By Anonymous - 09/01/2011 01:11 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife was having sex with my friend. It turned out that my genius cat realized it wasn't me there and attacked his balls, severely cutting them. I now have to kill my cat and pay for his medical bills to sew his balls back. FML
I agree, your life sucks 77 346
You deserved it 4 154

Same thing different taste


I love your cat for defending you! Sorry to hear that your wife was cheating and you have to put down the cat:( I say you and the cat run off together.

perdix 29

Yeah. And the only thing you ought to give your "friend" is a copy of Ted Nugeñt's "Cat Scratch Fever."

princesszeebunny 0
DudeImBetter 0

That is some complete b s that you have to put your cat down, I'm actually pissed off cause of that. I have to agree, this is the best. I can't think of anything else that would be worse than this fml.

the cat just wanted some action with mans balls...

all the cat wanted was some action... but the man was hogging the wife so he sliced his balls open. firetruck.

122; OP shouldn't need to pay for the 'surgery' anyway. If OP is married, then his cat is also his wife's cat, meaning his wife should either have to pay or at least pay half. And the shit about putting the cat down... give it to a relative until you sort your stuff out and just say you did put it down.

Sydknee 8

awww.. I don't see why you have to put down your cat, he didn't even kill the person, and yet when a person kills a person we don't always kill the killler.

Nor when a person kill an animal (and I mean 4 the heck of it), there's something wrong with us humans

jiggyjiggz 0

I am trying to think of the position they were in for the cat to slice the balls. it sounds intriguing.

rinoa_fml 10

His wife probably doesn't work and the state is probably making him put his cat down so they can check its brain for rabies.

melanie177 1

I agree completely with #18 :)

Dude don't be an ass hat putting down a cat sucks and his situation already sucked there is no bright side

best cat ever! Dont kill it take it somewhere and say u shot it a threw it in a river so they cant ask for the body. then put down ur wife or at least divorce that freaking ***** and dont pay shit for his balls. make her pay it she owns the cat too legally if ur married, and it happened under her supervision. Her fault. And get rid of your friend.

zaadam2 5

#1 - Awesomeeee cat #2 - I really, really, really doubt a cat could damage balls that bad. But then again, I've never experienced my balls being attacked like that :P. #3 - I don't see how you would really be liable for his medical records. I could see why given the sad state of affairs with the misuse of the courts why you might have to but you'd have an EXCELLENT chance in court of not having to pay for anything if you wanted.

trying to think of a position where the cat couldn't get to the balls

and what are you going to do with your wife?

I'm sure the vet would offer a two for one deal in this case...hell, he should bring the friend, might get a bulk rate

I got a shotgun in the back of my truck........

Dump the bitch, keep the cat, and neuter your friend... oops, too late. I feel so bad for you man, FYL

Mortoli 30

yea I wouldn't put it down or pay for the surgery

sue for animal abuse! the cat didn't have to see his junk ):

Perhaps the cat was seeking vengeance, for his own possible neuter! If so, his balls were cut open with a scalpel blade before being removed, so he just wanted revenge on the nearest pair to take out his anger and tainted manhood. Just a guess though.

jazziness 12

yeah y would u have to kill he did u a favor!!

Don't do anything to the cat, please. Divorce the bitch and make her pay for the man-**** surgery.

The council is probably forcing him to kill as the cat is "dangerous".

Yeah, it was just being a good guard cat. If someone it doesn't know is ******* your owner, what else are you supposed to do? Good cat.

kill your wife, remove 'his' balls and live with cat.

this!!! :D that cat was defending you! don't kill it!

backdownbreh 0

it's not like he has a choice 13...

Why wouldn't he have a choice? I imagine the cat was doing what any normal animal would in its situation and defending its territory by attacking the strange thing that had come in to it.

141: he may not have a choice because many states require that any animal that attacks a person must be put down. it's to avoid further incidents. personally, i think it's a completely idiotic law. if a dog/cat bites or scratches a stranger who has provoked them, that's a natural reaction. people react the same exact way. well, we don't bite, but we do punch or shove on reflex when something startles us, threatens us, etc.

I agree with 310. The cat was the hero of the situation!! And now it will die as a result of doing the right thing. How unjust. Also, what 310 said reminds me of BuckBeak in HP3

Tweety122888 0
MrChocolateburri 0

depending on what state you live in, you might be able to sue for alienation of love.

i know adultery is a crime in some state but "alienation of love".

Here in Illinois, I believe there is still a law concerning alienation of affection. Dunno about Texas. Don't kill your cat, bro, and certainly don't pay for your "friend's" surgery. If he wants to make a big deal about it, let him. He can make it a big neighborhood scandal, and everyone will think he's a tosser, a real prick, and will laud your cat for his loyalty. Especially if your "friend" is married; won't his missus love to hear that story circulating!

nor would I pay a dime.. It's that jackasses own fault he knew better

nikki_4eva 0

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PurplePeeps 0

Please tell me that the quotes were used to refer to the idiocity of some other person, and that's not really how you believe 'accidentally' is spelt. Hell, who am I kidding? I ask too for too much.

ohthebloodygore 16

She actcadentally made that spelling error.

"idiocity" Well that is a new one, can't say I've heard that one before.

Please tell me that's a typo and you don't really think Idiocity is a real word.

let's just gaze at her picture.... hmmm

Idiocity is plausible as some people say it instead of idiocy. I've even heard it on TV. Yeah it may not be correct but it still fit.

I think they meant act like your cat accidentally got hit by a car and they just put the word together. so that way he won't have to kill his cat.