By help - 05/01/2015 18:52 - Malta - Naxxar

Today, I finally got a restraining order against my violent ex. My mom now keeps finding ways to tell me how shitty I am for breaking the "poor boy's" heart and how I didn't deserve him anyway. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 931
You deserved it 2 789

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don't let her get into your head, you're a very brave person for getting the police involved. you did the right thing no matter what she says

Don't let it get to you. What went on behind closed doors between you & him & your safety is what matters. Your mom sees things from one side & from the sounds of it he obviously made an effort to give others one impression & treat you another way

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I think a monkey could've established that from reading the FML. Op, believe in yourself and f*** the people that don't stand by your side at these harsh moments. Your mom is clueless and naive.

Come on now, you really don't see the pun?

We see the pun, but it's a lot like Jerry from Parks and Recreation.

We see the pun. We just don't care for these puns anymore.

It wasn't even a pun; there was no play on words. He simply mimicked OP's diction.

This is the single most overused pun in the book. You realize this, right?

Shitty situation is a rarely accepted pun in FML comments. It gets down voted 99% of the time.

I'm confused what to Vote for....

In a way, you didn't deserve him. Dude sounds like a cunt.

The mom's the cunt.

The mom is a total scumbag. The bf was violent!!!! 1/3 women are assaulted everyday, this is a serious thing and should not be perpetuated.

Not saying people don't get beaten, not saying people should get beaten, but cut the feminist bullshit. Way less than 1/3.

29, don't believe everything you read online. 64% of statistics are made up, ya know. ;)

#29 just mixed up his stats guys. -One in 3 women will be abused in her lifetime -Every 15 seconds a woman is beaten -Feminism isn't bullshit http://www.domesticpeace.com/ed_nationalstats.html

Feminism isn't bullshit, but harping about it is. Just as many men are in abusive relationships. You don't hear about it because men are told it can't or doesn't exist.

44-- men should speak up! I totally agree. it's bullshit how society tells men that they have to be emotionless and strong. Yall can cry too!!!

#44 I never said men aren't beaten or that it shouldn't be spoken about. Domestic abuse, no matter the gender of the victim/perpetrator is a feminist issue/societal issue that needs to be talked about. It is heartbreaking that men are abused and feel they cannot speak up because they feel people will think he is "less of a man". A goal of feminism is to break gender roles and that includes man's stereotype of constant strength and inability to be overcome. Feminists stand with male abuse victims and those who do not, are not real feminists. Check out Shia lebeouf's case for example.

I know I'm going to regret saying this because I hate online arguments, but feminism means trying to get females to have the same rights as males, not simply getting equal rights for both genders. That isn't me "misunderstanding feminism" - it's the dictionary definition. The word for the belief that both genders should have the same rights is egalitarianism. Stop trying to redefine a movement focused on women's rights so that it includes men's rights, in an attempt to kid yourself you're actually doing something for men, when in fact feminism has hurt men far more than it has helped them. In the workplace, female candidates are frequently chosen over men with better qualifications, simply because there is a higher ratio of men to women and they want to "even things out"; not many male victims of domestic violence report the abuse because in 12% of cases they will end up being arrested themselves, whereas the chances of their female partner being arrested, or even just ordered out of the house, are so slim they are basically zero; I could go on... tl;dr Stop trying to include men's rights in a movement that has resulted in them having less rights.

... I'm a woman. And I'm in no way saying that men are oppressed, just that claiming feminism "is for men's rights too" is ridiculous.

Uhm, no. It's hilarious that you think that a dictionary definition is law, but it's not. Feminism is all about fighting for equal rights for everyone and destroying harmful societal bullshit, among other things. Therefore, true feminism includes the removal of gender roles and stereotypes, which hurt both men and women. True feminism is all about helping abuse victims, regardless of their gender. You're just another egalitarian trying to poison feminism by spewing words from a dictionary, like that's somehow going to change what the ACTUAL MOVEMENT is all about.

Also I'd love to see some tangible proof that true feminism has hurt men more than helped besides your really skewed rant. I'd LOVE it.

I'm so sorry /: I understand how that can be with parents. Sometimes you just have to try your best to ignore it /:

Tell your mom shes shitty and breaking your heart.

don't let her get into your head, you're a very brave person for getting the police involved. you did the right thing no matter what she says

I definitely agree with #5, no matter what anyone says, you did the right thing. You should never have to live with that. You're very strong!

Unfortunately parents aren't always logical, and don't use their heads or good judgment like they expect their kids to. OP you did the right thing.

Don't let it get to you. What went on behind closed doors between you & him & your safety is what matters. Your mom sees things from one side & from the sounds of it he obviously made an effort to give others one impression & treat you another way

This is pretty much exactly what I was going to say. You got out of the abusive relationship, and that's what matters.

Good for you, OP. You'll be happier and healthier knowing that he's out of your life, no matter what your mom says.

Does she not know that he's violent?

maybe you should tell your mom to date the bastard for a month and see her input on it then :p (being sarcastic) (down vote away)