Today, I found out that my mother has been purposely wrecking every relationship I've had since junior high because ''no one is good enough for her little girl''. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out that in the past, my mother has paid or outright threatened my girlfriends into breaking up with me, because they were, "unsuitable trash not fit to be the mothers of my future grand babies." This explains why I’m 47 and have never married or had children. FML
Today, I found out that my mother was having an affair with my boss "to help me keep my job" because she thought I was useless. FML
Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
Today, I found out that my mother has been telling everybody that I’m a lesbian, because both of her best friends have at least one gay child each, and she was feeling left out. This explains why people have been treating me differently the last few weeks. FML
Today, just because my mum's friend's son got better grades than me, she's now treating me like shit. You know what lady? His mom is way better than you too! She didn't attempt to kill her child half a dozen times, and you don't see me complaining about it all day long. FML
Today, I called my mom to see how she was doing. She quickly hijacked the conversation and said that she's signed me up for a dating site, because she feels bad that I can't find a decent man. I've been dating my boyfriend for seven months, and she's seen me with him multiple times. FML
Today, I finally accepted my mom will never be a good person, and I'm looking forward to her dying. Apparently, she'd been telling everyone I was a difficult child. I was cooking dinner for her and her boyfriends way back in elementary school. FML
Today, my mother is mad at me because I dared, yes DARED, to go out with a girl who stands up to her instead of just meekly doing what she tells her. Which should tell you exactly what sort of woman my mother is, so you know this FML is just the tip of my lifelong misery iceberg. FML
Today, my mom tried to give me a pep talk to boost my self confidence. Somehow, it ended up turning into a conversation about how much of a loser I am and how I have no friends. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Just tell her you've been sneaking around behind her back and have gotten 3 abortions so far.
541 0
that sucks. glad my parents aren't oveprotective.
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Comments (91)
Emperor_Jim 0
There needs to be a special section on FML for psycho moms.
whiners 0
Keep telling yourself that, princess. Every guy in the world is thankful.
fnyunj 3
No one is or ever will be good enough. You'll see. You won't need your mother to show you that.
blastvortex 4
Tell her off. Disown her too if you want.
mason022 0
Wow, someones mama needs to cut the cord!!
mrlucky4444 0
it's the thought that counts?
sydeshow 0
a lot of parents are like that. fyl though
caseycallaghan 0
put her in an old folks home
lawllercoasters 0
tell your mom to **** off and stay out of your business
caiyaguang 0
It's time to move out.