Today, I found out why my boyfriend wouldn't answer his phone last night. He was hanging out with our mutual friend all night. She had been texting me all night about what great sex she was having. My boyfriend was the only person there besides her brother. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out that when I text my boyfriend, he isn't the one to read them. Instead, he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." FML
Sexy talk
Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML
Keep it in the family
Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Today, while making love to my boyfriend, my sister called my cell phone. Not wanting to face the consequences of not answering, I had a long conversation with her. My boyfriend kept going. FML
Today, my boyfriend forgot to tell me about the all-night bender he went out on, and what he got up to with my best friend. But its okay; the Facebook pictures say it all. FML
Lonely, so lonely…
Today, to get my mind off being single, I texted some friends. The first one was going out tonight to work things out with her ex, the second told me about his amazing new girlfriend, and the third replied an hour later with, "Sorry, I was having sex when you texted me." FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML
Bisexual!
Today, I found a note in my boyfriend's phone titled "People's I've had sex with". There are also dates next to the notes which represented the day he had sex with them. Not only that it was NOT me who is the last person on the list, but I also realized that the last person on the list was my best friend. And he's a guy. FML
Top comments
taycandy96 2
*****!!!!
trebla3193 0
Eww a threesome with her brother that's just nasty.
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Comments (154)
kemando 22
couldn't've been that great if she was texting lol. (can you use 2 apostrophies in one word? i don't think so)
lovethejoker440 0
well your friend is a complete BITCH. and dump his sorry ass cuz obviously all he wants is a ****
amchan95 0
hopefully her brother got a hold of her phone and was messing with you
jcdiva7 0
Some friend and boyfriend they are. They deserve each other. Perk up
bizarre_ftw 22
Threesome? No one thought of that right? :P
pianogirl12345 8
Why would she be texting you while she was having sex?!
newmandotcom 6
Maybe it was her brother....
bjobabygirl 12
You mean ex-boyfriend now right
Friendzonian 0
Woah, that would suck either way. Dang
cherryllollo 7
Maybe ur bf was hanging out with ur friends bro. And she had her own bf come over and sexed him... just cuz they were at the same house, doesn't mean they were hanging out together