Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML
Today, while visiting my in-laws, I went into their home office in search of a sheet of scrap paper. Instead, I found printed copies of every email and IM my husband and I had ever sent each other, including pictures. Highlighted and annotated by his mother. FML
Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML
Today, my wife threw my Macbook out a window and tore up important work documents, all because she saw me talking to a female colleague of mine. I confronted her about the damage, and she responded, "Go ask the bitch you were with the other day to help you with that." FML
Today, my wife got fired for leaving work early once again. She's been doing random "spot checks" for the past month, convinced that she'll catch me cheating on her. This paranoid crap is exactly why I'm filing for divorce. FML
Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML
Today, my wife admitted that she purposefully starts fights with me purely because she enjoys arguing and seeing me flustered. Don't marry a lawyer. FML
Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML
Today, I found out why my wife has been upset with me for the last week. She told me this morning that I did something to upset her on our date night last Friday, she won't tell me what, and she said she'll leave me if I do it again. FML
Today, my wife put divorce papers in my birthday card. FML
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Top comments
the_stereotype 0
we all have our ways of coping...? if it helps, get visa papers for a foreign country and tell her you're filling them out so you can remember the reasons you want to get away from her
hahathatsux 0
you should get a membership to a dating site and when she asks why say if she's that prepared to divorce you you should be equally prepared to find someone who isn't a total bitch
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Comments (116)
Glam_fml 0
Well, most people don't like having to decipher some people's idiotic comments. In case you haven't noticed, the majority of people on here type using correct grammar, spelling, and punctuation. I mean honestly, how hard is it to type "you" instead of "u" or "come" instead of "cum"? It just makes you seem like a lazy moron. And OP, that sucks. I say divorce her, since she obviously wants to divorce you. She is just waiting for a reason.
ravar5 0
i smell a divorce, she sounds like a horrible wife who isn't worth your time, sadly that's what she wants
MelanieBerrigan 0
LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO LMFAO
ithedarkone 0
well thats what you get for getting married know your partner before you get married so they don't pull some bs like this and mess up your credit tell me you were man enough to make her sign a prenup
tradit03 0
love the comments before actual flms.....
kingsley_fml 8
Is it really that reasonable to divorce somebody over a single reason? I suppose if by chance you left the lid up you'd be alone by the end of the week, am I right men? :P It sucks though, carry on.
Bart_Oranje 0
"I'm fettered and abused, stand naked and accused. Should I surface this one man submarine?"
teiso_fml 0
That's pretty bad! Definately something you're going to need to resolve. Maybe you two should see marriage counselling. Definately not a good thing that your wife doesn't have faith in the marriage.
canucksrule88 0
ya no kidding ur a messed up feminist that always assumes the worst
Sigmund_fml 0
a) you should increase your attraction b) your wife sucks