I can't speak for that particular bank but every one I've seen in australia tends to have the ATMs (with the slot underneath for receipts) in a completely different area from quick deposits. The receipt bin is built into the ATM or at the very least the wall.
Weil 0
You should have done it yourself, you lazy asshole.
proud_liberal 0
you should be donating money to charity and black people instead of giving it to the greedy banks. YDI for trying to hoard money
copey 0
YDI for being lazy!
NewLight8421 0
to everyone saying "YDI for being lazy!!!" this is coming from a person that's sitting around commenting on fml?
helloletsgo 0
if she's making that much probably means she's working full time. maybe the mum doesn't work at all so it's not lazy but I wouldn't chance it