Today, I found out that my 20-year-old boyfriend won't touch my boobs because he is afraid his parents will find out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML
Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML
Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML
Today, I learned that my 29-year-old boyfriend won't stay the night at my house because he lives at home with his parents and doesn't want to have "the discussion" with his mom about me. FML
Today, I'm 5 months pregnant. My 20-year-old boyfriend still refuses to tell his parents because he thinks he'll get in trouble. He thinks we can get away with "never telling them and just hiding the kid." FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend told his parents about my bondage fetish. In front of me. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend why he wasn't on Facebook for the last two days. It turned out his father found out we were talking, and banned him from logging on. He's 19. FML
Today, I found my boyfriend making out with my mom. FML
Today, I learned that my (ex) boyfriend has a breastfeeding fetish. How did I learn this? I found him sneaking pictures of my breastfeeding sister. FML
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Top comments
nick347b 6
Tell him to touch your boobs or you'll tell his parents.
baconstrips 12
Boyfriend: hehehe boobies! :D Girlfriend: wanna touch them? Boyfriend: NO WAY! My parents will kill me!
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Comments (202)
icy37 10
Is it really that bad? Personally I reckon FMLs should be like the guy who shat himself at a dinner party, not this.
icy37 10
Oh, just read the rules. I'm sorry, no need to moderate me Alan. Seriously, no need
Inspired22 11
Thank you, Alan. This site would be depressing if everyone's life sucked as a whole who submitted stories. The funny facepalm moments are what keep us coming back and laughing again and again.
leadman1989 16
You live ONE state over... "thinks about it".... **** IT I'll make the drive! PM me ;p
awksome 0
omg he's a girl :) tell him you don't like dating anymore because you're scared your ex will find out.. see if that does anything.. if not, dumping is the word you're looking for :)
lightzonlycast 2
It must suck dating tim tebow op.
Trystan777 0
I'd say, quite simply, dump that pussy and find a real man to play with those *******. Any MAN knows that mama cares, but mama don't have to know. And any "man" that fears anything from mama while over 20 needs to get his balls cut off so she can hang them from her rearview mirror.
NPN_Scorpio 16
Tell him to take his puberty (purity) ring off. The one in his mind most of all.
pdp_fml 21
I would just undress for him and just let him look at what he could be touching. If he's a red blooded male, he won't be able to resist very long.
ahabsfan 17
Did his parents find out about his jerking off? Once bitten twice shy.
ExhaustedLove 0
Lol..You sure he's 20 or 12?
SucksToBeYouBruh 0
What a little kid!! DUMP THAT LOSER, RIGHT NOW...!!!!!!!