Transportation: Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later... - FML

By brokeasajoke - United States

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

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Mother of the year

Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop

Halloween came early

By grounded. - United States

Today, I'm a 25-year-old married woman and I'm currently living with my grandfather to take care of him. Today, he grounded me. FML

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By laundry day again... - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML

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By anonbob - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because apparently my mom hates him and doesn't want us to be together. My mom died six years ago. FML

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By armenta427 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents are 28,000 dollars in debt and that my bank account has $27.17 in it. They took my money to help pay their debt. FML

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By jenny2989 - United States

Today, I reached behind my couch to plug my phone charger in. My arm got stuck and I had to wait for my roommate to get home to help me. FML

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By angie429 - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to my family's traditional late Thanksgiving dinner. While eating, my mom brought up celebrity infidelity. My grandpa ended up looking me in the eye and saying, "Look Angie, sometimes what a man has just isn't enough. When that happens, cheating is forgiveable." FML

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By lady parts - United States - Lake Bluff

Today, I was being interviewed for a grant over the phone. When asked why I wanted to go to school to be an OB nursing assistant, I panicked and yelled, "BECAUSE VAGINAS ARE FASCINATING!" into the receiver. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

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By good husband - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend scratch her crotch and then sniff her fingers. FML

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By gotta love my momma - United States - Folsom

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

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By lonelygirl - Canada - London

Today, my boyfriend promised me he wouldn't leave me alone in Niagara. I'm currently sitting alone in the hotel room drinking a bottle of wine while he gambles away money he doesn't have. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after months of hardcore training, free of injuries, I pinched a nerve in my neck while putting on a swimsuit to lie in the sun doing nothing. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I went to get a haircut. Who shows up not 5 minutes later to also get a haircut? My obnoxious, bully of a boss. She started chatting with me across the salon the entire time. There was no way to get out of the conversation. FML

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By "refines"

Today, I woke up to my living room covered in 8 cm of water. My $2k computer was on that floor. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a big family dinner. I didn't realize I hadn't been invited until we were about to sit down to eat. There were 12 chairs, 12 plates, 12 forks, and 12 glasses. I was the 13th person to arrive. FML

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By blahblah - United States - Richardson

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

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By middleagednurse - United States - Miami

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

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By hardee fucking har yourself, sir - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Seattle

Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML

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By Carrie - France

Today, I'm a medicine student, it's my sixth year, and I have spent the whole day in surgery. No one dared tell me that what I was wearing on my feet was actually supposed to be put over my hair. Which was embarrassing. FML

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By badmom - Canada

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

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By brokenheart

Lust at First Sight

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years is leaving me for someone he met once at graduation 2 days ago. Apparently it was a magical "love at first sight" experience. FML

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By Bittersweet

Today, after 10 years of frequent international air travel, I got my seat upgraded for the very first time. Also, for the very first time in 10 years, the airline lost my luggage. FML

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By OMGWTF - United States

Today, while biking home from work, a 12 mile trip, I was speeding down a long hill and my jean pant leg got caught in the chain. It ripped, and then the rest of my pant leg ripped off. I had to bike 10 more miles half naked along the highway. FML

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By rachelllynne - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, the woman I babysat for blamed me for the cut on her son's face, and fired me with no pay for not looking after him properly. He already had the cut when I arrived. FML

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By joeidk - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML

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By illjustlimpthen - United States - Waukesha

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I taught my kid how to mow the lawn. It's a self-propelling mower so it's easy to handle. My kid thought it would be smart to tie the handle down so that he wouldn't have to push it at all. This resulted in the lawn mower blasting through our fence and sinking into my neighbor's pool. FML

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By hellosir - United States

Today, while at my dorm, I experienced a vomit-inducing migraine. In my hurry to get to the bathroom to puke, I couldn't find a pair of shoes. I urgently needed the toilet, so I braved the communal bathroom barefoot. As I opened the stall door, I stepped in someone else's fresh vomit. FML

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By Anonymous - France

Today, I wanted revenge on my college's drinks machine. For the past two days, it forgot to release a cup before pouring my coffee. This time, I had planned ahead; I put my money in, entered the code, and quickly inserted my own cup. It gave me hot water. FML

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By Grossed_out - United States

Today, I had to listen to a girl who just came back from the bathroom, talk about the "gigantic massive dump" she took, and even held her hands up to show the size. FML

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By mat - France

Today, me and my family watched the video of my birth. In the video, when my mother sees me for the first time, she says "God he's ugly!" FML

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By Wilhelm - Philippines - Makati

Today, I heard water dripping at the back of our house. I went to investigate, only to find a man peeing on our garden gnome. FML

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By ouch - United States

Today, the roads were OK, so I cleaned the ice and snow off my car so I could go out. I rolled my window down a little bit while I was driving to clear the snow off the base of the window. A chunk of ice flew off my hood, in through the window, and hit my eye. I then hit a snowbank. FML

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By NotoriousSRJ - Canada

Today, I got pulled over by a cop. Since my window wasn't working, I opened the door, causing him to run towards me with a drawn gun. He then had a go at me with his night stick. After realizing my window was broken, he laughed and let me off with a warning. FML

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By Dogsbody

Today, I noticed that my dad scolds me in the same tone of voice that he uses to scold our two dogs. Gives a whole new meaning to being treated like a dog. FML

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By daddyslittlegirl250 - United States

Today, we watched a movie in French class. I went on a French exchange last year, so I wanted to sound all impressive and cultured for my crush who is in the same class. I said that it was my favorite movie and I couldn't wait to watch it with everyone. The movie turned out to be about incest. FML

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By Anon - United States

Today, I was called an assortment of names and was almost followed home by a crazy bitch. Why? Because I stated that it was unsanitary for her to bring her dog to a grocery store. She clearly disagreed. FML

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Top comments

By kerrygirl | 13

#666307 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:07

get your dad to pay the impound fees.......

By Erindub | 0

#666401 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:44

Do whatever you can to pay them ASAP cause the fees go up by the day and soon you'll lose your car for good. FYL : (

COMMENTS

By kerrygirl | 13

#666307 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:07

get your dad to pay the impound fees.......

Reply

whatevaaaa | 0

#666390 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:37

exactly!!! he's the one who screwed up in the first place. FYL. :(

Reply

spiderman0606 | 0

#666605 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 22:22

I'm guessing the dad cant pay right now because he is arrested...

Reply

jakeJIGSAW | 2

#666873 - Thursday 12 November 2009 0:44

Come on, she obvs isn't that clever to work that out haha

Reply

irishdancer | 0

#666874 - Thursday 12 November 2009 0:44

OP asks a LOT of questions!

Reply

colts609380 | 7

#1118879 - Wednesday 21 July 2010 10:01

who?

By WorkThatButt | 2

#666314 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:09

Omg I'm first shut up insert a "wedontcarecommenthere" kkthnxbai

By Forremmy | 0

#666319 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:10

ahh that sucks :/

By YDI_King | 0

#666321 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:11

YDI. why would you trust family?

By c3bu | 0

#666333 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:14

i don't know... who? it's kinda hard to figure out...

Reply

plutosaplanet | 0

#666405 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:44

im thinking the dad right? because hes the one who got the car impounded i would assume he would pay for it.....this stupid fml sucks balls

By chandlerp | 8

#666340 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:16

make ur dady pay its his faulty

By Gam0r | 0

#666341 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:16

In that case im guessing he had no insurance meaning an impounding also? YDI without details still sucks though!

Reply

polico_wolf | 0

#666374 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:30

yeah he was you idiot. thats what "barly making it" means you "brat"

Reply

cheeeeeeers | 3

#3407566 - Sunday 9 October 2011 3:50

Um they will take the car regardless of if they have insurance.

By anchang | 0

#666359 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:24

loser

Reply

TriflingAllDay | 6

#4648102 - Wednesday 4 July 2012 6:45

Dude really?

By ChurchofFagenism | 0

#666362 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:25

are you related to the person who's dad told them to flee the scene of an accident from a few FMLs down? FYL but also fuck your dad, just in general, what a douchebag.

By bloodycarrot | 0

#666366 - Wednesday 11 November 2009 20:27

This is why I refuse to help family in any way that can come back to hurt me.