Today, I found out that I'm not actually allergic to chocolate, when my mom freely admitted to me that she made it up when I was a child because she didn't want to share any cookies with me. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my mother in-law made dessert. It was a beautiful chocolate cake, chocolate cookies, and every other thing had chocolate in it. I'm deathly allergic to chocolate and she knows this. FML
Today, my mom baked a cake for the whole family. One spent EpiPen later, I found out there were nuts in it, which I'm severely allergic to. My mom's defense was that she thought I'd have "gotten over" my allergy by now. FML
Today, I discovered a drawer full of chocolates, cookies and baked goods in my house. When I asked my sister what the drawer was, she told me that my mom thought it would be a good idea to hide the fattening foods from me. My entire family had known about the food drawer, except me. FML
Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML
Today, I had to go to the ER because of a terrible allergic reaction I had to the cookies my "friend" made for me. She assured me several times that there were no nuts in them. Turns out, she put nuts in them on purpose, to see whether or not I was really allergic. FML
Today, I was babysitting my boss's kids. I brought chocolate for them and the youngest said he had never had chocolate and didn't want any. I told him he should always try new things and should eat it. He did. He's allergic. FML
Today, in a fit of rage, my mom confessed to me that I was adopted, and if she had the chance to turn back time, she wouldn't have done it in the first place. All because I ate the last ice cream sandwich. FML
Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML
Today, my mother turned up drunk at my house with a chocolate cake for my 14th birthday. I'm 27, I haven’t seen her in 6 years, I'm allergic to chocolate, and when she saw that I had 2 kids, she wanted to know why I'd bothered, since kids are always "such a disappointment". FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
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Top comments
Dodge4x4Ram 46
your childhood was robbed
clancey6 4
If they were chocolate chip Chips Ahoy cookies.. I understand her reasoning..
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Comments (188)
kitkattgirl 2
That's cruel...actually borderline abusive (ok maybe an exaggeration). But that was wrong. What a selfish (bad word). Anyone that determined to covet stupid cookies to themselves deserves to live without chocolate for the rest of their lives as punishment. Well now, go out and experience the wonders of chocolate! And keep it all to yourself.
xNephilim 19
No that's straight up child abuse. OP's mom is up there with rapists and murderers. O_o On a slightly more serious note, I'd suggest getting the best cookies ever and eating them in front of your mom. Don't let her have any!!!
feistyyyfeist 7
That is genius! I wish I could shake your moms hand
mrsvonvanity 1
Omg if i were allergic to chocolate I would die!
awkward_gothlady 32
So now you go bake yourself a huge batch of homemade cookies and proceed to eat them right in front of her, not offering her any! Revenge is sweet.
False_Stupidity 42
And so are cookies!
awkward_gothlady 32
#97 That doesn't occur to most children, and we don't know how old the OP is now..,.
coolbrony12 3
What a wasted life... Blank slap her. Fill in the blank with what your mom is.
blunty1 1
Well the joke is on her. When it's nursing home time you can repay the favor
isaiahyoung99 2
How old are u now??
karen1991 15
That cookie Robbing bitch
ScaryLullaby 10
Man that sucks!