Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML
Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
your childhood was robbed
clancey6 4
If they were chocolate chip Chips Ahoy cookies.. I understand her reasoning..
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Comments (188)
the_flirttt 8
I'm allergic to chocolate ;-; but I still eat it :3 lol
Zano23 9
I break out on my arms after eating Nutella. But I still risk it from time to time. The tastiness is worth it.
naduskalove 3
How could your own mother do such a thing to you ?!?! Holy shit, I am so shocked . She should be embrassed , very embrassed ! Not only you never ate chocolate at your own house you also refused yourself to eat it anywhere else because of a false allergy.sorry op she ruined your childhood COMPLETELY.
Myo_fml 20
Is it bad that because of the misspelled word that I envisioned a woman screaming entirely encased and molded in brass?
naduskalove 3
What can I say , auto correct is a bitch sometimes.
bReLiNg 18
Do what did op do to cope with PMS?
PYLrulz 17
What a stingy bitch your mom is!
rockerlove2013 6
Mom of the year :) ur not traumatized right?
Zomg_Okay 27
Quickly! Go make up for lost time! Might I suggest a Hershey's bar? Yum.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Damn she's stingy.
perdix 31
I had a similar experience. My mom said I was allergic to hugs, and that's why I could never have one :,(
Welshite 40
Awww, don't cry perdix. Your mother just can't say you are allergic to something. The only way to find out if you truly are allergic to hugs is to jump random people in the street and envelope them in embraces. You just might have an allergy to some people, you'll be able to tell by their reactions if you are or not. Hug back=no allergy Punch to the face=allergy
Enslaved 38
Shoot! My mom said I was allergic to breast milk just so she wouldn't have to nurse me. She feared getting saggy boobs. Try growing up on either (eye) soy or goat's milk! :P
trqskq 14
Your mother is an evil genius!
alfred07 18
What a bitch
Pandacupcakelove 26
Your mother is evil.... A childhood with no chocolate? D: