Today, I found out that my neighbors' 9 year old son has been the one taking a shit on my doorstep everyday. Why? Because Cartman from South Park said that if you keep doing it, the person in the house will move. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I saw a kid taking a dump next to my lawn. The good news: his mother picked up the poop to discard it. The bad news: she put it in my mailbox. I now have a pile of smelly brownish tissue-wrapped goo baking under the hot sun inside my mailbox. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, I opened my front door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML
Today, I learned that my neighbor of 9 years has a kid. I learned this after I knocked down his snowman. FML
Today, we found out why we were getting notes on our door telling us to "move out or else." As my mom works for the government and we have a direct-TV dish on our roof, our neighbor thinks we were sent to listen to his phone calls and read his mind. We were here before he was. FML
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
Today, after weeks of asking my neighbor nicely to pick up his dog’s crap out of the common area, I got fed up and reported him to the landlord and the city. He’s now been given two options; either get rid of his dog or move out. He’s now sworn revenge on me, even though he was the one being gross. FML
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Top comments
GeekMaster6000 3
wow. Someone should beat some sense into that kid.
wazzup182FML 3
pick up his shit and rub it in his face!
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Comments (234)
Avalanches 9
Watching South Park as I'm reading this. ;)
itsmeppl 0
I think he's trying to tell you something
nucky_fml 5
Right, OP should take the hint
sematariux 7
are you considering moving? he may be right might be something I need to look into
Tmcalister21 0
That did happen on south park
deidre823 7
Haha...I saw that episode.
13Blah13 0
Some people need to re-read this...but Yeah, FYL
summerloolooloo 0
Are you Jewish then?
deputy_g 5
you should take a dump on his porch and reciprocate
NANDwich 5
POOP ON HIS HOUSE. MAYBE POOP ON HIM TOO. LOOK AT ME, I'M SO CLEVER, LET'S PUNISH THE NINE-YEAR OLD OURSELVES INSTEAD OF HIS PARENTS IN THE MOST IMMATURE WAY POSSIBLE.
cyanidesandwich 21
Haha THAT'S ******* GENIUS!!!