By Anonymous - 08/01/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I went to my dad and new stepmom's house for the week. Upon arrival, I was handed mouthwash, deodorant, and lice shampoo. The guest bed I was told I'd be sleeping in was fitted with a plastic mattress cover. I don't have lice and I don't wet the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 077
You deserved it 2 859

Same thing different taste

Top comments

You are inferring all wrong. They are clearly telling you that you have bad breath, you stink, and you're going to get lice from the last person who slept on that bed.


or maybbe their just telling you something :P

LOOL 50. That pic just made my day. xD

I do believe, this girl used to go to my school. :~| hmmm.. also, I do believe I have her on facebook...

50, I think I'm permanently scarred from your picture.

tpreston 0

45 I like you're halo 3 poster

Dirtbikerchick 4

HAHAHA sick. They must think very low of you.. D:

Maybe, the husband thought since he came from his ex-wives house he would be smelly and have lice.

You are inferring all wrong. They are clearly telling you that you have bad breath, you stink, and you're going to get lice from the last person who slept on that bed.

yanksby7 6

Yup. Or maybe the OP'a hygiene is so poor that they are honestly worried that he HAS lice and want to protect their sheets. OP, you didn't mention this, but are you moving in with them because you have you recently been homeless?

Dirtbikerchick 4

Haha, lice like clean scalps though, don't they? Maybe they're a half clean hobo.. :0

FYLDeep 25

Doc, I'm not used to you getting this so wrong. They obviously think he's a total **** and is gonna bang a bunch of people in that bed. You don't want **** stains everywhere obviously. The lice shampoo is for his crabs and the mouthwash is for cleaning his mouth out when he's done going down on those blue-waffled bitches.

noto_fml 0

That apostrophe somehow managed to jump backwards one whole word. That's amazing! Show us your secret!

then how would explain the extra "e" ? lol

C6Racer 0

LMAO, Doc. It's a flying comma.

jaesm17 5

and that kid somehow manages to stand with such a big head!

FFML_314 11

You're truly a moron, 48. Try and think of something clever to say before you type another comment.

Doc! I see you haven't changed! Good work.

jaesm17 - I find it truly pathetic that the best you can do is to insult a little 4 year old girl. How sad. My only hope is for a hawk to pick you up and drive its beak into your pathetic little brain, but, finding it rotten, set you loose again to fly briefly before spattering the rocks below with the frothy red shame of your worthless blood. 

FFML_314 11

I was hoping a tiger would savagely rip his feet off and let her cubs feed off his useless body for hours, before they drag him into the ocean for the fish to finish him off. Doc, I missed your sadistic self. :D

FFML, you know the feeling is mutual. I will rabidly defend my daughter no matter what. Anyone else feeling extra manly want to take a shot at a preschooler?

FFML_314 11

You know I'm right there with you. Anyone that can insult an innocent child, is a pusillanimous douche dag.

at least this commenter tried to use his commas it's just not working out for him..poor guy.

Yah doc, you probably have no clue who I am. But in my opinion your little girl looks sweet. Don't listen to those useless bastards.

Hmm, this might be a hint that they don't want you as their guest.

jaesm17 5

God damnit, so far I've heard Ariel the mermaid, Tinkerbell and now a flowerpenis? :( It's time for a new picture.

LightningLadyy 0

Really? Flower penis? You're an idiot. Everyone can clearly see that it's a damn cow.

is it cupcakes? I agree picture change time and it would be a light penis not a flower penis.. clearly.

They just care about your hygiene, apparently you dont haha