Sex, Weird and Intimacy: Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning...

By SadExperiment - 30/10/2012 00:42 - United States - Claremont

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has secretly been conditioning me to get turned on by the smell of bananas. Guess whose new co-worker peels a nice, fragrant banana five times a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 716

You deserved it 3 341

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Fragrant

By nooneinparticular - 21/05/2020 08:00

Today, I realized that I get turned on by my girlfriend's perfume. My mother started using the same one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 704

You deserved it 165

By evomadrid24 - 17/06/2011 00:33 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smelt my penis after I got back from the gym. She was making sure it didn't smell like latex. I can't even go to the gym without her thinking I'm cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 078

You deserved it 10 246

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 622

You deserved it 6 658

By Anonymous - 18/03/2014 21:31 - United States - Arlington

Today, a coworker filed a complaint against me, all because I ate a banana at lunch, which he claimed is "threateningly sexual", whatever the hell that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 185

You deserved it 3 998

By Jaws - 10/02/2011 16:09 - France

Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 770

You deserved it 38 581

Territorial

By creepy af - 01/07/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend to wait at my new place for some furniture to be delivered. When I got the notification on my phone, I checked the cameras and saw her pressing her sweaty armpits against multiple surfaces. When confronted, she said she was using pheromones to “mark her territory.” WTF? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 04/11/2014 02:39 - United States - Baraboo

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 584

You deserved it 5 535

By LinaLinaYeah - 09/12/2011 16:26 - Canada

Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 871

You deserved it 28 490

By potassiumgirl - 11/04/2012 19:53 - United States - Hollywood

Today, I was eating a banana, and decided to practice my blowjob skills, since my boyfriend is always complaining that I'm bad at giving head. Let's just say my lungs now have their daily dose of potassium. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 049

You deserved it 38 865

Productivity Queen

By NoJustNo - 13/06/2022 08:00 - United States

Today, my new office mate offered to let me smell her deodorant. This was after clipping her nails, before pulling out her needle point project, and while complaining how overworked she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 79

hotshot2626 9

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:47

Am I the only one wondering how someone goes about conditioning another person to be turned on by the smell of bananas?

CrissyyyS2 22

Tuesday 30 October 2012 8:46

Bananas for bananas, makes sense.

Comments

mintypoison 22

Saturday 3 November 2012 4:28

Ah, the joys of conditioning. c: Have fun with that OP!

KN7x13st7 6

Saturday 3 November 2012 12:57

Lol love Pavlov's Classical Conditioning

Corgidan 12

Sunday 4 November 2012 0:21

Simply condition yourself to not be turned on by bananas; the conditioned response should go extinct eventually.

toofacedaddict 4

Sunday 4 November 2012 6:21

Watch out!! She's going bananas!!

cdelton22 3

Friday 9 November 2012 1:35

Hmmmm....

sonny234 0

Friday 23 November 2012 0:38

Who the **** eats 5 bananas a day?

TawnyAnarchy 7

Monday 7 January 2013 12:12

Bananas? Weird.

flashback_fml 14

Saturday 22 June 2013 22:36

And how has she been doing this?

J483 12

Sunday 22 February 2015 3:32

This is the best thing I've ever heard - I'm truly sorry though.

daemonsparta 16

Friday 24 April 2015 10:45

...why bananas?

Keywords

Gamers Annoying Video games Abuse Birthday Relatable Money Social Media Scams Education Parents School Kids Public freakouts Health Grieving Mental health Music Geek Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Cops Transportation Bikes Fight Family Gross Customers Work

The Top

Today, I caught my young son watching porn so, not wanting to give him a warped view of sex and love, I was giving him the proper sex talk when my religious mother walked in, realised what we were talking about, and started screaming about sin and hell and diseases, and he ran off crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 96

Today, my parents used to tell that me life gets way better after high school. Yeah, for everyone else at my school. They’re partying it up in college or travelling during gap years, meeting all sorts of people. I have to work more than full time because my parents kicked me out the week after I graduated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 457

You deserved it 95

The Top

Today, I had a Skype interview for a wonderful new job. I was calm, cool and ready to land it. But just like in a bad movie, the interviewer ended up being the creepy guy I turned down repeatedly in high school and in our 20s. He smirked and told me I could continue, but it would be pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 674

Today, my mom’s greedy cat stole some milk I had left on the countertop, completely undeterred by the fact that not only was the milk in a plastic bag, it was also frozen solid. Yep, he actually managed to eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 133

Today, the weather forecast said it would be nice all day, with only a tiny shower in the afternoon, so I went on a 50 km bike ride to enjoy the summer. In reality, it rained pretty much all day, with a little bit of sunshine occasionally in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 179

Today, I overheard my parents discussing whether or not they could trust me being alone in the house for 2 days. They then came to the decision that I'm too unpopular and unattractive to ever throw a wild party or get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 659

You deserved it 3 271

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 151

You deserved it 4 167

Today, I excitedly told my brother I submitted a short story for a competition for the first time ever. His reply? "Congrats. I guess the first letter of rejection is a special occasion." Gee, thanks for that reality check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 422

You deserved it 1 229

Same thing different taste

Fragrant

Territorial

Productivity Queen

Top comments

Comments