Today, I found why exactly my clothes always seemed more stretched out after about a week of owning them. My mom steals and wears them when she goes clubbing. My mom is 46, twice my size, and gets out more than me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I noticed some of my thongs were stretched out and now hung loose on my hips. I thought it might be the dryer set too hot but no, apparently my mom has been wearing them over her fat ass, and thought I wouldn’t mind since we occasionally share our hoodies. Not the same thing mom. GROSS. FML
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, I learned that my mother counts my jeans as two pairs when she counts how many she's putting in for a load of wash. I've gotten that fat. FML
Today, my friend insisted I wear her brand new hoodie for the day. When I gave it back after a few hours, she said she just needed it stretched and couldn't find someone fatter to stretch it for her. FML
Today, I noticed that my mom had been hiding all my leggings and yoga pants from me. Upon asking her, she admitted that she was jealous that my butt is bigger than hers, and that when I wear those types of pants, it's like I'm "rubbing it in". FML
Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML
Today, I realized that I haven’t lost weight. All my clothes have just stretched to fit. FML
Today, my mother gave me a dress she'd made for herself at twenty five. I’m seventeen. It fits around the stomach but is gappy all around my butt and boobs. Thank you for reinforcing my theory that I’m somehow both flat and fat at the same time, mom. FML
Today, my mom decided to do something new and borrowed some of my clothes. She's currently wearing a very small pair of short shorts and a very tight tank top. We're going to a very prestigious golf course and she won't change. FML
Today, my 50-year-old mother borrowed my denim miniskirt to go to the bar. In return, she offered to let me borrow her red "f*** me" pumps whenever I needed them. FML
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Top comments
noshitsherlock 0
That's really ****** up and gross. I'm sorry your mom is such a sloppy weirdo!
genius_man16 1
Wow, if you buy your own clothes you should demand that your mother pay you back for all the shit she's ruined.
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Comments (70)
Inked2009 0
I'd make her pay for replacments of every piece of clothing she ruined.
fireandice92 0
This is the story of my life! Except my mum is 42 and I'm 17, but still. Fyl for sure, cougers are awful aren't they?
Protegas 0
lol that sucks xD I used to steal my moms clothes, but we had basically the same problem. All her pants/shorts were too big for me, and her shirts were really baggy sometimes. Then, she would take mine and they would be a bit tight, but look good -.- Sad, sad. Fyl :P
LatinoHeat 0
YDI for having a fatass for a mom. Keep a harpoon by the door.
survivalism 0
What does age and size have to do with going out? Just open the door and walk outside, asshole.
SmittyJA24 26
Lock your closet & drawers... or move out. Good luck.
allmidnighteyes 11
your moms a cougar... RAWR
hmartin 0
ur pathetic
Person1233 13
You're*** Damn.. I'm correcting other people's grammar over the internet. . . . I need a life.
alsgirl 24
Me too. And collecting FML badges. FML
plexico 4
Good thing she can't borrow your ******!
chveya 6
What the ****?
Unregistered 0
ya cus if she could borrow her ****** she would bring it back stretched ohhhhhhhh HA! i see what you mean cus her mom gets laid. . . . a lot and she doesnt so her ****** would be tight ya. . .
Crunchy_fml 0
This has been the only comment of yours that was actually clever
Unregistered 0
well with a little help from me :) explaining it >.
CyclonePsycho 1
...explaining it does not make it funny...
gabbs1112 0
I hate it sooo much when people take my clothes...its like if you want it, go buy it yourself