Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, I found out why the group chat I was in with my friends has been dead. Apparently, they made a group chat without me in it, so that they could make fun of me behind my back. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, I found out my old high school class has a friend group on Facebook, so I applied to join but received a very frank and nasty message. Apparently they all remember me as “the Bullying Mean Girl” and all voted not to let me join. I was a nerd in high school and I was nice to everyone. FML
Today, after knowing my friendship group for 9 years, who were like my family, I found out that they actually hate me and have been trying to get me to go away for 5 years. When I left, they laughed at me, argued with me and their exact last words were, "K bye" and then kicked me out. FML
Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
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Top comments
Oxy_Moron 0
Imagine if your friends then decide not to show up... and then you end up being tickled by a bunch of total strangers lmao
justsayin21 0
that's hilarious. i hope the event is a success and you die.
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Comments (105)
saint_jon 0
shit's ****** up, hope u make it out olive
lakeview 0
obviously she found it funny and wanted to share it with people i mean really im laughin my ass off right now lighten up
yukyukfuk 0
Inform them that this is assault. "Assault is often defined to include not only violence, but any physical contact with another person without their consent." (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assault)
Arin_Wolfe 2
Thats so many kinds of not cool. I'd call somone to escort you. Not cool.
cherylface 13
Well I guess it's an FML if they plan to literally tickle you to death. Psh, all you silly people thinking she meant that her friends just wanted a laugh.
MrsJJ 0
Lighten up. Your friends sound like they just want to have a good time. It's college, just chill.
devildog42787 0
Maybe if they were going to gang rape you after Christmas and make a facebook page so random people could join in I'd feel sorry for you.
Mylife_is_so_fd 0
wtf fml is full of bs like this nowadays what happened to the way it used to be
juicypear 0
Get a life.
Youresofake 0
This girl obviously wants it to happen anyways. She's just pretending to hate it because she likes the attention.
Lia_Mackenzie 4
That's probably true. Most girls who "hate" to be tickled are really just employing reverse psychology. (I'm a girl and a psychology major, I should know - but I don't claim to hate to be tickled). 'Cause really, who doesn't love to tickle someone? The reaction is hilarious, and it's physical contact, which we all love on some level (except for antisocial personality types, I imagine). It's like going, "Noooo, stoooop!" (in that I-don't-really-mean-it tone of voice). The response indicates that you want it to continue. If the OP really hated to be tickled, she would be very serious about telling her friends not to touch her/tickle her. Or she just wouldn't react at all, and it would be boring for everyone else. THAT would make them stop. OP, based on this information, I can deduce that you're an attention *****. Enjoy your torture.
iloverichardhell 0
im also a girl and also a psych major, but im still going to disagree with this. while this may be true for some people, its not always true (and if youve even gone through basic psychology, you should know that theres more than meets the eye sometimes.. you CANNOT just categorize people without knowing any background or any other evidence to go on. thats actually something they teach you NOT to do- you dont diagnose without having enough reason to.) i truly hate getting tickled, because i just DO NOT like the feeling of it. i may laugh or squeal but its like torture- you have to realize that for some people it is. it truly feels like i am being raped if someone is tickling me and i say to stop and they dont. and no, thats not me "wanting attention". its me NOT LIKING the feeling of someone touching me in any way that i dont want, especially after ive told them to stop. and i assure you, i am not the only one in the world that feels that way.
jaybee10112 0
"it truly feels like i am being raped if someone is tickling me and i say to stop and they dont." it feels like you're being RAPED? i doubt it...
iloverichardhell 0
actually yes it does. it does the same for me psychologically as if i was being raped. and you could say i "need help" or something like that, and i could argue and this could be a lame little internet fight, but no. i already know i have problems, im simply stating that i am not the only person in the world who feels that way.
Lia_Mackenzie 4
iloverichardhell and mastapeace16, lighten up. This site is all about sarcasm and humor, you're supposed to have some. =P