Today, I found out my dad has been using the flip-flops I wear in the shower. The reason I wear them is to prevent myself from getting his nasty foot fungus. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a news story about how wearing flip-flops is dangerous. I scoffed at the ridiculous study and went about my business. Three hours later I accidentally ripped off my toenail. While wearing flip-flops. FML
Today, I sat on the kitchen counter in my boxers for ten minutes running my feet under hot water. Why? Because my dad thought it would be funny to superglue my feet together. FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, I got a call from my roommate's mother, asking me to hide her flip flops so she couldn't wear them out in sub-zero temperatures. FML
Today, my dad has such thick, horn like toenails that when I stepped on one of the cuttings, it actually stabbed into the thinner skin on the underside of my toe and bled like crazy. FML
Today, I found out the hard way that my 74-year-old dad sometimes wakes up early and washes dishes. Sounds great, except sometimes he likes to do so with nothing on from the waist down. FML
Today, my dad decided to be an awesome person and fold my laundry without telling me. Later, I heard my parents having a conversation about a pair of panties that were "like dental floss" and which sister they belonged to. FML
Today, my dad has apparently decided that it's too much of a bother to put clothes on when he gets out of bed. He's been walking around in his tighty-whiteys for hours now. FML
Today, whilst on the toilet at the mall, I took my new designer sandals off as my feet were blistered. Not even a second later, a hand reached out from under the stall, grabbed my sandals and disappeared. I had to walk home a mile barefoot. In the burning heat. FML
Today, my dad decided to clean his muddy shoes right beside me by clapping them together, causing mud to fly all over me. This wouldn't have been a problem had I not been wearing my white wedding dress just before getting married. FML
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Top comments
JHPugh 19
Boil them in hot water, then empty the pot onto your dad. Or, you could try telling him. That might work better!
Sqaud00 17
Have a talk with your dad or if that doesn't work just keep them hidden from him.
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Comments (40)
leogachi 15
Buy a new pair and keep them in your room when you're not using them. A friend of mine had to do that with her expensive shampoo because her asshole cousin (who was staying with her family at the time) was deliberately dumping it down the toilet.
Selene1090 26
How do you accidentally dump shampoo down the toilet?
SPN_lover666 27
#15, #14 said deliberately, which means on purpose. The asshole cousin was pouring it down the toilet on purpose.
thisguy22 33
I think she was referring to the fact that 'deliberately' wasn't necessary in this sentence since it obviously couldn't be achieved accidentally. At least that's what I though upon reading it myself.
SPN_lover666 27
#22. The way I read it, the friends cousin poured the shampoo in the toilet just to be a bitch.
VeganVampyre 27
25- yes, but what 22 (and possibly 15?) was trying to point out was that you can't accidentally dump shampoo down the toilet, so saying it was done deliberately is redundant, because it's already obvious that it was done deliberately. They could have just said the asshole cousin was dumping the shampoo down the toilet, without adding "deliberately".
leogachi 15
@15 I don't know how a person would manage that, but I'd be willing to bet that at least one person would have said, "Maybe it was an accident," if I hadn't added "deliberately" to my comment. A lot of people here are quick to defend even when someone is obviously just being a jerk.
Lalala579121 28
Why not just keep them in your room or something.
starglow13 10
what, i posted this FML anonymously quite a while ago and it wasn't published...WORD FOR WORD...but I'm not a man and I don't live in Australia??
TheNewGuy03 29
Perhaps it's your dad's way of saying that he wants to grow on you. Anyway, get new flip-flops ASAP.
thefmlman2011 37
dude, you live in Australia. they're called thongs!
locustbb 9
While gross, it's not likely to infect you. the carpet is just as likely as the shower. Hope your problem gets fixed though.
worldclassrager 41
Did you find this out by getting his fungal infection....
kristergirl 13
the irony
SailingIsLife 10
Bleach, a lot of bleach!
awkwardngrateful 10
He needs to buy you the anti- fungal now.