Today, I found out my college friends are going to attack me after Christmas and attempt to tickle me to death. All because they know that I hate to be tickled. They are also going to make a Facebook group dedicated to the matter so people can join in if they wish. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Today, I found out why the group chat I was in with my friends has been dead. Apparently, they made a group chat without me in it, so that they could make fun of me behind my back. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, I was sitting in class when I overheard a group talking about how much they don't like me. When they saw me there, they burst out laughing. FML
Today, I found out my old high school class has a friend group on Facebook, so I applied to join but received a very frank and nasty message. Apparently they all remember me as “the Bullying Mean Girl” and all voted not to let me join. I was a nerd in high school and I was nice to everyone. FML
Today, after knowing my friendship group for 9 years, who were like my family, I found out that they actually hate me and have been trying to get me to go away for 5 years. When I left, they laughed at me, argued with me and their exact last words were, "K bye" and then kicked me out. FML
Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML
Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML
Today, I found out that my friends have been "fake laughing" whenever I make a joke just so that the situation doesn't get awkward. FML
Today, I found out that my classmates hate me so much that they have a seating arrangement where people have to sit next to me on a rotating basis. A fight broke out yesterday because someone tried to skip their turn. FML
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Top comments
Oxy_Moron 0
Imagine if your friends then decide not to show up... and then you end up being tickled by a bunch of total strangers lmao
justsayin21 0
that's hilarious. i hope the event is a success and you die.
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Comments (105)
sightforsoreeyes 0
wtf? how is tickling comparable to rape? Tickling isn't illegal, unlawful, or in any way, shape, or form done with malicious intent, what an outlandish comparison.
iloverichardhell 0
technically it can constitute as harassment.. and im not comparing the two legally or morally. i only said that the psychological feeling for some people during is comparable to the feeling psychologically during a rape- the helpless, hopeless feeling of being pretty much violated and not being able to make it stop. i guess you wouldnt know if you didnt feel that way.
thatevilguy666 0
make sure you have some pepper spray and a tazzer with you so you can stun them all and than beat the **** out of them. oh and merry ******* christmas :)
Dagny 6
That's awful. I don't understand why so many people think this isn't an FML. For the benefit of those who aren't ticklish: imagine that all of your friends are holding you down and stabbing you with tiny needles. When you scream at them to stop, they laugh and just stab harder. You can't get away. You can't fight back. You don't know how long it will take them to get bored with tormenting you. You're forced to lie there begging them to stop while the needles strike again and again. It's TORTURE. I'm not using hyperbole here; it's torture in the literal sense of the word. Just because it doesn't deal physical damage doesn't mean it isn't torture. Inherent in a tickling attack are feelings of violation, helplessness, and betrayal--and that's all apart from the actual physical torment, which is significant. Another commenter equated it to rape. I think that's an excellent way of putting it. It's rape on a smaller scale. If the OP's friends really are planning to do this to her, then FHL.
neon_shoes 0
Well...are you going to tell us the name of the group?
StealthStorm67 0
Christ Almighty dude, thats tragic. Words can't express my sorrow for you. Hell you might as well kill yourself now so you don't have to suffer any longer.
RaphaelEnrique 0
this was sooo ****** gay!! FML for wasting my time for reason this shit!! AAGGGHHHH!!
gigi2009 0
splendid :) dude, 88. calm down.
Compass 0
File a police report against all of them for conspiracy to murder. You could also file Assault charges against each of them after they tickle you. That is, if you don't die. Yes, I realize how cynical I am, especially around this time of year.
Tora_fml 0
Umm, what the hell? "FML for having friends who just wanna mess around with me on Christmas?" Really. Take a joke. You'll survive a few minutes of tickling. Sheesh.
Bell_cat 0
I had a friend who thought tickling was funny. ONCE.