Health: Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap...

By fuzzy1895 - 11/09/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 303

You deserved it 2 576

Health

Late term

Sorry…

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 07/06/2014 05:15 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I was disciplined by my boss for "not smiling enough." I'm a dishwasher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 327

You deserved it 4 819

By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 19:48 - United States

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 131

You deserved it 2 516

By ZydecosGirl - 10/05/2013 03:11 - United States - Harrisburg

Today, I started the bleaching treatments that my dentist recommended. Now, my two front teeth have ultra white spots, the rest of my teeth are still yellow and the roof of my mouth is burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 986

You deserved it 8 549

By heartbroken - 23/01/2013 13:57 - Australia - Chatswood

Today, my boyfriend was in the shower and his phone was buzzing with calls and texts. Concerned as his nan is in ICU, I picked it up to find he's been secretly sexting his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 572

You deserved it 6 078

By fmlimoverit - 12/09/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months broke up with me because he felt "our religious differences kept us apart." We've never talked about anything religious. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 182

You deserved it 3 674

By Syd - 21/12/2012 16:00 - United States - Plano

Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 608

You deserved it 18 520

By WHAT A NICE GUY YOU ARE, SIR SHITSPAWN!!!1! - 09/08/2013 22:13 - United States

Today, this weird kid in class asked me on a date. He claims to be a werewolf. His excuse for not being able to turn into one? A "rare disease." His excuse for everyone rejecting him? "Friend-zoning bitches." I was the last resort even for a jackoff "nice guy" werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 342

You deserved it 3 696

By SadDad - 22/09/2012 18:11 - United States - Alexandria

Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 284

You deserved it 9 773

By gimpy - 04/01/2012 16:55 - United States

Today, I had to cut short my New Year's resolution of going to the gym daily, when the meathead next to me dropped some heavy weights, which bounced and landed on my foot. I'm sitting at home in a cast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 785

You deserved it 2 471

By Rman - 02/11/2009 22:35 - United States

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 560

You deserved it 41 871

Wakey wakey

By zzzzzz - 30/01/2021 07:59

Today, my boyfriend had an appointment he had to wait months for, after he finally agreed to try to figure out what's making him so tired all the time. He slept through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 750

You deserved it 88

By trgtyo - 18/05/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 652

You deserved it 3 596

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 973

You deserved it 3 487

By King7 - 09/01/2010 10:17 - Pakistan

Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 706

You deserved it 42 321

By Noname - 25/11/2008 18:05 - Canada

Today, I was going to confess to my best friend that I am madly in love with her. I called her up only to find her crying. She was upset that she might be pregnant with some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 927

You deserved it 2 875

By Noname - 02/03/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 498

You deserved it 7 586

By stuck - 11/08/2010 12:01 - Australia

Today, because the two other managers decided to go on a spa day together, I had to stay at work despite the fact I spent most of the day throwing up in the bathroom. They called me to say what a good day they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 229

You deserved it 2 898

Bushy

By Mustache - 03/11/2020 14:02 - Austria

Today, I was on my way to meet my partner's parents for the first time. Although I was in a rush, I managed to hop into the shower and shave. I now have a cut on my upper lip. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 864

You deserved it 223

By DarkMaskDiva - 16/06/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, I found out the medications my doctor gave me for depression are making me fat. My main reason for depression is an eating disorder. Now, I'm fat instead of just thinking I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 065

You deserved it 6 098

By itssomething - 01/03/2016 20:15 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, my closest encounter to having sex in the last four months was getting chlamydia from Russell Brand. In a dream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 503

You deserved it 2 612

By RestlessDiesel - 18/04/2016 14:40 - United States - Hudson

Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 999

You deserved it 1 823

My body hates me

By HappilyNeverAfter - 18/09/2014 03:14 - Canada - Port Perry

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 778

You deserved it 5 255

By idk ask freud - 04/07/2013 04:11 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up from an extremely intense and pleasurable wet dream. This wouldn't have been bad, had it not been about Velveeta cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 643

You deserved it 9 859

By earplugsplease - 16/05/2013 16:16 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 958

You deserved it 3 573

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 04:26 - United States - Austin

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 806

You deserved it 6 720

Bear of a man

By Marcus Whitfield - 14/03/2020 15:00

Today, I came to the unsettling realisation that the 2XL jacket that was originally 3 sizes too big for me is now a perfect fit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 451

Unfortunate

By Anonymous - 16/01/2021 08:01

Today, I was eatings a bag of chips when one of the pieces broke off into a sharp point and when I chewed it, it stabbed into my gums. When I got up to wash the blood out of my mouth, I hit my big toe on my desk corner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 111

By Carla - 12/11/2017 01:30

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night choking and had to open my bedroom window. No, it wasn’t a gas leak. My husband had a curry last night and his constant farting was so bad I was struggling to breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 730

You deserved it 415

By biglady - 17/02/2011 07:02 - Canada

Today, I downloaded an application for my phone that reads whatever you type out loud. I started making it say things like "You like it when daddy spanks your tight little ass don't you?" Just as the message was playing back out loud, my mom walked up the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 490

You deserved it 55 433

By thoughtitwasspecial - 18/05/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I found a link to a porn website on my boyfriend's computer. A bit jealous, I asked why it was there. He told me that he thought thinking of me might get boring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 452

You deserved it 20 667

By seepeezy32 - 02/02/2011 02:32

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 296

You deserved it 71 272

By Anonymous - 24/08/2015 04:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 004

You deserved it 27 040

By morning_glory - 27/01/2015 21:17 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 777

You deserved it 2 238

By Anonymous - 18/08/2016 20:44 - United States - High Point

Today, while driving to a client's home, I received a text. Since I loathe those who text and drive, I pulled into a convenience store's parking lot. While I was texting, a car sped into the lot, rear-ending my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 255

You deserved it 1 111

By notpregnant - 21/12/2009 18:12 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to "It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood." My cousin, seeing the status, failed to pick up on the sarcastic humor. She called all my family members and tell them that I was pregnant. Including my husband in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 825

You deserved it 13 966

TMI

By Grossedouttt - 04/07/2009 04:18 - United States

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 310

You deserved it 3 694

Doin' it for the 'gram

By My sister is a scumbag - 09/04/2021 17:00

Today, my sister refuses to talk to me because I didn't post her a "Happy birthday" in an Instagram story. It seems that the iPhone 12 I gave her as a present is just not enough. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a man I met on Halloween. It appears that his mullet wasn't actually part of his costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 657

You deserved it 7 210

By dentistvictim - 16/10/2009 07:27 - Norway

Today, I went to the school dentist for the yearly routine check. She took ages trying to clean out my teeth with the metal toothpick-thing, constantly hitting my gums. After half an hour of pain and spitting blood, she looks up and says, laughing: "Oh, I forgot to put my glasses on". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 697

You deserved it 2 695

Medicare For All

By Anonymous - 10/05/2021 08:01

Today, it's Mother’s Day. It's also the day I’m expected to pay a very large medical bill due to my miscarriage of twin babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 489

You deserved it 77

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Top comments

StrickenAza34 4

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:19

stick cyanide in his...

bekababy94 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:23

how did he get that much cat fur.?

iLoveFloyd 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:17

damn.

azmuth29 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:34

i am osssim

ryanmoore23 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 17:17

man that sucks

Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 2:39

throw your xbox at him and say " well you got what you wanted " and make sure it knocks him out then super glue cat hair on him mwahahahshahawhahvjwhauahagrmdigagahahafksaha my wisdom helps all

ieron159 4

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:17

I like ur little bro :)

legonut4 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:42

skin him alive?

Sonfang 19

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:44

Wow, my little bro and I argue and fight but we've never tried to kill one another...hrm maybe he'll grow up to be an assassin? Hopefully he'll stop trying to kill you, try sharing with him.

lexie206 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:57

Haha, that's something my little brother would do to me. Except he'd do it to just be a jerk. Anyways- FYL op, that does suck

junkboy 4

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Saturday 11 September 2010 19:05

if i had a little bro, and he did that, i would f*ck up his room then beat the crap out of that little brat. allergies can be deadly.

Ali_Br_fml 33

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Saturday 11 September 2010 19:10

if I had a little brother, & he did that, I wouldn't have a little brother anymore. I'm allergic to cats and pollen and such. don't mess with my allergies!

tooGee24 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 20:50

it was worth the try I guess haga

MarkeiMark 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 21:53

and after you skin him, make the fucker walk on broken glass and salt. allergies are not to be played with!

iskusmarines 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 22:58

noscope ur bro repeatedly

deaper 15

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Sunday 12 September 2010 1:17

I don't! I say you should beat the shit out of him!

ctFIRE216 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 12:48

beat his ass

MXXD17 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:17

sucks for you

TotalStar 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 17:36

YDI for having a little brother that plays xbox

d_dubz86 1

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Saturday 11 September 2010 19:34

What's up with this picture? o_O

coolguy0040 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:18

ydi for not giving him your xbox

stevendsi 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:42

y would he

thebatboy 4

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Saturday 11 September 2010 17:10

you jackass, why would he give away his x-box???

Eric123456789000 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 18:20

I hate people like you who say ydi for the stupidest reasons, if not no reason at all

GreatMelinko 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:18

sucks to b u. :/ can I have ur xbox? seems like it would solve all your problems,....

StrickenAza34 4

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:19

stick cyanide in his...

Schizomaniac 24

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:30

I wouldn't go that far...

sprawlguard 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 4:03

happiness lol

canadian_ftw 8

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:20

smart kid. but that does suck.

XxGingerBbyxX 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:22

what's tufts?

Suth3rnB3lla 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:23

like little balls or patches of something in this Cade he found little ball of cat fur in his pillow

BlakeeeDrummer 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 17:26

your plain stupid and u look like it

hanhanjr 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 19:03

u fail

bagofpopkern 18

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Sunday 18 January 2015 8:38

It's not that big of a deal. Calm down. ^^

bekababy94 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:23

how did he get that much cat fur.?

anorexicbarbie 8

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Saturday 11 September 2010 19:37

Cats leave their hair everywhere..

saywhaaat_01 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 16:24

hahaha smart little brotherr ;P

Jegro 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 18:23

nice tits

WhyTheFace4 0

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Saturday 11 September 2010 18:42

How can you tell? Do you have X-ray vision? I never thought it would work on pictures. That's crazy!!

JustinKingr 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 0:30

no the brother is dumb... throw the xbox in a river and get a PlayStation 3

Luissoto 0

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Sunday 12 September 2010 15:50

ps3 is gay

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 46

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 26

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 111

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 42

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